Monthly quota half-assed post for May

First off, I wish to say that reports of the Party Pooper's demise have been greatly misexaggerated.

I've been quite busy with my usual nefarious scheming to undermine Korean society, just like all us other expats. Lately, those meddling kids at CALEE are making it harder and harder to operate. Not to worry though, we already have a very successful counterattack underway. Basically, just helping these kids get laid does wonders for getting them to spend less time obsessing over the sexual habits of foreigners.

Now just so no one gets the impression that the 16,000 members over at CALEE are simply racist and xenophobic, they do point out that they plan to "work on improving the bad images of foreigners, tarnished by a few illegal foreign nationals." Just visit their site and you can see all the various projects they have to do just that. I mean, I haven't actually found any, but I've only looked through 30 or so of their latest postings. I'm sure there were many before that.

Korea TV
I've posted on this topic before, but I have a few things to add. I often watch Korean TV in the morning while on the treadmill and catch Morning Wide (think Good Morning America, just with about 50% more fluff pieces). Every show I've seen has a segment on the Korean Wave and I guess this is just a regular segment right along with the daily traffic and weather reports (which do a very good job at keeping me posted on the daily temperatures of Dokdo, by the way). It's usually covering the latest Korean 'World Star' who makes a trip to Japan to promote a new CD or movie or simply go for some organized 'fan event.' They always start with the arrival in the airport, where literally dozens of Japanese fans are waiting to see them. The World Star is whisked away to the event where there are from 50 to several hundred homely Japanese women waiting to scream out 'oppa'.

Every time I see this, I always wonder why Koreans think this is so impressive. I've seen scholars that no one outside of their particular field has ever heard about visit Asian countries and get these kinds of draws (with better looking women on average at that). Is this really the best they can do? Donnie and Marie Osmond get better draws than that in Japan and I don't think you could find 200 people even in Utah who would take time out of their busy day to see them.

Seriously, I wouldn't be surprised at all if at least half of all the attendees in these publicity events are just Korean expats in Japan attending out of a sense of patriotic duty to the motherland.

World Star Rain
Of course, the World Star of all World Stars in Korea is Rain. With the release of Speed Racer, I went to the film reviews to get an indication of how well he came off in the movie. Most reviews do not even mention him, but I found one that did. I'll let you all go and find out for yourselves what the reviewer had to say (hint: to save time, go to the article and do a key word search on 'Rain' or the word 'catastrophic').

Super Junior's Super Gay Video

Update:

Perhaps I was too quick to pronounce Dong Bang Shin Gi as the brightest flamers in the K-pop world. An alert reader made me aware of this you tube video. Watch it with someone you love.

Original Post

Since there doesn't seem to be much in the news these days over here in Korea, I thought it would be a good time to update my loyal viewers on the latest happenings in the Korean Pop world.

The new single from Super Junior that you all have been waiting for is finally out. It's called 행복. The obvious English translation for that word is 'happiness', but of all the English words that share that meaning, the word 'gay' might have been a better choice to capture all the major themes in the video.

Girlsdayout

This video (click here to see it) is great because it just shows the Super Juniors as real people, not some big shot egotistical music stars. Just like your normal Korean male teenagers, they wake up in the morning, put on their hot pink pants one leg at a time, spend several hours getting their hair primped and their lipstick, eye-liner and rouge just right, go to the gym and play all sorts of giggly-fun games with each other and sneak in a little kiss on the cheek every now and then if they feel a bit saucy. See here for more Super Junior fun.

Yeah, the kids are alright.

For those of you who read this blog who are not familiar with Korea, this is a very fair representation of the average male Korean teenager. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Oh sure, they all wear their school uniforms in public, but when they get home they all head straight for their pink shirts and make up and take turns doing each other's hair. Every single one of them. No exceptions. Not one.

LuvyduvyIf by chance you think the Super Juniors have what it takes to replace Dong Bang Shin Gi as the Big Kahuna's of the Korean Gay Wave, I present this video from the Dong Bangers for your consideration. Warning: not work safe, nor is it particularly 'home safe' either (not the kind of video you want your family or friends to catch you watching).

