Choi Hongman and his little buddy

A cute story from Yahoo Korea. K-1 fighter Choi Hong-man has recently moved in with his best of all bestest friends, actor Kim Jeong-wook.

Photo: Choi Hong Man (the one with the flaming red hair) and his little "B-buddy" Kim Jeong-wook (the one resting his arm ever so snuggly in Choi Hong Man's crotch).


김정욱의 요리솜씨의 푹 빠진 최홍만이 배고플 때면 김정욱에게 "엄마~"라고 부르며 음식을 해달라고 애교를 부린다는 것이다.

[When hungry, Choi Hong Man, who has completely fallen for Kim Jeong-wook's cooking, charmingly calls out, "Mommy" to Jeong-wook and asks for food. ]

Now isn't that just the cutest thing you've heard all day?

The people who live around the happy couple say that the relationship between the two seems like 'mother and daughter.'

Not father and son, not like two frat boy beer drinkin' buddies, but like mother and daughter.


Perhaps someone with more imagination than I can tell us just what two guys have to do exactly to come across as having a 'mother and daughter' type relationship. Mincing about arm in arm on their way to the beauty parlor? Spending the day shopping for clothes together? Having 찌찌봉 놀리 tease fights? (saw this kind of exchange between a Korean mother and her daughter on a Korean sitcom a while back, wondered if it was a common mother-daughter bonding ritual over here).


It's just a culture thing, right? Don't all the Korean guys we know have these kinds of relationships with each other?

Gender Genie and K-Bloggers

The newest weapon in the Gaywatch Korea Project's arsenal is the gender genie. This software, developed by linguists, can predict with 80% accuracy a person's gender simply by entering a sample of the person's writing (at least 500 words).

It should go without saying that the manhood of any male who scores "female" on this test is suspect. Now, I know, some of you PC brainwashed people out there will question this, but as I have clearly explained before the irrefutable logic behind this in my original Korean gaywatch post:

"... if a guy does anything like a girl , it means he
probably loves dick. That's just simple logic: Guy likes something that
usually only girls like, girls typically have sexual interest in male
penises, thus and ergo, that guy also likes penis (that is, a penis
other than his own, I mean, we all really love our own penises, there's
nothing gay about that)."

Some guy once made this claim that the above logic was "non-sequitur" or something like that. I'm not sure what that means, but I think any guy who uses French in an argument has just got to be gay.

So armed with this new technology, I decided to find out once and for all the true nature of my fellow bloggers here in Korea.

Prepare to be outted.

 

As a man of science, I feel in all fairness I must first apply this test on myself. My first choice was, naturally, to enter my "Gaywatch Korea" post. The results:

Female Score: 1308

    Male Score: 1664

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

   

Hmm, a little too close for comfort. I hurriedly entered the text of one my manly fiskings (usacrime) and got the following:

 

Female Score: 856

    Male Score: 1356

Though I'd prefer the score to reflect more accurately my true raging hetero manliness, I guess I can live with that score.

I wondered what results Konglish would get, so I entered the text of my freebase 21 post a while back.

The results:

Female Score: 688

    Male Score: 1503

   
   

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

   

Hmmm, Korea protestors with bad English are more male than I am? Despite quotes such as "Oh! see Jeong-son on the left with the pretty red manpurse? I am so envy!" and "Recognize the loveliness of our hats!!"?

Then I looked at the data realized that the word "this" was designated as a male word, and in the post I had all links to pictures titled "View this photo." I went through and deleted all of the links, and here is the new score:

Female Score: 688

    Male Score: 931

What a difference a word makes, huh? The male score dropped from 1503 to 931 just by taking out the link references. And yet nonetheless, the gender genie cannot be fooled.

Korbloggers on the hotseat

Next I turned my attention to the other members of the Korean blogging community who are nearly all white males between the ages of 25-40 (which, by the way, is also the general profile of serial killers in the US, but I digress).

Leone (or is it Simon?) from "Mincing with Myojung" was my first choice. Leone is out of the closet and doesn't hold back. If he gets a more manly score than I do, then I'm afraid to think of what that means. I put all of Leone's longer postings that are currently on his homepage (including the post on gay penguins), and here is what he scored:

Female Score: 646

    Male Score: 1168


   
   

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

   

What the fuck? Leone is more manly than I? This can't be!

Rather than question the irrefutable validity of my claims about the predictive power of the gender genie and its implications on sexual preference, I'm just going to dismiss this as an aberration and continue on as if it didn't happen at all.

 

Next on the hot seat is Big Hominid. I first entered one of his more recent religious posts. The score?

Female Score: 1230

    Male Score: 1270

   
   

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: (barely) male!

Fag.

Well, perhaps I rush to judgment too quickly. I ran an entry of Kevin's that was non-religious and got the following manly score:

Female Score: 791

    Male Score: 1046

Interesting. The same author gets radically different scores just based on the topic of his writing. This also confirms a hypothesis first proposed by one Andy Galanis, one of my former rocker dirt-bag friends from high school, who said, and I quote, "Religion is so gay." (I'm quoting from memory, I'm sure the word "dude" was in the original quote there somewhere)

Ok, Kevin, the Gaywatch project will let you off the hook this time, but I suggest you  write more posts about lusting after your co-workers just to reassure us all that you are properly manly.

I now turn my attention to Cathartidae, one of them American hating liberals. I entered the texts from most of his recent posts (there wasn't one post that was long enough), and here's his score:

Female Score: 706

    Male Score: 490

   
   

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: female!

   

Well, I see Arnold Schwarzenegger's quote about "girly men democrats" now has some empirical support.

But what does this make me? A closet Republican? I am so confusion...

But wait! Flying Yangban, a true Republican, got the following score on this post.

Female Score: 880

    Male Score: 402

   
   

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: female!

Oh dude, you're even gayer than a liberal! President Bush should officially return your vote. Lady Yangban will be crushed.

I think we have also clearly shown that political ideology has no effect on gender preference. Another false stereotype exposed by the party pooper!  This site continues to be a light unto the world, just as I had prophesized long ago.

[yeah, you heard me language nazi...]

Let us continue...
 

Other bloggers:

Marmot (I entered his post on "comment crackdown")

Female Score: 840

    Male Score: 1154

Clearly, Marmot still wears the pants in the K-blogger community.

Lost Nomad (post entered: "pop goes the kneecap")

Female Score: 673

    Male Score: 868

Hmm, that gap's a little too narrow methinks. I think Nomad's problem is that he's the only man in the family. Being surrounded by women will do that to you. Before you know it, you're helping out in the kitchen and watching Korean soap operas with the ladies. I suggest you spend less time with your family by drinking and fishing more.

Oranckay (hard to find a long post from the "link whore" of the K-blogger community, so I had to enter writings from several current posts on his homepage).

Female Score: 701

    Male Score: 1293

Appropriately manly, I must say. Confirms our earlier finding that you don't have to be conservative to be a true male.

About joel (several posts from his current front page)

Female Score: 489

    Male Score: 1227

Wow, the most manly of the lot thus far. Joel, your sheer overpowering masculinity just makes me tingly all over!

[now some may suspect my own heterosexuality from that last remark, but I just ran those two sentences through the gender genie and got this oh so manly score:

 Female Score: 0

    Male Score: 34

Ha!]

Blinger (who I think is still pouting because the automated webpage reviewer
clearly gave my website a more raving review than his. )

Female Score: 756

    Male Score: 1169

Not bad blinger, especially considering that you always write about education, which my old high-school friend Andy once called, "gay as hell."

But the award for the manliest of all manly men goes to Joshua over at Katolic Shinja
(two most recent postings analyzed)

Female Score: 491

    Male Score: 1782

Joshua, I hereby declare you the alpha male of the Korbloggers. We all tremble before your mighty manhood.

 

Comments on original blog post



Not pouting, just in denial.

Posted by: Blinger | May 21, 2005 at 07:12 PM

Religion isn't gay; it's happy.

Loved the outing. You'll have to run Thich Nhat Hanh's writings through the tester to see how gay a famous Zen Buddhist comes off.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | May 21, 2005 at 09:41 PM

I can do it myself, but you should include a few female Korea bloggers in your sample.

Posted by: kangmi | May 22, 2005 at 04:31 AM

Blinger: I told you, it's all in the URL length.

Kevin: To socially retarded adolescent misfits, anything happy is gay (it's like they've reverted back to the original meaning of the word in an ironic way, eh?).

