Saturday, March 24, 2007

Random Splats: April

Gettin' Wiki wid it

Not sure if some other K-blogger has already mentioned this, but fan death has reached wikipedia. The wiki boys seem to think it's all bunk, but I'll wait until conservapedia comes out and tells us God's Honest Truth about it before I even think of buying a fan.

Chi power!
A youtube video of a 'kiai master' whose power of chi/ki/The Force or whatever is so strong he can knock people over without touching them. The first half is hilarious, the second half...I don't know. Kind of felt sorry for the old guy. I really wonder how he let himself get into that position. Maybe after you run a scam for so long you start to actually believe in it yourself? (found the link through the James Randi site)

Random link generator: #1

This link was found by a new search tool I discovered recently, the random link generator. Decided I'd just try it out and see what happens. Hope it leads to something interesting.

Life, it turns out, may not actually be fair after all
The famous anti 'ex-patriot' piece from the Korea Times has already made the rounds in the k-blogosphere. The gist of the piece is that life is tough for a kyopo in Korea, so white  'ex-patriots' (probably referring to America-hating Democrats) should shut up.

As a female Bangladeshi factory worker in Korea (there, I've finally revealed my true identity, Allah be praised), I'd like to tell him to shut the fuck up. I'm tired of all these spoiled little kyopos who have it so easy here in Korea (relative to people like me) whining about how 'unfair' life is.

Random Link Generator #2
Again,  this link was randomly generated. It does not necessarily reflect my exact opinion on whatever topic it happens to discuss.

KGW Update
I guess we can keep this guy on our files after all.

Funny how the recent generation of Korean singers keep their romances out of the public eye so well. You hear about Eric from Shinhwa scoring with the babes every now and then, but that's about it...

86% (hat tip to koreaspondent)


Monday, March 19, 2007

The Host Conquers America

I'm surprised this story hasn't been carried by the Chosun Ilbo yet. Perhaps they've just been struggling to find the right spin angle to present it. Allow me to help them out (I grant full permission to the good people at Chosun Ilbo to reprint this article in its entirety).

It's official: The Korean Wave has finally roared across the Greater East Sea* and has engulfed the United States of America. The Korean blockbuster, The Host, in only its second week after being unleashed in the States, outperformed no less than 79 American movies in the box office this past week. The list of vanquished Hollywood movies includes such blockbusters as Charlotte's Web, Blood Diamond, and Wild Safari 3D: A South African Adventure.  Even Oscar nomination heavyweights such as The Departed and Letters from Iwo Jima received a sound spanking. Hollywood executives could not conceal their embarrassment, if not outright terror.

Says unbiased American movie analyst Jennifer Kim:

"During the first week of its release, when it conquered no less than 88  major Hollywood releases, many people just assumed that it was due to millions of Korean-Americans flocking to the movie to bump up the numbers. However, in the second week, only about 75% of the Korean-American community was able to make it out to the theaters for a second or third viewing. Clearly, someone else is watching this movie! The Host has now absolutely proved it is no fluke. There is no Hollywood."

On the music end of the Korean Wave, America is just barely recovering from the mass hysteria that accompanied the Rain tour, which saw an amazing 400% increase** in non Asian-American fans compared to previous estimates when Rain wowed audiences at two sold-out Madison Square Garden shows.

Photo: Hordes of American fans being λΉ„'d on at Madison Square Garden. (the photo doesn't show it, but there really was a white girl in the audience. Lots of people saw her and will tell you it is absolutely true)

Continues unbiased American citizen Jennifer Kim,

"The effect of the Korean Wave in America is undeniable. It was just the other day when a Chinese-American friend of mine was mistakenly assumed to be Korean by someone on the street. How wild is that? And at a party the other day I was talking to this white guy, and when he found out I was Korean he noted that he knew that Old Boy won some European award recently. He hasn't actually seen the movie, but he agreed that it's probably pretty good."

Movie critics in the States have given The Host extremely high praise. Said one reviewer,

"The Host has all the necessary components of a great movie: It's from a foreign country, it has subtitles, and most of the actors aren't white. And those who are white play stereotypical evil characters completely lacking in depth. It's got all the makings of a classic."

The Host continues to play at 71 69 movie theaters across the United States. 

*Also referred to as the Pacific Ocean by the uneducated
**This percentage might actually be higher. In addition to confirmed sightings of 4 non-Asians at the concerts (one was even black!), there were several reports of at least 2 other individuals that may have been Hispanic, but then again, could just have been Korean girls who were going for a gang-banger look.

Comments from original blog entry


This post almost motivates me to see the movie.


Posted by: Kevin Kim | March 19, 2007 at 11:33 PM

You forgot to mention the best part. For betraying their country the whiteys got deported from Korea.

Posted by: EFL Geek | March 20, 2007 at 01:48 AM

Bravo, sir, bravo.

Posted by: Nomad | March 20, 2007 at 08:26 PM

OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD r U ghey? Shin Bang wid Dong...oh, sorry, wrong thread :)

Another great piss take on the "Hub of Asia." Cheers.

Posted by: Awesome Iguana | March 22, 2007 at 10:56 PM

Gosh Darn it I am So Mad! When are you people going to get it? IT IS THE WEST CANADA OCEAN!!!!!

Posted by: kimchipig | March 23, 2007 at 03:17 PM

hey,I almost laugh myself to death
keep up the good work

Posted by: stannn | April 02, 2007 at 11:14 PM