The real entertainment begins when you read the comments below the clip and see their fans try to deny that there is anything gay about that video. Ah, got to love the cute little innocents.

A question for all of you to ponder. Why is that Asian girls get off on gay guy love while their western counterparts would vomit profusely if forced to watch these kinds of videos? What are the long term ramifications of a whole generation of young Asian girls attracted to boys who look more feminine than they do? Are these not questions that demand answers?

Rain US Tour Cancelled

A bit of mysterious trouble for our favorite 'World Star' Rain. Several weeks ago his Honolulu concert was canceled just a few days before scheduled date. Rain didn't show up to a press meeting, which ended up being used by his promoters to announce that the concert was off. No reason was given for the cancellation and ticket holders were told they could get refunds for their tickets.

The final sentence in that article:

Promoters would not say how many tickets were sold. The venue would have been set up to hold a crowd of 20,000 to 25,000.

Oh what a mystery! The concert is abruptly canceled without any reason
and promoters are not willing to say how many tickets were sold. Local promoters have apparently filed a lawsuit.

A Rain concert in Toronto which was to be held a few months ago was also canceled, and promoters were unable to give refunds. This is from the first link above:

Jay
Lee, South Korean representative for the promoter of a Toronto concert
that was also canceled, said at the press conference that he has not
been able to refund money to Canadian ticket-buyers, since he has not
yet been reimbursed for his $250,000 deposit.

"And it's been 40 days since the cancellation," said Lee.

Translation: You've all been screwed. Thanks for participating in the Korean Wave.

And why was the Toronto show canceled so suddenly? Apparently there was no official explanation given. Five minutes of intensive Internet searching didn't come up with any solid information, but I did stumble on a blog which claims that Rain canceled the show because the stage was too small. I guess they didn't figure this out until after the venue had been booked and tickets were sold. That could happen...I guess...

The San Francisco, New York and Atlanta concerts were canceled because they faced a copyright challenge in Nevada (There is another band in the States called Rain). However, that was thrown out of court last month and there isn't any word on rescheduling those concerts.

And now the LA concert has been canceled as well just a few days before the scheduled event. The reason this time?

The Saturday night show at the Staples Center
was called off "due to issues related to the show's production,"
according to a statement from Rain's promoter, V2B Global, posted on
the Staples Center Web site.

'Issues related to the show's production'...what could that possibly mean? Why so vague?

So basically the entire North American tour has been canceled for various excuses reasons.

Hey, and didn't Rain's manager just quit suddenly about a month ago without giving any specific reasons?  Hmmm.......

That's just a bit too much coincidence. I've come up with several theories that could possibly explain this strange series of events.

A. Rain's management is profoundly incompetent.

B. 'World Star' Rain isn't even popular enough among Asian-Americans to sell enough tickets to have a concert outside of Asia. 

C. Rain injured his wrist in a jogging accident several months ago, but will be back to his full strength sometime...soon...

D. This is all a part of a greater conspiracy to keep the Korean super-mega star down.

I don't even have to check the Naver discussion boards for this, the answer is clearly D. What would happen to the North American music industry if it got out that there is an Asian singer who can imitate such legendary acts as Justin Timberlake and Usher? How could the West handle the painful truth that no matter what kinds of acts we produce, 1-3 years later Asians can come up with their own version that is kind of almost as good (sort of)?

Comments from previous blog


Comments

Hey! You wouldn't make fun of Bi if he was an American performer like Carrot Top or Wayne Newton, you racist! You ex-pat ESL burger flippers are just jealous of Bi's talents! Like wearing one glove and walking backward! Name one U.S. performer who ever did that!

Posted by: Pawi Komerican Super Han Man | July 02, 2007 at 10:20 PM

I wore one glove and walked backward many times. But I'm not going to tell you my name, because you might be a stalker.

Posted by: One U.S. Performer | July 03, 2007 at 12:52 AM

"Hey! You wouldn't make fun of Bi if he was an American performer like Carrot Top or Wayne Newton, you racist! You ex-pat ESL burger flippers are just jealous of Bi's talents! Like wearing one glove and walking backward! Name one U.S. performer who ever did that!"

LMAO!