Kangmi: Sorry, major oversight on my part. I put the contents of your latest posts into the gender genie and here is what came out:

Female Score: 515
Male Score: 835

Your secret is safe with us. ;)

Posted by: partypooper | May 22, 2005 at 06:13 AM

Yikes!

Posted by: kangmi | May 22, 2005 at 06:24 AM

Too late! I'm already helping out in the kitchen (minus the apron, of course - Mrs. Nomad won't share...).

LOL...

Posted by: Nomad | May 22, 2005 at 10:51 PM

My site has moved from blinger to EFL Geek (http://eflgeek.com) just incase anyone cares

Posted by: EFL Geek | May 23, 2005 at 10:17 PM

I did much better when I input text from my personal blog.

Still, it's a good thing I look like a girl.

Posted by: kangmi | May 24, 2005 at 04:50 PM

Blinger/EFL Geek: Updated the link. And now how might we address you? Mr. EFLgeek? Mr. EFLG? The artist formerly known as Blinger?

Kangmi-- It might be interesting to see what "male words" you tend to use. I suggest not using the word "this" anymore (it registers as a "male" word). When tempted to use the word "this," just substitute the phrase, "the object within my immediate proximity" instead, as in, "Would you like to use that pen or the pen which is within my immediate proximity?"

Very lady-like, don't you think?

Posted by: partypooper | May 25, 2005 at 05:20 AM

Yes, and I should avoid "something" in favor of "everything," "out" instead of "in," and "am" instead of "is."

It wouldn't be long until I was completely incomprehensible.

That would up my feminine quotient, wouldn't it?

Posted by: kangmi | May 25, 2005 at 07:34 AM

Scott,

all of the above? Actually one of my readers asked the exact same question in a comment. BTW, did you get my email about the KOrean blog? I haven't heard from you, so I'm guessing it ended up in your spam box. Basically register on my site, send me an email with your ID and then I'll change your permissions so you can post entries.

Posted by: EFL Geek | May 25, 2005 at 03:37 PM

I'm as gay as a goose but I'm a Male - Just!
Words: 537

Female Score: 915
Male Score: 1084

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!


Posted by: leone | May 26, 2005 at 07:23 AM

Thought of the day

In order to post more often, I've decided to do a daily 10 minute bloggering session. Everyone can find a spare 'just one 10 minutes' a day, right?

So, I hereby start my daily bloggering today.

Judging from my past history on my previous site, this most likely means you can expect about one blog post every 2-3 weeks.

OK, I've got a cozy 8 minutes left (it took me about 45 seconds to decide how to spell 'bloggering'. Damn, now I just second-guessed myself and it cost another 30 seconds. OK, now I just reread that last sentence and I'm wondering if 'second-guessed' is acceptable. I think it is.)

Right. Seven more minutes to go.


I found this picture on Daum today. Apparently after the conclusion of a professional volleyball game this team came back onto the floor with their cheerleaders and did a 'Tell Me' victory dance.

What the hell is wrong with men in Korea who spend time learning this kind of shit?

And who is the guy in the red shirt who seems to really be getting into it? It looks like he's from the opposing (and thus losing) team. Is he so giggidy giggidy gay that he just couldn't restrain himself from joining the opposing team for a dance? If his team just lost, maybe he should spend more time practicing his sport rather than learning little girly dances.

OK then.

Super Junior's Supper Happy Gay Video

Update:

Perhaps I was too quick to pronounce Dong Bang Shin Gi as the brightest flamers in the K-pop world. An alert reader made me aware of this you tube video. Watch it with someone you love.

Original Post

Since there doesn't seem to be much in the news these days over here in Korea, I thought it would be a good time to update my loyal viewers on the latest happenings in the Korean Pop world.

The new single from Super Junior that you all have been waiting for is finally out. It's called  행복. The obvious English translation for that word is 'happiness', but of all the English words that share that meaning, the word 'gay' might have been a better choice to capture all the major themes in the video.

This video (click here to see it) is great because it just shows the Super Juniors as real people, not some big shot egotistical music stars. Just like your normal Korean male teenagers, they wake up in the morning, put on their hot pink pants one leg at a time, spend several hours getting their hair primped  and their lipstick, eye-liner and rouge just right, go to the gym and play all sorts of giggly-fun games with each other and sneak in a little kiss on the cheek every now and then if they feel a bit saucy.  See here for more Super Junior fun.

Yeah, the kids are alright.

For those of you who read this blog who are not familiar with Korea, this is a very fair representation of the average male Korean teenager. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  Oh sure, they all wear their school uniforms in public, but when they get home they all head straight for their pink shirts and make up and take turns doing each other's hair. Every single one of them. No exceptions. Not one.

If by chance you think the Super Juniors have what it takes to replace Dong Bang Shin Gi as the Big Kahuna's of the Korean Gay Wave, I present this video from the Dong Bangers for your consideration. Warning: not work safe, nor is it particularly 'home safe' either (not the kind of video you want your family or friends to catch you watching).

The real entertainment begins when you read the comments below the clip and see their fans try to deny that there is anything gay about that video. Ah, got to love the cute little innocents.

A question for all of you to ponder. Why is that Asian girls get off on gay guy love while their western counterparts would vomit profusely if forced to watch these kinds of videos? What are the long term ramifications of a whole generation of young Asian girls attracted to boys who look more feminine than they do? Are these not questions that demand answers? 

Selected Comments from Previous Blog

Comments

Whackin' that gay hornet's nest again, I see.

Posted by: jag | July 27, 2007 at 04:50 AM

Ryan Seacrest just said "Holy shit that's gay!"

Posted by: iheartblueballs | July 29, 2007 at 02:29 AM

I wish SES made videos like that. I'd be all over Bada and Eugene touching each other and making goo-goo eyes at one another.

Posted by: Brian | July 30, 2007 at 01:51 AM

More Crudder! More Cru...oh wait. Wrong blog.

Posted by: Hugh | July 30, 2007 at 07:41 PM

Blueballs: Ryan Seacrest is not gay. It was Simon Cowell who sucked off Ryan, not the other way around, so stop with the slander.

PS. Get a blog already. I'm tired of having to scroll down for your comments over at Marmot's Hole. Otherwise, I'm considering cutting and pasting your comments over at Marmot's on to my blog and claiming them as my own.

Brian: Considering the levels of slutitude female Korean pop singers are already lowering themselves to, your wish may soon be granted.

Hugh: To be confused, even temporarily, with the great Ed Crudder is indeed an honor. The man is a model for all expats in Korea.

Posted by: partypooper | August 01, 2007 at 01:05 AM

I correctly predicted that the guy shaving would kiss the other guy and leave some shaving cream on his cheek. Do I get a prize?

Posted by: Brian | August 01, 2007 at 05:20 AM

That video is fag-tastic.

Bum-suk: "I'm going to shower"

So-hung: "You wanna me to wash your back?"

Bum-suk: "No, I wanna you to do a dirty sanchez, felch, teabag, and rusty trombone on me. Then we lucky pierre with Yu-suk."

Posted by: Yes, It's a Gigantic Panda | August 02, 2007 at 05:58 AM

Even the fat guy is gay-pretty now.

Posted by: Paul | August 02, 2007 at 08:49 AM

I often read your blog and am entertained by your hilarious exaagerations, but then I ran across this. You are not exaagerating one bit here nad it scares me.

Those guys do not qualify for penises. I want to find them and use a machete to do their transgender surgery. I would just be worried they would try to hit on me.

The danger of having an entire generation of girls grow up in love with guys gayer than them, is that they will enter college, realize that they want a real man and find someone outside of Asia. Sorry all you Korean men.

No wonder these male she-bands are so scared and try everything to get out of military duty. I can only imagine the ass-whipping they get from real men in the military. Imagine if one of these fags was your tae-kwon-do partner. You would bust him up.

I can only say amen to the commenter above who wrote: "I wish SES made videos like that. I'd be all over Bada and Eugene touching each other and making goo-goo eyes at one another." I loved SES before they broke up. This producer needs to get SES together and produce their videos again. I would go for a free hug from Eugene or Pada.

Posted by: Faggots Gather Here! | August 02, 2007 at 05:53 PM

"Imagine if one of these fags was your tae-kwon-do partner. You would bust him up."

Just so you know 2 members of Super Junior - Sungmin and Hankyung know martial arts. lol It'll be sad day when a gay man beats -your- ass.

Posted by: Huzzah | August 02, 2007 at 07:30 PM

OMFG !!!!
ARE YOU HUMANS ???
OH NO !!
YOU PEOPLE MUST
GO TO HELL !!!!
OMFG !!!!
ARE YOU HUMANS ???
OH NO !!
YOU PEOPLE MUST
GO TO HELL !!!!

