I'd Love You to Love Me

From the Korean Times:

President Roh Moo-hyun starts his third year in office next Friday, and on the Internet homepage of Chong Wa Dae is a series of contributions from abroad mainly praising Roh and his administration.

One article said President Roh would ``take a special position in history’’ because of his philosophy on the government. Noting Roh’s innate style forces him to approach people and seek their support before making major decisions, it added, `` history will rank the Korean president among great men.’’ Another story goes, ``the ultimate credit should go to the Roh administration for accomplishing democracy in Korea.’’ The presidential paeans have been sent at the request of the Blue House.

From my exclusive sources*, I managed to get a copy of one of their letters requesting warm fuzzies for Roh:

Dear Mr./Mrs./Miss ________. Would you please send us a letter telling us how much you like South Korean President Roh? Our little guy has had a really tough 3 years and he sure could use a good pick-me-up. You might find it strange that we are requesting compliments from foreigners, but you have to understand that 1) we can't find anyone of significance in Korea who will say nice things about Roh and 2), our self-esteem is such that we don't feel validated until a non-Korean says that we are ok.

In case you have trouble thinking of good things to say, here are some possible compliments:

1. Compared to the Korean War and IMF periods, the Korean economy is doing great under your leadership.

2. With the trivial exception of hundreds of thousands of North Korean refugees and 30+ million other North Koreans, your record on the advancement of human rights is truly inspiring.

3. Your committment to ending corruption in Korea is proven by the fact that your presidential campaign limited itself to accepting only US$14 million in illegal contributions; less than 10% of the US$71 million collected by the GNP.

4. You have much better hair than most GNP politicians.

5. You are at least as effective and influential as former US President Jimmy Carter.

6. The fact that you were once again not included in the world's 10 worst dictators clearly shows that Korea could be doing much worse than having you as their leader.

7. The list of accomplishments you have made in the last 3 years is just as long as the list of accomplishments that came from Kim Dae Jung's 2000 Summit with Kim Jeong-il. If that man gets a Nobel Peace prize, I don't see on earth why you couldn't buy one either.

And the list goes on and on.

To do my part, I would just like to say to Roh that you are a very special person. You're smart enough, you're good enough, and darn it, people like you.

No go get 'em little tiger!