Sunday, January 29, 2006

Mun Hee Jun: You're in the army now

unThis year a large number of 'talents' are heading off to do their military service. Among them is Moon Hee Jun, one of my most popular posting subjects (especially among hordes of kyopo high school girls who long to have his freak love child).

Gangta, his former band member in the worst boy band in the history of the world, H.O.T. ('Highfive Of Teenager,' my vote for the most ridiculous band name of all time as well) is also going this year (he's the one with glasses in the picture you first thought was a girl). This is not a big problem, as his career has pretty much stopped anyway.

TalentlessWith a face like that, Gangta is sure to be the Belle of the ball for many a lonely soldier. Don't worry Gangta, according to the Code of Military service, what happens in the barrack showers after midnight, stays in the barracks.

Kim Jong-kook, on the far left, is in prime condition (the boy is ripped) and will at least adjust to the physical aspects of army life well enough, but these other pretty boys are in for a world of pain, especially our beloved She Hee-jun (though perhaps he lost 'pretty boy' status years ago).

Chubchub_1Look at that face. I pray that his drill searjant hates these
types of pretty boy bands (like any guy who owns a pair should) and hammers this chubby little mama's boy into a man. Considering the hardships they put
soldiers through, maybe Hee Jun will come back a true 'fuck it all and
fucking no regrets' rocker.

But mayhaps I should watch my tongue. Here's a recent article in Korean that warns against insulting people over the Internet, especially famous ones, and possible legal actions that the defamed can pursue in light of new censorship laws. It later turns into a collection of sob stories about entertainers (Moon Hee Jun included) who have their feelings hurt by the nasty comments left by Netizens.

Boo-fucking-Hoo. If you don't want to have your feelings hurt, just don't read what Netizens are saying. Better yet, just disappear from the public's eye all together if you can't take what naturally comes with being in the spotlight. Celebrities with real talent rarely get ridiculing or bashing on a large scale anyway, it's just those who deserve to be knocked down a peg or two. What would the world be coming to if we were denied to bash freaks and whores like Micheal Jackson and Paris Hilton? IMHO, Korea needs MORE ridiculing of famous figures, not less. I'm talking double-fisting South Park style celebrity roasting. It's all a part of a healthy democracy.

To support my argument, here are some pictures of Hee Jun. Take a gander, and then tell me why people should NOT give him shit.

13m19568m0Oh Juney, you shouldn't have gone there, girlfriend. A definite fashion-first, though.


Hard to add any comment to make Hee Jun look any worse than how he already looks in this picture. No wonder he later 'rebelled' and tried for a hard rock image.


Approaching Michael Jackson-level freaky here.

Yangsunlove_19A little gender confused, are we? Gangta does seem to like what he sees though. Add this picture to the Gaywatch files.


This is what Hee Jun looked like before the music industry got a hold of him. Add this case to their list of crimes against humanity.

It's not too late, Hee Jun. Come back to us.

I'm of two minds about Moon.

On one hand  he is a talentless dork (yes all you high school kyopo girls, he's a
dork) living off previous fame. He desperately tries to make a name for
himself as a 'serious' rocker by singing songs about 'real issues' like
the plight of Korean adoptees (as if Moon's ever even visited an
orphanage in Korea himself, let alone considered adopting) and racial
discrimination (his most recent video shows him being kicked out of a
bar in the States that has a big "Whites Only" sign on it. Yeah,
right.), but he's as much rock as Arron Carter is gangsta rap. Just one cheap gimmick after another.
On the other hand, Moon is such a
freak that you almost have to like him just for not being exactly like
the other 99% of the cloned entertainers in Korea. While all the other
H.O.T. members went on to put out the same predictable and safe shit,
Moon for some strange reason decided to try a combination of ballad and
hardcore rock (usually within the same song). I can't really get into
to it, but if I had the choice between listening to anything by the
usual Korean pop singers and Moon Hee Jun's songs (and if puncturing my ear drums were not an option) I would go with the Moon.

Comments on original post

Haha. Great post. The ROK army oughta create a special 'Mama Boy' Brigade and send 'em on special peacekeeping tours. What a great way to collectively reduce a nation's preceived toughness around the world.

Posted by: Sumi Yoshi | January 29, 2006 at 03:33 PM

You have too much time in your hands, stop hating people.

Posted by: JUN IS GOD. | January 30, 2006 at 09:57 PM

Geez,What an immature kids!

Posted by: gizmo23 | January 31, 2006 at 04:37 AM

I heard that most of the "celebrities" who do their time in the ROk army end up in Public Affair type units and do publicity crap anyway. That isn't the real army. And how many of these guys actually have notable careers after their army service anyway? I just hope he doesn't consider suicide. My girlfriend was in his last music video and said he was the quietest, most introverted person she had ever met. Those guys usually don't do so well at basic training.