[original comment repeats the same message about 50 times. That's just how angry little polly is]

Posted by: polly | August 03, 2007 at 05:06 AM

On a more serious note, I find this whole "jupki" gay-joke thing to be pretty offensive in light of the fact that if any one of those guys actually did come out and say he was gay the same fans who laugh and giggle at his gay-streak now would no doubt toss him aside like a bad piece of meat.

Just like Hong Suk-chon, it's OK to act gay for laughs... but hell comes down on anyone who actually is gay.

Posted by: Brian | August 03, 2007 at 06:06 PM

Polly, Polly, Polly. Although I'm not human (I'm a Giant Panda) I could still split you like cordwood and make you squeal for more. So don't swear at us if we make fun of fairy Korean guys with too much makeup.

Posted by: Ultra-Suave Panda | August 04, 2007 at 03:14 AM

I'm TVXQ and SuJu fan but I'm deeply amused with your writing :D ... Lol actually I'm one of the fan that ........really hopes that they're really gay ahahahaha~ XDDDDDDD

Please write more. Wanna see those immature fans react about this things... LOL

Posted by: Amused | August 07, 2007 at 08:32 AM

i think you have a death wish.

Posted by: sheesh | September 01, 2007 at 01:58 AM

First of all, Asia has a very different outlook on life than the West. They value delicacy and feminism in all genders. What is right and normal? It depends on the person who views it. Just because most people in America do not view it in the same way because of their upcoming does not mean this type of outlook is wrong. Is getting steroid-pumped muscles the right perspective? Why can't people respect each other's cultures? Why is there a need to force our opinions on others?

Posted by: Why? | September 04, 2007 at 06:11 PM

What you see in these videos is NOT how are Asian men and culture. These boy bands are simply gay. I don't know what's wrong with their fans that they can't see that.

Posted by: sentosa | September 05, 2007 at 09:41 PM

Don't you know? Gay guys are the new 'in' thing. Don't bash them just because they get more than you.

Posted by: lol | September 08, 2007 at 03:54 PM

These videos are parodies on their own fame. Artists like TVXQ and SuJu know how they're portrayed to the general public and play up to it because the fans like it.

Posted by: idek | September 08, 2007 at 04:00 PM

I am so glad I found this lol You are very very wise. That video was gay in so many ways...It seemed like the song didn't quite match up so I made this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I10GyYzawss

Posted by: Anrui | September 16, 2007 at 09:47 PM

Stop! Stop! You're making me horny........................

Posted by: Leone | October 02, 2007 at 02:02 PM

People, you're missing something extremely key here: these guys don't control their own images. They didn't form a band to express any kind of identity. They are treated like marketable products, trained and owned by their management companies. These groups are chosen when they are teenagers and their images are dictated to them by their management company, SM. Everything they do is overseen by their company, which is specifically packaging them for a female audience.

Now let's think of girls (and women) in Korea and the kinds of men they are used to seeing. Times may be changing, but there are still a lot of misogynist men in Korea. These "pretty boys" are the polar opposite of the militarized, soju-drinking, room-salon-frequenting men who spit all over the streets. Girls are drawn to them for this reason, and that is why SM portrays the boys this way. These guys may hate doing these things, for all we know. But they have no control over it. We need to recognize that their images may not reflect who they really are at all.

The DBSK video comes from a 1-hour drama in which part of the plot involves Jaejoong mistakenly thinking that Yunho likes him. Jaejoong freaks out every time Yunho touches him. And of course the writers put in lots of moments of them touching each other partly because it's funny to watch Jaejoong squirm and partly because the fans go crazy over it. At the end of the drama, it turns out that it's all a misunderstanding and everyone is straight. But this means that the fans get to watch the boys touch each other for an hour. It's called fanservice. So this video doesn't indicate anything about whether there are gay people in Korea. (Although I'm sure there are gay guys who enjoy it.) These boy bands are marketed to girls, so if it says anything, it is about what SM thinks will attract girls. And it seems to be working.

Now, about the difference between Asian girls' attraction to this gay image and Western girls' repulsion to it, I think it's because of the idea (from Japanese manga) that gay relationships are more "pure" because they are loving each other despite societal pressures, not because of them. Whereas in the West (and I think in actual Japanese gay culture), gay culture has developed to be overtly sexual, these portrayals of male-male relationships, which are marketed to women, focus more on love. That's a big difference from common Western portrayals of gay men.

Don't quote me on this; I'm not an expert yet. But this is my perception given what I know so far.

Posted by: huncamunca | November 19, 2007 at 09:40 PM

^ Yes, it's called "fan service" in short. The idea is that some gay time on screen gets the girls to go crazy, and it ought to be familiar to those who watch stuff like anime.

DBSK aren't gay. Some of them, in truth, are more muscular, and taller too, than the average expat calling them flamers.

Posted by: bluesblue | November 20, 2007 at 10:26 AM

So if being tall and muscular can be seen as evidence that a band isn't flamingly gay, then where does that leave the Village People?

Posted by: fanservice | November 20, 2007 at 12:30 PM

I'm a little upset about the insinuated gay-bashing present throughout both the youtube comments of the videos and in this discussion. What's wrong with acting gay? Or being gay? It doesn't make you any less of a man. And acting like a girl doesn't equal being gay. And being gay doesn't mean it's all about sex. I'm gay and I love emotional gay love stories.

I echo what Brian had to say, the real sad thing is that it's alright to pretend to be gay but not to be really gay. Thankfully those attitudes are changing though.

Posted by: Terhi | December 27, 2007 at 03:53 AM

Super Junior's Super Gay Video

Update:

Perhaps I was too quick to pronounce Dong Bang Shin Gi as the brightest flamers in the K-pop world. An alert reader made me aware of this you tube video. Watch it with someone you love.

Original Post

Since there doesn't seem to be much in the news these days over here in Korea, I thought it would be a good time to update my loyal viewers on the latest happenings in the Korean Pop world.

The new single from Super Junior that you all have been waiting for is finally out. It's called 행복. The obvious English translation for that word is 'happiness', but of all the English words that share that meaning, the word 'gay' might have been a better choice to capture all the major themes in the video.

Girlsdayout

This video (click here to see it) is great because it just shows the Super Juniors as real people, not some big shot egotistical music stars. Just like your normal Korean male teenagers, they wake up in the morning, put on their hot pink pants one leg at a time, spend several hours getting their hair primped and their lipstick, eye-liner and rouge just right, go to the gym and play all sorts of giggly-fun games with each other and sneak in a little kiss on the cheek every now and then if they feel a bit saucy. See here for more Super Junior fun.

Yeah, the kids are alright.

For those of you who read this blog who are not familiar with Korea, this is a very fair representation of the average male Korean teenager. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Oh sure, they all wear their school uniforms in public, but when they get home they all head straight for their pink shirts and make up and take turns doing each other's hair. Every single one of them. No exceptions. Not one.

LuvyduvyIf by chance you think the Super Juniors have what it takes to replace Dong Bang Shin Gi as the Big Kahuna's of the Korean Gay Wave, I present this video from the Dong Bangers for your consideration. Warning: not work safe, nor is it particularly 'home safe' either (not the kind of video you want your family or friends to catch you watching).

The real entertainment begins when you read the comments below the clip and see their fans try to deny that there is anything gay about that video. Ah, got to love the cute little innocents.

A question for all of you to ponder. Why is that Asian girls get off on gay guy love while their western counterparts would vomit profusely if forced to watch these kinds of videos? What are the long term ramifications of a whole generation of young Asian girls attracted to boys who look more feminine than they do? Are these not questions that demand answers?

Rain US Tour Cancelled

A bit of mysterious trouble for our favorite 'World Star' Rain. Several weeks ago his Honolulu concert was canceled just a few days before scheduled date. Rain didn't show up to a press meeting, which ended up being used by his promoters to announce that the concert was off. No reason was given for the cancellation and ticket holders were told they could get refunds for their tickets.

The final sentence in that article:

Promoters would not say how many tickets were sold. The venue would have been set up to hold a crowd of 20,000 to 25,000.

Oh what a mystery! The concert is abruptly canceled without any reason
and promoters are not willing to say how many tickets were sold. Local promoters have apparently filed a lawsuit.