Posted by: littlebrownasian | July 04, 2007 at 04:29 AM

Toronto promoter's statement of how they got ripped is here, Hawaii tells a similar story:
http://rainscoming.ca

In L.A. the concert was actually canceled just before show time with fans waiting outside the Staples Center.
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-rain3jul03,1,317437.story?ctrack=3&cset=true

Lots of good reading here in the comments section:
http://popseoul.com/2007/07/01/rains-la-concert-cancelled/

Posted by: rainedout | July 05, 2007 at 03:34 PM

I live in Hawaii (leeward Oahu) and the local talk radio station covered this for a few minutes, er seconds. According to the station (AM830) only about 1,500 to 2,000 tickets were sold. Not sure how many were the $300 (for crying out loud!) variety.

Posted by: Matt | July 07, 2007 at 09:48 PM

I sat next to a guy on the plan last week who was one of the guys who picked Rain up from the airport in Los Angeles and had something to do with his entourage.
The fans were told that he was sick. Truth was that the venue was less than half sold-out, and he didn't want to perform to a small audience.

Posted by: joe | July 09, 2007 at 03:49 AM

The fans were told the L.A. Fire Marshal or some inspector shut down the show at the Staples Center because some of his stage equipment wasn't certified under U.S. safety standards.

Basically Rain's tour promoters from Korea have been running this schtick on the North American tour of getting paid the fee from the local promoters, then right before the concert they complain that the local promoters' are not doing an adequate job of getting the staging just right etc. Then they cancel out and refuse to refund the fee to the local promoter.

Posted by: rainedout | July 09, 2007 at 01:14 PM

Sweet. Bi will remain the thousands of miles away from me the way he should be.

Posted by: Angel Wings | July 09, 2007 at 04:57 PM

Carrot Top, Wayne Newton, and Rain: the Bi-list.

Posted by: Brat | July 12, 2007 at 07:54 AM

haha.
people remember,
just becuz you dont like them doesnt mean asia doesnt like him.
if you hate him so much then stop reading about him.
sheesh.

Posted by: park hae man | May 01, 2008 at 10:09 AM

FUCK RAIN! i bought 3 tickets for the toronto show, and its been more than a year now, i still havent got my money back!! he is nothing but a son of a bitch that robs money! i want my money back, my money doesnt fall outta the sky! fuck him!

Posted by: k | May 20, 2008 at 10:16 PM

I didn't get my refund back either! I'm so mad! And I cannot find the promoters anywhere. I'm sure they are lurking around somewhere in Toronto. They totally ditched their office and the site is down too. I would never buy from these promoters or from Rain again! It may not be his fault but I'm sure he should know how bad the concert management has been.

Posted by: A | June 01, 2008 at 09:19 AM

K-netizen Come-uppance

In the previous post I discussed the ongoing Time Magazine Internet Poll allowing people to vote their choice for the 'most influential person of the year.'

Predictably, the Korean Netizens responded to such polls they way they always do and Rain zoomed to the top. With the poll still open, the Korean media jumped on the story to see to it that all good citizens rallied for this noble cause.  'Is Rain more famous than Bill Gates?' the good reporters ask. 'The World Recognizes Rain's Global Stardom' was the headline of this morning's 'Focus' paper (one of those free papers they give out on the subways).

Barf bag, please.

However, the story took a turn when Thailand citizens realized their own good king Bhumibal was in the running and they responded with their own Internet ballot box-stuffing campaign and soon Bhumibal was atop the poll (that's about where my updates stopped in the previous post).

The Korean netizens, refusing to be beaten at their own game, realized that the only way to kill the king's popularity and put Rain back on top was to bombard Bhumibal with low ratings. Soon his average rating plummeted from 91 to the low 80s, a feat which must have taken 10s of thousands of voters to accomplish.

However, when the Thais realized what the Korean netizens were doing they returned the favor and sent Rain down to 23rd place (below Bill Gates, by the by, and George Bush for that matter). Enraged, even more Koreans plagued Bhumibal with low ratings and now His Majesty sits at about 50th place.

And so both seem fucked at this point. There is justice sometimes in cyberspace.