Posted by: chris | February 07, 2006 at 06:48 PM

hello i just came here to drop bye and say wassup

Posted by: lise | March 01, 2006 at 12:00 PM

Been reading a few post from here. All I got to say is don't you have good things to say? All your post is most likely a recopy make-a-like USA celebrity GOSSIP. Then what the heck is your music style?

Posted by: Angelica | May 11, 2006 at 12:41 AM

Your jealousy runs deep. They got a life and you should get one too.

Posted by: K Vang | July 08, 2006 at 07:35 PM

The simple fact're jealous that every Korean chick would fuck this celeb over you any day! Get a life dick head and go get fucked!

Posted by: T Vue | July 26, 2006 at 03:31 PM

this guy... changes people's comments if it "insults" him.. wonder if he insults others...

Posted by: bbf | July 27, 2006 at 11:09 PM

hey thats cool. i hope moon hee jun be famous again. and H.O.T. serioulsy thay have to come back.

Posted by: hee sung | December 12, 2006 at 10:36 AM

yea, wish H.O.T will come back

Posted by: Chris | January 12, 2007 at 04:18 PM

first of all, learn how to spell ppl's name before u go bashing them. some kinda english teacher u are!!

man, u are gonna get bashed by some HOT fans very soon!! have fun dying!!

Posted by: someone | March 04, 2007 at 03:31 PM

What's your problem?Sad you couldn't be an H.O.T. member I sure think so.Loser!

Posted by: Josephine | March 18, 2007 at 10:06 PM

i dont understand the thing up on the top. he said something about people. what was he talking about. i mostely payed attention about his history. is moon hee jun coming back?

Posted by: kee sung | March 19, 2007 at 10:14 AM

i dont understand the thing up on the top. he said something about people. what was he talking about. i mostely payed attention about his history. is moon hee jun coming back?

Posted by: kee sung | March 19, 2007 at 10:14 AM

Moon Hee Jun so cooool! I Like him because he so clever, and can do anything. I heard he joined military. I hope Gizmo (Hee Jun's nickname) can back to entertainment and singing again.

Posted by: nisa, 17 years old | August 31, 2007 at 10:11 PM

moon hee jun soo coool!I like him because he so cool and gentleman.

Posted by: nisa ,17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:15 PM

Moon Hee Jun is my idol, he so cool.

Posted by: nisa ,17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:16 PM

Moon Hee Jun so cool!I hope Hee Jun can back .

Posted by: nisa ,17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:22 PM

Moon Hee Jun so coool! I Like him because he is gentleman.

Posted by: nisa, 17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:24 PM

Moon Hee Jun so coool! I Like him because he is gentleman.

Posted by: nisa, 17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:25 PM

Moon Hee Jun so cool! I think he can singing again.

Posted by: nisa, 17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:28 PM

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

January Dokdo Post

US and Japan forces plot to retake Dokdo! You heard it here first.

In the scenario, soldiers will infiltrate a
captured island by boat and retake it after exchanging fire with the
enemy, the official said, though no live ammunition will be used during
the exercise.

Read between the lines people! Don't let anyone tell you this has anything to do with making a show of force to China. Dokdo is what is on the minds of the evil Japanese 24/7! 

Considering the combined might of Japan and US forces, I suggest the Korea double the number of bored marines on that rock and add another fighter jet or two to their fleet (and make sure they are able to reach Dokdo in less than 5 minutes!). Furthermore, the media should double the number of special Dokdo documentaries and Korean civilians at home can do their part by being ready to immolate or disfigure themselves at a moment's notice.

In a (somewhat) related story, Occidentalism has a bizarre story  on a supposed poll taken in Korea by a Japanese news station.


Answers to the question ‘what would you do if America attacked North Korea without the Permission of the South Korean government?

32.1% - Support America

47.6% - Help North Korea

21.2% - Attack Japan


Here's how I interpret this poll: 32% of Koreans is about the percentage of Koreans who are very unhappy with the current government's policy on North Korea, and thus have no problems with the US ignoring what the Korean government says on this issue. 47% of Koreans are severely stupid and should just be slapped silly, and the remaining 21% either completely misheard the question or just have IQs equal to that of rotting heads of cabbage.

On to other news...

Professor Hwang's 2004 study likely to be fake as well (and Hwang may have even admitted it).

I hope you were all sitting down before you read that.