A Rain concert in Toronto which was to be held a few months ago was also canceled, and promoters were unable to give refunds. This is from the first link above:

Jay
Lee, South Korean representative for the promoter of a Toronto concert
that was also canceled, said at the press conference that he has not
been able to refund money to Canadian ticket-buyers, since he has not
yet been reimbursed for his $250,000 deposit.

"And it's been 40 days since the cancellation," said Lee.

Translation: You've all been screwed. Thanks for participating in the Korean Wave.

And why was the Toronto show canceled so suddenly? Apparently there was no official explanation given. Five minutes of intensive Internet searching didn't come up with any solid information, but I did stumble on a blog which claims that Rain canceled the show because the stage was too small. I guess they didn't figure this out until after the venue had been booked and tickets were sold. That could happen...I guess...

The San Francisco, New York and Atlanta concerts were canceled because they faced a copyright challenge in Nevada (There is another band in the States called Rain). However, that was thrown out of court last month and there isn't any word on rescheduling those concerts.

And now the LA concert has been canceled as well just a few days before the scheduled event. The reason this time?

The Saturday night show at the Staples Center
was called off "due to issues related to the show's production,"
according to a statement from Rain's promoter, V2B Global, posted on
the Staples Center Web site.

'Issues related to the show's production'...what could that possibly mean? Why so vague?

So basically the entire North American tour has been canceled for various excuses reasons.

Hey, and didn't Rain's manager just quit suddenly about a month ago without giving any specific reasons?  Hmmm.......

That's just a bit too much coincidence. I've come up with several theories that could possibly explain this strange series of events.

A. Rain's management is profoundly incompetent.

B. 'World Star' Rain isn't even popular enough among Asian-Americans to sell enough tickets to have a concert outside of Asia. 

C. Rain injured his wrist in a jogging accident several months ago, but will be back to his full strength sometime...soon...

D. This is all a part of a greater conspiracy to keep the Korean super-mega star down.

I don't even have to check the Naver discussion boards for this, the answer is clearly D. What would happen to the North American music industry if it got out that there is an Asian singer who can imitate such legendary acts as Justin Timberlake and Usher? How could the West handle the painful truth that no matter what kinds of acts we produce, 1-3 years later Asians can come up with their own version that is kind of almost as good (sort of)?

Comments from previous blog


Comments

Hey! You wouldn't make fun of Bi if he was an American performer like Carrot Top or Wayne Newton, you racist! You ex-pat ESL burger flippers are just jealous of Bi's talents! Like wearing one glove and walking backward! Name one U.S. performer who ever did that!

Posted by: Pawi Komerican Super Han Man | July 02, 2007 at 10:20 PM

I wore one glove and walked backward many times. But I'm not going to tell you my name, because you might be a stalker.

Posted by: One U.S. Performer | July 03, 2007 at 12:52 AM

"Hey! You wouldn't make fun of Bi if he was an American performer like Carrot Top or Wayne Newton, you racist! You ex-pat ESL burger flippers are just jealous of Bi's talents! Like wearing one glove and walking backward! Name one U.S. performer who ever did that!"

LMAO!

Posted by: littlebrownasian | July 04, 2007 at 04:29 AM

Toronto promoter's statement of how they got ripped is here, Hawaii tells a similar story:
http://rainscoming.ca

In L.A. the concert was actually canceled just before show time with fans waiting outside the Staples Center.
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-rain3jul03,1,317437.story?ctrack=3&cset=true

Lots of good reading here in the comments section:
http://popseoul.com/2007/07/01/rains-la-concert-cancelled/

Posted by: rainedout | July 05, 2007 at 03:34 PM

I live in Hawaii (leeward Oahu) and the local talk radio station covered this for a few minutes, er seconds. According to the station (AM830) only about 1,500 to 2,000 tickets were sold. Not sure how many were the $300 (for crying out loud!) variety.

Posted by: Matt | July 07, 2007 at 09:48 PM

I sat next to a guy on the plan last week who was one of the guys who picked Rain up from the airport in Los Angeles and had something to do with his entourage.
The fans were told that he was sick. Truth was that the venue was less than half sold-out, and he didn't want to perform to a small audience.

Posted by: joe | July 09, 2007 at 03:49 AM

The fans were told the L.A. Fire Marshal or some inspector shut down the show at the Staples Center because some of his stage equipment wasn't certified under U.S. safety standards.

Basically Rain's tour promoters from Korea have been running this schtick on the North American tour of getting paid the fee from the local promoters, then right before the concert they complain that the local promoters' are not doing an adequate job of getting the staging just right etc. Then they cancel out and refuse to refund the fee to the local promoter.

Posted by: rainedout | July 09, 2007 at 01:14 PM

Sweet. Bi will remain the thousands of miles away from me the way he should be.

Posted by: Angel Wings | July 09, 2007 at 04:57 PM

Carrot Top, Wayne Newton, and Rain: the Bi-list.

Posted by: Brat | July 12, 2007 at 07:54 AM

haha.
people remember,
just becuz you dont like them doesnt mean asia doesnt like him.
if you hate him so much then stop reading about him.
sheesh.

Posted by: park hae man | May 01, 2008 at 10:09 AM

FUCK RAIN! i bought 3 tickets for the toronto show, and its been more than a year now, i still havent got my money back!! he is nothing but a son of a bitch that robs money! i want my money back, my money doesnt fall outta the sky! fuck him!

Posted by: k | May 20, 2008 at 10:16 PM

I didn't get my refund back either! I'm so mad! And I cannot find the promoters anywhere. I'm sure they are lurking around somewhere in Toronto. They totally ditched their office and the site is down too. I would never buy from these promoters or from Rain again! It may not be his fault but I'm sure he should know how bad the concert management has been.

Posted by: A | June 01, 2008 at 09:19 AM

K-netizen Come-uppance

In the previous post I discussed the ongoing Time Magazine Internet Poll allowing people to vote their choice for the 'most influential person of the year.'

Predictably, the Korean Netizens responded to such polls they way they always do and Rain zoomed to the top. With the poll still open, the Korean media jumped on the story to see to it that all good citizens rallied for this noble cause.  'Is Rain more famous than Bill Gates?' the good reporters ask. 'The World Recognizes Rain's Global Stardom' was the headline of this morning's 'Focus' paper (one of those free papers they give out on the subways).

Barf bag, please.

However, the story took a turn when Thailand citizens realized their own good king Bhumibal was in the running and they responded with their own Internet ballot box-stuffing campaign and soon Bhumibal was atop the poll (that's about where my updates stopped in the previous post).

The Korean netizens, refusing to be beaten at their own game, realized that the only way to kill the king's popularity and put Rain back on top was to bombard Bhumibal with low ratings. Soon his average rating plummeted from 91 to the low 80s, a feat which must have taken 10s of thousands of voters to accomplish.

However, when the Thais realized what the Korean netizens were doing they returned the favor and sent Rain down to 23rd place (below Bill Gates, by the by, and George Bush for that matter). Enraged, even more Koreans plagued Bhumibal with low ratings and now His Majesty sits at about 50th place.

And so both seem fucked at this point. There is justice sometimes in cyberspace.

We all owe the Thai people a enormous debt of gratitude  for saving us from what surely would have been another onslaught of 'Gee, ain't we grand?' reporting from the Korean media which thrives on these farces.

But mayhaps I  am being premature in thinking the K-netizens so easily defeated? If they organize even greater numbers and get EVERYONE'S ratings in the low 70's, then their man (for lack of a better of word) is back in the running!  Sounds difficult, but an entire nation's sense of self-worth is on the line here, is it not?

'Backlash' seems to be a popular word lately. I think the antics of the Korean netizens and media are starting to get well known throughout Asia and perhaps even beyond and not in the way they'd like. The Thais will probably not take kindly to their King being trashed online and realize that with Korea it's all 'Please love us but we don't give a shit about you' (which, as we all know, is something only America has the right to demand). Don't be surprised if events like this leads to an even bigger decline in the 'Korean wave' than there was last year.

Update

Never underestimate the power of the K-netizens. They've managed to get Rain back up to #11 by systematically bombarding the person in the next higher ranking with low ratings while continuing to try to push Rain's rating higher (getting a few hundred votes every minute, according to my half-assed calculations). American Idol clown Sanjaya is the latest victim, suddenly getting about a hundred votes per minute while all other candidates ranked ahead and behind are just getting a few. Scary to think of how many Netizens have given up their evenings for this matter of national honor.

Comments on original post

Hey, Koreans can't earn their self-esteem so they fake it, just like "Pi" has no talent so they run his voice through a computer and slap makeup on the girlieman and teach him a couple basic Michael Jackson moves from 25 years ago, and they have a "star."

Posted by: Ultimate Iguana | April 25, 2007 at 05:43 PM

Sanjaya vs. Rain. How ironic.

Posted by: SomeguyinKorea | April 25, 2007 at 05:44 PM

Hi Poops
Have you heard of this blog 'tagging' lark? I've just 'tagged' you - pop over to my place if you're interested.

Have a great weekend!

Leone xx

Posted by: Leone | April 27, 2007 at 07:32 AM

Wow - Rain is #3 now!

Posted by: Jenn | April 28, 2007 at 04:11 AM

The whole story is pretty sad... I've always hated this kind of polls.
But you don't have to thanks Thai people. Colbert's supporters worked with their VoteBots to decrease Rain's position and, of course, increase Colbert's. You can see it yourself in ColbertNation forum.

btw... who is that Colbert guy?

Posted by: m | April 28, 2007 at 10:38 PM

The Digital Assclown Brigade (Korean division) has pushed Rain to #1 as of 2 May. Let the cultural masturbation--oh...sorry...um..."We're Number 1" articles begin!

Posted by: Kkachi | May 02, 2007 at 02:16 AM

Rain doesn't have full eyebrows

Posted by: hardyandtiny | May 02, 2007 at 05:06 AM

Rain says he's not even included in the final list, because he was only invited as an alumnus and not as an awardee.

Anyway, it wasn't just Korea voting, it was the whole of Rain's fanbase voting a hundred thousand times a day. I'm talking large-scale here: Hong Kong, Singapore, USA, Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia. It's all over the comments page; only a small percentage of those who participate in this ridiculous poll is from Korea, mostly are from all over the world. Quite pathetic, yes, but these boppers have so much time in their hands they don't know what to do with it.

Time should have never introduced the poll in the first place. Fans go crazy when they think their idols have to be number one. Rain's fans are scarier. It's amazing how they can all unite from different places to get him to the top. And although there could be cheating involved (ie rating other people 0), fans of other candidates undoubtedly did it to the others in the list at one time or another.

And by the way, Korea is not the only one saying 'Rain Number One' here. Articles of Miyamoto in the top 5 also run out and about in Japanese newspapers. Steve Jobs leading the race was also featured in a business magazine.

Posted by: Mister | May 02, 2007 at 05:24 AM

I hear that this rain guy is "bi". whatever. anyway, I hope rain gets top votes for everything. Dumb koreans.

Posted by: NorhKorean | May 04, 2007 at 05:27 AM

It's all pretty funny. Rain, the worlds #1 most influential person. Haha.. btw man, you dont need an apostrophe when you write "10s" or "Thais". It really killed your article for me. ^^

Posted by: Qinella | May 05, 2007 at 11:37 AM

The offending little monster's we're taken out. Thank's for the head's up. And rest assured, no error's in you're comment had any adverse affects on me.

Posted by: partypooper | May 06, 2007 at 04:22 AM

Hey guys, leave Ji-Hoon alone will you! I'd just like to bend him over and roger him senseless and what's wrong with that? He's got that kind of talent........

Posted by: Leone | May 06, 2007 at 05:50 AM

I love how it says his albums have "topped the charts in Japan" when they struggle even to make it into the top 20

Posted by: Angel Wings | May 06, 2007 at 08:29 AM

Dong Bang Shin Gi: Gay Asia Rising

Update 3
Finally moved this post over to the new blog. It finished with 730 comments on the original site, every one a winner.

I'm a winner too.

Update 2: Happy 300!

This post has now amassed over 300 comments, a record for expat blogs in Korea!

All recognize my power to infuriate hordes of 10-year-old Asian girls!

Photo: A still from the epic movie 300 to comemorate the new milestone for this humble post.  I chose this photo because it matches the general theme of the post (and is reportedly what Hero from Dong Bang Sin Gi uses for his computer desktop wallpaper, replacing his former picture of Ricky Martin).

I deeply apologize for not responding to all of the comments. I hope that not for even one moment do any of you commenters think that I might not be reading your comments, especially the long ones that must have taken you a long time to compose. I most certainly do read all of them. I print them out and thoughtfully consider each and every word you write, regardless of how hideously misspelled each may be. Please don't think that in any way you are just wasting your time.

So keep those comments coming! If this post doesn't reach 400 comments and soon, I'll begin to doubt your true love for this fine group of pseudo-performers!

In the meantime, here's a youtube video of the Dong Seong Bang Shin Gi 'boys' which might in some remote way be applicable to this post.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Update: Happy 200!

Just a quick shout out and big thanks to all who helped this post reach the 200 comment milestone. The last time I googled Dong Bang Shin Gi, the post was listed 6th! With a little luck (and few hundred more angry pre-teens who go completely apeshit when some random stranger on the Internet jokes about their idols), it will soon be the first site that pops up when anyone is curious to learn more about the Pride of Korea which is Dong Bang Shin Gi.

Fighting!

 

Original Post:

Cathartidae somehow finds the worst of the worst as far as Korean femboybands go. This is Dong Bang Shin Gi, the current Big Kahuna's of the Korean Gay Wave that Korea would probably be better off having the West NOT know about.

Dong Bang Shin Gi, by the way, translates into 'Gods (in pink tutus and bunny rabbit outfits) Rising in the East.'

Although not as consistently ridiculous as the above video, this one here hits gay factor 9.5 when it shows the 'boys' around a dining table near the beach doing 'love shots' and feeding each other cake (near the end of the song). This is probably the first song in the history of pop that is filmed on a beach without a single hot babe in a bikini. The world just doesn't make sense anymore...

As far as the sexual orientation of these guys, far be it from me to rush to any conclusions, as you all well know by now. I'll just leave you with some selections from a posting on one of their fan sites and let you come to your conclusions.

22 facts about DBSK Members

 

3.Changmin is a crybaby (he is)

4.a lady threw a bad finger at Yunho and he cried backstage (aww >.< don't cry!!)

6.they watch korean dramas when they can/have tym  

16.hero is the "mom" because he knows how to cook

18.Hero
and Xiah share in one bed and Micky and Max share in one bed too,
u-know gets his own bed not because he's the oldest but because he won [lost?] a game of rock paper siscors!! [What, one of the most popular bands in Korea and they can't afford more than 3 beds in their little luv shack? Right...]
19.a fan broke in to DBSG's apartment and stole changmin's USED underwear [of course, it could have been Hero, see next]

21.Hero
stole Changmin's first kiss, he was waking changmin up but Changmin
didn't wanna get up so he kissed him, Changmin cried after that.

 

Credit. AsianFanatics Forum

   

Bleh...

Note: Comments are certainly welcome and encouraged, but note that ever so occasionally some are slightly edited for language and entertainment value.

[610 comments on original posting--too many to post here. Rest assured that they were profoundly entertaining. Perhaps someday I'll include the best of the best]

Bae Yong Jun: Cry for me

In Chosunilbo you can read an article about how South Koreans ignore LINK protestors trying to raise awareness about the plight of their brothers to the North, but if you want some true trajedy then go here:

Bae Yong-joon Laments the Price of Fame

Look at that pained expression. Oh why is life so hard for our little Yonsama?

"The interviewer says it looks as if Bae is unable to enjoy any
semblance of a normal life. "There can be nothing like that for me,"
the star replies. "The house, the office, the gym: my sphere of
activity is pretty limited. There's a coffee shop at a hotel that our
company manages, but even there I have to go in through the back door."
He admits to despairing sometimes when he thinks that this is how he
has to live the rest of his life."

My recommendation to Mr. Bae is to move to the United States where he can easily find the sweet oblivion that he so desperately desires. And also allow me to extend this invitation to International Mega-Superstar 'Rain' as well. If you ever want to go somewhere where no one knows nor cares who the hell you are, your own American Dream awaits you.

Speaking of the 'crying game,' transgender Ha Ri Su has made public the identity of her boyfriend.
Here is the lucky guy right here, Woo Seung-woo.

Woo-woo, mad props for being open-minded enough to date a transgender and having the courage to come public. You're more of a man than I could ever be (so to speak).

If the newest ads by Lee Joongi do not cause violent retching, perhaps you should consider getting some help.

They say that Joongi/junki/whatever is going to take on a more 'manly' role in his next acting effort. Good idea. I say he should get a fake girlfriend while he's at it. Joongi, your 15 minutes are about up on this whole girly-boy thing and though your gender-confused budding-lesbian fan-base may hold steady, I think you'll find the rest of Korean society is already getting bored (if not physically ill) with this whole 'aren't I just the cutest little princess?' act.