That leaves their little dog Snuppy left as the last hope for the 40 million-dollar man. Koreans were polled on what they think should be done if Professor Hwang's supposed cloning of a dog turned out to be faked as well. The results were not surprising:

Force Hwang to resign and face criminal charges     42%
Just allow SNU to punish Hwang as they see fit.      35%
Dokdo belongs to Korea so we should attack Japan  23%                                                          

13For those who fail to see the relevance of Dokdo and Professor Hwang, here's a recent picture on the I Love Hwang cult fansite (106,000 members!). Click on that baby and you'll see it's the banner for the 황사모 ('The Hwang Love Group') fan site (cause just one Hwang fansite ain't near enough) and clearly that is Dokdo in the background. So obviously, in some way these two events are related and if they say so, that's enough truthiness for me.

Sunday, January 8, 2006

Naver Daily Hate Reminder

Ohno Does it Again!

Found this on the front page of Naver portal site a few days ago. A few kyopos in America 'discovered' that US speedskater Anton Apollo Ohno was in some fast food ad and they felt it was their patriotic duty to alert the 'reporters' at Naver.

Here are the offensive photos that the kyopos sent to Naver.

20060105s1I suppose to help out the slower Korean Netizens, Naver reporter (patriot Kim Sang gi) circled the parts of the photos that are particularly offensive.

The title is typical of the usual Naver 'reporting'

오노 미국 유명 패스트푸드 광고…네티즌 분노

"Ohno's famous American fast food ad...Netizen fury"

We'll get back to just how accurate that title is a little later.

Some excerpts from the article:

아폴로 안톤 오노를 향한 때아닌 분노가 다시 일렁이고 있다. 한 목소리로 대동단결한 우리 네티즌들은 국내에도 진출한 유명 패스트푸드 업체를 겨냥한 불매운동까지 벌일 태세다.

'The wrath for Appollo Anton Ohno is raging again. In one voice our united Netizens are setting their sites on boycotting as punishment the famous fast food enterprise that has made inroads into our country.'

'In one voice our united Netizens blah blah blah" Has a bit of North Korean rhetoric ring, don't you think? They report this as if the streets are already full of angry protestors in front of every McDonald's in the country, but as you read the rest of the article you realize this isn't the case. This is not a news report of what his happening; it's a call to arms in the guise of objective reporting.

What is this fast food company? The article doesn't say (refering to it as fast food chain "A"), but I'll give you a cryptic hint: '...and on that farm they had an evil Japanese-American speed skater, EIEIOhNO.'

The article goes on to give all the awful details of this insulting ad:

사진에는 금메달을 목에 걸고 활짝 웃는 오노의 모습이 선명하다. 또 ‘나는 얼음 위에선 최강의 선수다. 쓰러져도 다시 우뚝 설 것이다. 나는 아폴로 안톤 오노다’라는 문구도 적혀 있다.

"In the picture the bright laughing appearance of Ohno with the gold medal around his neck is clear. Furthermore, 'I am the best athlete on ice.' 'Even if a fall I get right back up.' 'I am Appolo Anton Ohno.' are all written.

My God, what an evil bastard.

Said the poor Korean who had to see this horrible sight:

그는 “우리 일행이 봉투를 확인하고 깜짝 놀랐더니 매장에 있던 외국인들이 우리를 비웃었다”면서 불쾌했던 기억도 떠올렸다.

The bitter memory rose up again; "Our group checked the bag and was shocked: The foreigners in the store were mocking us."

Yeah. Every person in the store was secretly laughing his or her Big-Mac eating American ass off at you at that very moment. That's all we really think about, you see, is how we can torment the poor Koreans. That's just how important you really are to us.

Now back to the title of this article, other than this Korean quoted above, there is no Netizen wrath...yet. This is just another case of Naver doing all it can to make sure Koreans hate Americans (and Canadians and other foreigners as well) as much as they should. Daum also gets in on the fun from time to time as well. These are very popular portal sites where many (if not most) young Koreans get their 'news' (now with 40% less objectivity and journalist standards!). 

There are some 1500 replies to this article. Be sure to read and savor each and every one of them. Netizens do say the darnedest things...

I hate to pee on the hate parade, but I dug this up from an interview with Ohno years back.

AS: Are you aware of the poll taken in South Korea saying the South

Koreans hate Apolo Ohno more than Osama bin Laden?

Ohno: Yeah, I saw that, but I don't know about that. How do I take

that? Because this year, at competitions, the whole Korean team has

come up to me and told me how they loved the way I skate and how

they actually have no problems with me and how they were just sad

and disappointed that their main man didn't perform like they wanted

him to.

Lies. LIES I SAY! The Korean ice skaters would never have the maturity and class disrespect the true Corean patriotic spirit to ever say such a thing.

Keep hating Coreans, keep hating...