And finally, from an anonymous COF member I received a link to this photo.
It's a picture of the Korean soccer team in training. It seems that they were having a split-squad relay race and this is the winning team.

Question 1:
When having split-squad relay races, is it a requirement to form a 'love train' formation while watching other members race?

Question 2: In soccer, is it an acceptable act of celebration to reach around another player and grab his crotch? Or is this just a Korean guy thing?

Question 3: When another guy does grab your crotch, do you have to enjoy it as much as Kim Dong-jin (front-left) seems to be? Or is it just sports etiquette to refrain from the natural impulse to elbow the pepper-picker in the gut?

Comments on original post



The public wrap around is just too much. Have you seen The Yangpas take on Korean Gaydar (http://theyangpa.wordpress.com/2006/06/01/korean-gaydar-technology-lags-behind-international-standards/). It's pretty funny, but not nearly as good as your posts.

hmm.. no html on your comments.

Posted by: EFL Geek | June 01, 2006 at 04:17 PM

Allow me if I may to address each of these topics.

Photo 1. Yonsama is obviously despairing that his lipstick has dried up.

Photo 2. Which one is Harisu?

Photo 3. Word on the street is that Junki's "manlier" role will be the part of Harisu in the Harisu epic biography.

Photo 4. Use of the hands is apparently okay in soccer as long as you don't touch the ball(s).

Posted by: Iceberg | June 02, 2006 at 01:22 AM

Nice. Thank ya!

Posted by: Hugh | June 02, 2006 at 09:52 AM

Now those Korean footie boys are hot! I hope you don't mind Scott but I've reproduced it with credits of course!

Posted by: Leone | June 02, 2006 at 07:44 PM

Yeah baby, this is what I'm talking about. You really need to quit your day job so you can blog more. Or, do what countless other bloggers do and blog from work.

Posted by: Nomad | June 02, 2006 at 10:00 PM

Grabbing the crotch? I think it's just a Korean guy thing.

Posted by: yankabroad | June 03, 2006 at 07:08 PM

My god, that new Lee Jun-gi is just horrible. Truely retch-enducing.

The celebrity "woe is me" piece is a common tactic designed to engender a stronger sense of devotion among the fans. Reading about the sacrifices their favorite star has to make, the fans feel a stronger obligation to support their idol.

Of course, as you said, if he is really tired of the attention he can always just move to North Dakota and slip quietly into society there. But really... his management agency just isn't having that.

Posted by: Brian | June 07, 2006 at 09:24 PM

in english please..

Posted by: Joe brown | June 16, 2006 at 09:57 PM

"In soccer, is it an acceptable act of celebration to reach around another player and grab his crotch?" Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Sicko.

Posted by: Christine | June 17, 2006 at 06:29 PM

do you REALLY have nothing better to do than write all this crap?

Posted by: Yvonne | August 08, 2006 at 05:19 PM

Yvonne, this isn't the Chosun Ilbo or the daily news. It's a blog. If you can't take the heat, get out of the pan.

Posted by: littlebrownasian | August 08, 2006 at 05:37 PM

The Korean Gay Wave

The Korean GayWave is set to once again thrust itself upon Taiwan's shores. Happy them.

While 'Rain' may be the 'Justin Timberlake of Korea,' Kangta and Taiwanese singer 'Vanness' have joined forces to become the 'Ambiguously Gay Duo of Asia.'  Sure, Korean pop music may be a low quality imitation of western pop music, but they are definitely the vangaurd of homoerotic music and have obviously influenced/warped the Taiwan music industry.

'K-pop' and 'Gay-pop', just the difference of an aspirated consonant. Coincidence?

And next we have Korea's sweetheart Lee Jun-gi visiting Taiwan to promote his hit movie, The King and the (butt)Clown.

Some may wonder why hordes of middle school girls go
goo-goo for (presumably) male actors and singers who are nearly indistinguishable from women, but you have to understand
that at that age, young girls find the idea of actual men with penises quite
threatening. I say again, let's try to understand them, people, not judge.

Hat tip to a certain former Korean blogging deity (IA) who notified the Gaywatch Project of this recent activity. Kevin, if by chance you have some of your old blog entries on file somewhere, be a pal and let one of us bloggers post and store them for posterity. Let's do it for the children.

(shitload of) comments from original post (please read them all)



One day I watching Happy Ass TV and see picure Lee Junki. So joy that time! I screan "ASS TV NUBER ONE CHANEL" at TV and odl relative look me a nd say "WHY YOU DO" ha ha I don't explain raletive so she very angry me ^^

Posted by: Kevin Kim | May 04, 2006 at 09:42 AM

So funny!!

Posted by: Jenn | May 04, 2006 at 09:14 PM

IA @ Web Archive: http://web.archive.org/web/20040609051404/http://incestuousamplification.blog-city.com/

Posted by: SDCarroll | May 05, 2006 at 01:41 AM

Leave me and my butt alone!

Posted by: Lee Jun-gi | May 09, 2006 at 05:47 AM

Maybe we should help Korea to prolong their denial of homosexuality on the peninsula by introducing them straight to Metro-sexuality and skip the Homosexuality phase.

Posted by: Tom Thumb | June 03, 2006 at 09:23 AM

no affence or anything but theres more gay people in Europe and ESPECIALLY australia than asian countries or Korea in that fact so i think we should help the Australians and europeans first..

Posted by: Joe | June 04, 2006 at 12:02 AM

no affence or anything but theres more gay people in Europe and ESPECIALLY australia than asian countries or Korea in that fact so i think we should help the Australians and europeans first..

Posted by: Joe | June 04, 2006 at 12:02 AM

are you saying that Kangta and Vaness or something are gay cause they are both men in a group..think about D12 or sumshit, that has 6 members..woO! they must be REALLY gay! haha

Posted by: Joe | June 04, 2006 at 12:21 AM

are you saying that Kangta and Vaness or something are gay cause they are both men in a group..think about D12 or sumshit, that has 6 members..woO! they must be REALLY gay! haha

Posted by: Joe | June 04, 2006 at 12:21 AM

Like talking to the wall.

Posted by: Iceberg | June 04, 2006 at 05:21 AM

gees nothing to get pissd about@_@

Posted by: Joe | June 05, 2006 at 02:21 AM

i Just wanna help the gay europeans..thats a good thing

Posted by: Joe | June 05, 2006 at 02:22 AM

I like how you say: "I say again, let's try to understand them, people, not judge." and yet you're obviously judging.

You're obviously a smart one.

Posted by: Hannah | June 16, 2006 at 02:19 PM

Dude.... I know these posts are jokes and all but some people look at it at a literal level....
To me ur like an ignorant asshole
Start talking real and get to the main issues
If you are a teenager, start growing up...
If you are a Middle aged man, then go get a job or something...
If you are a old man, then go get a coffin or something and lay down until you die...

and to the commenters who support this man/woman
I suggest you guys should get a life tooo...

And i guess you guys are thinking..
Then you dont have a life for reading this post
Well im a teenager arent i?
and its summer...

And btw
i bet your going to try to comeback with a witty remark

Posted by: Yeah | June 16, 2006 at 06:37 PM

Wow, and to think I actually thought that you couldn't get ANY dumber. Stupid me, right? So what, is there like some kind of law that if two guys make ONE CD together, they're automatically gay? Think about how ridiculous that sounds. It might not be ridiculous to YOU because an evident IDIOT like you probably ONLY says ridiculous things. But to the rest of the world, it's just plain dumb. Give it up. It's not worth acting like an idiot. And also, that Lee Junki thing, Korea's sweetheart and "The King and the (butt) Clown"? SO HILARIOUS. Watch me die of laughter real quick.
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-, no. That wasn't funny. That, was also dumb. For your information, it's not only middle school girls who like Lee Junki. And whether or not he has a penis, HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW? What, did you like wait outside his dressing room and then look down his pants? If EVERY Korean male was gay, then I wonder how Korean males get married to WOMEN. Ever think about that, genius? Korean Gaywatch.. Haha, the work of an original comedian. NOT. Please, do the world a favor and get a life. Or suck a cock. Oh wait, you already probably do that in your spare time. But either way works.

Posted by: Christine | June 16, 2006 at 07:32 PM

Hi 'Yeah' Hanna, and Christine and all the other little middle-school Kyopos lucky enough to have found my site. I hope you have me bookmarked for your summer reading entertainment and education. Now that I realize I have such a wide, avid readership, I'll make more of an effort to post more.

And it is my hope that you try to keep in mind that just because most Korean entertainers marketed for the teenie-boppers are ridiculous embarrassments to the entire Asian world, it doesn't mean that you, as Kyopos, are bad people in any way. As Christine Aguilera says, you are beautiful in each and every way. Please don't forget that as you continue through these difficult identity-forming years.

Peace out

Posted by: partypooper | June 17, 2006 at 01:45 AM

how BORED are you?

in the end, whos the one out there being successful? whos the one making a lot of money? and whos the one getting all the boys? its the korean celebs ur talking shxt about u retard. theyr getting far out there in the entertanment busines while u sit here and try to make .001% of the history theyr making/about to mak. And yet, despite your unimportance, here I am obsessing on your site. What a world, huh?

whatever, keep doing ur thing if it makes u feel any better about urself. As for myself, I need to get back to school and work on my spelling and syntax.

Posted by: yina | June 17, 2006 at 10:40 AM

You need to get a fucking life. Do you think you're the shit or something, just because your bashing some gay Korean stars.

And, why the fuck do you even care? You aren't even Korean and if you aren't going to appreciate it, then just stick to your own fucking American culture.

Who the fuck are you to bash Ahn Jeong Hwan? Gay? Probably, but he is also married to Ms. Korea. Plus, you're just fucking mad that the U.S. soccer team sucks ass and that Korea got ranked higher in the last world cup, even though we got it unfairly. Shit, U.S. already lost their first fucking game this world cup (though they were quite impressive against Italy)

Also, that post about TVXQ that you posted on the year of 2004. That's untrue, because as a matter of fact they are one of the biggest boy bands in Korea, China, Japan, and so on. True, they are gay, but so much for not remembering them in the future.

And, you're a fucking embarrassment to fucking America. You're so fucking ignorant, stereotypical, and racist. And I'm not. Get a fucking life.

So, why won't you and all the other Gaywatchers, get a fucking life.

God, why can't I get you and this site out of mind? One guy makes some jokes about Korean singers and I just go nuts. It's like I'm obsessed or something...

Posted by: partypooper is gey | June 17, 2006 at 11:00 AM

Uh, yeah. Here's where you go wrong. For your FUCKING information, I'm not a MIDDLE SCHOOLER. Yeah. Take that and shove it. Thank you.

Posted by: Christine | June 17, 2006 at 06:25 PM

Wow, so many posters in need of a good, strong vaginal douche. Maybe Lysol will do the trick.

Posted by: Giant Panda | June 18, 2006 at 05:58 PM

haha did u like edit my comment or something? if not then haha even more. i didnt know i was skilled to sound like an ass like you. smart ass i mean. gotta give u the credit. what makes u think u have the right to criticize so much people? are u all that greater than them?

please help make the world a better place and go fall off a cliff & die. please&thankyou=)

Posted by: yina | June 18, 2006 at 07:39 PM

haha did u like edit my comment or something? if not then haha even more. i didnt know i was skilled to sound like an ass like you. smart ass i mean. gotta give u the credit. what makes u think u have the right to criticize so much people? are u all that greater than them?

please help make the world a better place and go fall off a cliff & die. please&thankyou=)

Posted by: yina | June 18, 2006 at 07:39 PM

can tell from your post you are just a jealous person who views beauty as a threat...

Posted by: TM | June 22, 2006 at 09:10 PM

And whether or not he has a penis, HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW? - Christine

Snicker, snicker, snicker. How the hell would you know indeed.

Posted by: Iceberg | June 23, 2006 at 12:52 AM

"How the HELL would you know if Lee Jun Ki has a pensi?" Well, that is a good questiosn with most Koreans, since you can't tell it apart from the other pubic hairs down there. So I guess the assumption is if you can't see it it ain't there.

Posted by: Lee Jun Ki has no penis | July 19, 2006 at 01:38 AM

Lifestyle Coach

It's not every day that you run across an article that literally (as opposed to figuratively?) changes your life. I found such an article in Korea Times, aptly titled "Flowers, Nature Make the Man."

This is an article on one Lee sang-il (affectionately known to others as 'Lee Sang-hae'), a hair stylist, interior designer and 'total lifestyle coach.'

Here's the first piece of advice from the total lifestyle coach:

'When a person is feeling down or lonely, I suggest that they touch and feel flowers.'

Now that's what I'm talking about. Don't just make time to stop and smell the roses, get some fondling time in as well. After I read that, I just knew Sang-il had something say that we all should listen to.

Here's a picture of Lee Sang-il kickin it with the very flowers that have made him the man he is today. According to his pool boy, Sang-il's wife was unavailable for the photo.

More about the man that nature and flowers hath wrought:

Lee’s childhood was in the small, country village
of Tangjin, South Chungchong Province: ``A place where there was only
one commuter bus a day.’’ But it is memories there _ gathering
shepherd’s purse and wild rocambles to put on the dinner table and
picking azaleas that were exchanged with lady-finger cookies with the
old man at the brewery _ that drives his creative side.

Gathering flowers for the dinner table, now that's one sure-fire way to make any dad proud. And that's a real sweet story about trading flowers for lady-finger cookies from an old man who works at a brewery.  Don't we all have fond (and/or blocked) memories of the old guy in the neighborhood we grew up in who used to give the little kids candy in return for various fun favors? You know, the kind of guy who had nicknames like "Mr Tickles" who always seemed to find time to hang out near elementary schools and parks? I bet Sang-il and the 'old brewery guy' used to play that cute little game where the old man would hide the sweets in various places on his person and Sang-il would have to go and find them.

An interesting choice of childhood memories to mention as a life-forming event, no?

Let us return to the words of wisdom and inspiration from our new lifestyle coach. 

``One should not be so fixed on having a formula
or a set theory in designing flowers,’’ Lee said. ``A formula can make
you rigid. Confidence is what you need, to go along with your
inspiration of the moment.’’

Truer words have never been spoken. How many of us, in our never-ending quest for the ultimate flower arrangement, have been needlessly bound to formulas and inhibiting traditions? It was just the other day that I was slaving over a classic tulip and dogwood arrangement, when the craziest thought occured to me: why not throw in some begonias just shake things up? But then, before I even dared to follow my whimsical muse, I discarded the notion as foolish and returned to the classic pattern. Every time I look at that arrangement now I can only wonder what might have been...

Perhaps, one would argue that it is easier for
Lee, as he is an artist/designer, to ignore the rules.

Too true. Just follow your own inspiration and whims when designing dining room flower arrangements for a Sunday brunch with friends, knowing that one mistake could spell disaster? Far easier said than done I'd say!

But ask anyone
with an iota of sincere interest in flower arrangement and they would
say the same thing: Go with what you feel.

Sigh....how can I argue with that? I know in my heart it is true. It's time for me to stand up to that big bully Fear and just follow my heart and not my head. I've been denying myself far too long. If I don't find my courage to arrange flowers as my heart and soul dictate, how can I ever become the man I know I can be?

Here are some random pics from Hancocks' Dafodil Catalogue (where you can make your own magical spring garden!).

Sang il is quite the total lifestyle coach, is he not? He can give guidance on everything from how to arrange your flowers to....hold on, let me read over the article again....ah yes, to how to arrange your flowers. Oh wait, Sang il also seems to have some good advice on how to spend your money:

He did not disclose a specific figure as to how
much money he spends in providing flower art in every corner of his
beauty parlor: ``I would say about 5 percent of what each customer pays
goes to these flowers.’’ His assistants gave a rough estimate of about
400,000 to 500,000 won per week.

400,000-500,000 won makes up 5% of his weekly take?  Pardon me while I step out of character and say,  Damn, that is one rich fruitcake. 

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

And honestly, if you had an extra 400,000-500,000 won (400-500 US dollars) a week to blow on anything you'd like, who here would NOT spend it all on flowers?

Comments on original post


thank you for celebrating this wonderful man.

Posted by: Paul | April 08, 2006 at 10:28 AM

Thanks, Poop. You know I've been feeling pretty down lately. I think I'll put on a mask and go outside to caress a flower. I might even go to the flower market by the bus terminal. I know I'll be okay now.

Posted by: wanderer | April 08, 2006 at 03:25 PM

What a great sounding 'pick me up' - all that pollen - runny nose, itchy eyes... Hayfever heaven!

Posted by: leone | April 08, 2006 at 08:36 PM

LOL--"lady-finger cookies"

I'll be they played "hide the pickle" too.

Posted by: Giant Panda | April 09, 2006 at 07:13 PM

Another post proving why we worship the Pooper.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | April 09, 2006 at 10:48 PM

"One should not be so fixed on having a formula or a set theory in designing flowers," Lee said. "A formula can make you rigid."

Hunh, hunh. He said "rigid"!

Posted by: Iceberg | April 10, 2006 at 10:44 PM

Classic, classic, classic.

Remind me next time NOT to read your blog while drinking coffee (or any other beverage). My keyboard and monitor can't take the abuse :)

Posted by: Nomad | April 10, 2006 at 11:46 PM

Hehehe Mr. Tickles. Bet there's more to Pepperoo day than just plain eating...

Posted by: littlebrownasian | April 11, 2006 at 01:16 AM

Looking at his picture I just got to ask this question. What the hell do you need chaps for to do flower arrangements?

Posted by: Curious | April 11, 2006 at 02:45 AM

"What the hell do you need chaps for to do flower arrangements?"

Hmmm...let me guess...titillation...*cough!*...I mean, inspiration?

Posted by: littlebrownasian | April 11, 2006 at 04:15 AM

Mun Hee Jun: You're in the army now

unThis year a large number of 'talents' are heading off to do their military service. Among them is Moon Hee Jun, one of my most popular posting subjects (especially among hordes of kyopo high school girls who long to have his freak love child).

Gangta, his former band member in the worst boy band in the history of the world, H.O.T. ('Highfive Of Teenager,' my vote for the most ridiculous band name of all time as well) is also going this year (he's the one with glasses in the picture you first thought was a girl). This is not a big problem, as his career has pretty much stopped anyway.

With a face like that, Gangta is sure to be the Belle of the ball for many a lonely soldier. Don't worry Gangta, according to the Code of Military service, what happens in the barrack showers after midnight, stays in the barracks.

Kim Jong-kook, on the far left, is in prime condition (the boy is ripped) and will at least adjust to the physical aspects of army life well enough, but these other pretty boys are in for a world of pain, especially our beloved She Hee-jun (though perhaps he lost 'pretty boy' status years ago).

Look at that face. I pray that his drill searjant hates these
types of pretty boy bands (like any guy who owns a pair should) and hammers this chubby little mama's boy into a man. Considering the hardships they put
soldiers through, maybe Hee Jun will come back a true 'fuck it all and
fucking no regrets' rocker.

But mayhaps I should watch my tongue. Here's a recent article in Korean that warns against insulting people over the Internet, especially famous ones, and possible legal actions that the defamed can pursue in light of new censorship laws. It later turns into a collection of sob stories about entertainers (Moon Hee Jun included) who have their feelings hurt by the nasty comments left by Netizens.

Boo-fucking-Hoo. If you don't want to have your feelings hurt, just don't read what Netizens are saying. Better yet, just disappear from the public's eye all together if you can't take what naturally comes with being in the spotlight. Celebrities with real talent rarely get ridiculing or bashing on a large scale anyway, it's just those who deserve to be knocked down a peg or two. What would the world be coming to if we were denied to bash freaks and whores like Micheal Jackson and Paris Hilton? IMHO, Korea needs MORE ridiculing of famous figures, not less. I'm talking double-fisting South Park style celebrity roasting. It's all a part of a healthy democracy.

To support my argument, here are some pictures of Hee Jun. Take a gander, and then tell me why people should NOT give him shit.

Oh Juney, you shouldn't have gone there, girlfriend. A definite fashion-first, though.

Hard to add any comment to make Hee Jun look any worse than how he already looks in this picture. No wonder he later 'rebelled' and tried for a hard rock image.

Approaching Michael Jackson-level freaky here.

A little gender confused, are we? Gangta does seem to like what he sees though. Add this picture to the Gaywatch files.

This is what Hee Jun looked like before the music industry got a hold of him. Add this case to their list of crimes against humanity.

It's not too late, Hee Jun. Come back to us.

I'm of two minds about Moon.

On one hand  he is a talentless dork (yes all you high school kyopo girls, he's a
dork) living off previous fame. He desperately tries to make a name for
himself as a 'serious' rocker by singing songs about 'real issues' like
the plight of Korean adoptees (as if Moon's ever even visited an
orphanage in Korea himself, let alone considered adopting) and racial
discrimination (his most recent video shows him being kicked out of a
bar in the States that has a big "Whites Only" sign on it. Yeah,
right.), but he's as much rock as Arron Carter is gangsta rap. Just one cheap gimmick after another.
 
On the other hand, Moon is such a
freak that you almost have to like him just for not being exactly like
the other 99% of the cloned entertainers in Korea. While all the other
H.O.T. members went on to put out the same predictable and safe shit,
Moon for some strange reason decided to try a combination of ballad and
hardcore rock (usually within the same song). I can't really get into
to it, but if I had the choice between listening to anything by the
usual Korean pop singers and Moon Hee Jun's songs (and if puncturing my ear drums were not an option) I would go with the Moon.

Comments on original post



Haha. Great post. The ROK army oughta create a special 'Mama Boy' Brigade and send 'em on special peacekeeping tours. What a great way to collectively reduce a nation's preceived toughness around the world.

Posted by: Sumi Yoshi | January 29, 2006 at 03:33 PM

You have too much time in your hands, stop hating people.

Posted by: JUN IS GOD. | January 30, 2006 at 09:57 PM

Geez,What an immature kids!

Posted by: gizmo23 | January 31, 2006 at 04:37 AM

I heard that most of the "celebrities" who do their time in the ROk army end up in Public Affair type units and do publicity crap anyway. That isn't the real army. And how many of these guys actually have notable careers after their army service anyway? I just hope he doesn't consider suicide. My girlfriend was in his last music video and said he was the quietest, most introverted person she had ever met. Those guys usually don't do so well at basic training.

Posted by: chris | February 07, 2006 at 06:48 PM

hello i just came here to drop bye and say wassup

Posted by: lise | March 01, 2006 at 12:00 PM

Been reading a few post from here. All I got to say is don't you have good things to say? All your post is most likely a recopy make-a-like USA celebrity GOSSIP. Then what the heck is your music style?

Posted by: Angelica | May 11, 2006 at 12:41 AM

Your jealousy runs deep. They got a life and you should get one too.

Posted by: K Vang | July 08, 2006 at 07:35 PM

The simple fact is...you're jealous that every Korean chick would fuck this celeb over you any day! Get a life dick head and go get fucked!

Posted by: T Vue | July 26, 2006 at 03:31 PM

this guy... changes people's comments if it "insults" him.. wonder if he insults others...

Posted by: bbf | July 27, 2006 at 11:09 PM

hey thats cool. i hope moon hee jun be famous again. and H.O.T. serioulsy thay have to come back.

Posted by: hee sung | December 12, 2006 at 10:36 AM

yea, wish H.O.T will come back

Posted by: Chris | January 12, 2007 at 04:18 PM

first of all, learn how to spell ppl's name before u go bashing them. some kinda english teacher u are!!

man, u are gonna get bashed by some HOT fans very soon!! have fun dying!!

Posted by: someone | March 04, 2007 at 03:31 PM

What's your problem?Sad you couldn't be an H.O.T. member I sure think so.Loser!

Posted by: Josephine | March 18, 2007 at 10:06 PM

i dont understand the thing up on the top. he said something about people. what was he talking about. i mostely payed attention about his history. is moon hee jun coming back?

Posted by: kee sung | March 19, 2007 at 10:14 AM

i dont understand the thing up on the top. he said something about people. what was he talking about. i mostely payed attention about his history. is moon hee jun coming back?

Posted by: kee sung | March 19, 2007 at 10:14 AM

Moon Hee Jun so cooool! I Like him because he so clever, and can do anything. I heard he joined military. I hope Gizmo (Hee Jun's nickname) can back to entertainment and singing again.

Posted by: nisa, 17 years old | August 31, 2007 at 10:11 PM

moon hee jun soo coool!I like him because he so cool and gentleman.

Posted by: nisa ,17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:15 PM

Moon Hee Jun is my idol, he so cool.

Posted by: nisa ,17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:16 PM

Moon Hee Jun so cool!I hope Hee Jun can back .

Posted by: nisa ,17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:22 PM

Moon Hee Jun so coool! I Like him because he is gentleman.

Posted by: nisa, 17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:24 PM

Moon Hee Jun so coool! I Like him because he is gentleman.

Posted by: nisa, 17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:25 PM

Moon Hee Jun so cool! I think he can singing again.

Posted by: nisa, 17 th | August 31, 2007 at 10:28 PM