We all owe the Thai people a enormous debt of gratitude  for saving us from what surely would have been another onslaught of 'Gee, ain't we grand?' reporting from the Korean media which thrives on these farces.

But mayhaps I  am being premature in thinking the K-netizens so easily defeated? If they organize even greater numbers and get EVERYONE'S ratings in the low 70's, then their man (for lack of a better of word) is back in the running!  Sounds difficult, but an entire nation's sense of self-worth is on the line here, is it not?

'Backlash' seems to be a popular word lately. I think the antics of the Korean netizens and media are starting to get well known throughout Asia and perhaps even beyond and not in the way they'd like. The Thais will probably not take kindly to their King being trashed online and realize that with Korea it's all 'Please love us but we don't give a shit about you' (which, as we all know, is something only America has the right to demand). Don't be surprised if events like this leads to an even bigger decline in the 'Korean wave' than there was last year.

Update

Never underestimate the power of the K-netizens. They've managed to get Rain back up to #11 by systematically bombarding the person in the next higher ranking with low ratings while continuing to try to push Rain's rating higher (getting a few hundred votes every minute, according to my half-assed calculations). American Idol clown Sanjaya is the latest victim, suddenly getting about a hundred votes per minute while all other candidates ranked ahead and behind are just getting a few. Scary to think of how many Netizens have given up their evenings for this matter of national honor.

Comments on original post

Hey, Koreans can't earn their self-esteem so they fake it, just like "Pi" has no talent so they run his voice through a computer and slap makeup on the girlieman and teach him a couple basic Michael Jackson moves from 25 years ago, and they have a "star."

Posted by: Ultimate Iguana | April 25, 2007 at 05:43 PM

Sanjaya vs. Rain. How ironic.

Posted by: SomeguyinKorea | April 25, 2007 at 05:44 PM

Hi Poops
Have you heard of this blog 'tagging' lark? I've just 'tagged' you - pop over to my place if you're interested.

Have a great weekend!

Leone xx

Posted by: Leone | April 27, 2007 at 07:32 AM

Wow - Rain is #3 now!

Posted by: Jenn | April 28, 2007 at 04:11 AM

The whole story is pretty sad... I've always hated this kind of polls.
But you don't have to thanks Thai people. Colbert's supporters worked with their VoteBots to decrease Rain's position and, of course, increase Colbert's. You can see it yourself in ColbertNation forum.

btw... who is that Colbert guy?

Posted by: m | April 28, 2007 at 10:38 PM

The Digital Assclown Brigade (Korean division) has pushed Rain to #1 as of 2 May. Let the cultural masturbation--oh...sorry...um..."We're Number 1" articles begin!

Posted by: Kkachi | May 02, 2007 at 02:16 AM

Rain doesn't have full eyebrows

Posted by: hardyandtiny | May 02, 2007 at 05:06 AM

Rain says he's not even included in the final list, because he was only invited as an alumnus and not as an awardee.

Anyway, it wasn't just Korea voting, it was the whole of Rain's fanbase voting a hundred thousand times a day. I'm talking large-scale here: Hong Kong, Singapore, USA, Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia. It's all over the comments page; only a small percentage of those who participate in this ridiculous poll is from Korea, mostly are from all over the world. Quite pathetic, yes, but these boppers have so much time in their hands they don't know what to do with it.

Time should have never introduced the poll in the first place. Fans go crazy when they think their idols have to be number one. Rain's fans are scarier. It's amazing how they can all unite from different places to get him to the top. And although there could be cheating involved (ie rating other people 0), fans of other candidates undoubtedly did it to the others in the list at one time or another.

And by the way, Korea is not the only one saying 'Rain Number One' here. Articles of Miyamoto in the top 5 also run out and about in Japanese newspapers. Steve Jobs leading the race was also featured in a business magazine.

Posted by: Mister | May 02, 2007 at 05:24 AM

I hear that this rain guy is "bi". whatever. anyway, I hope rain gets top votes for everything. Dumb koreans.

Posted by: NorhKorean | May 04, 2007 at 05:27 AM

It's all pretty funny. Rain, the worlds #1 most influential person. Haha.. btw man, you dont need an apostrophe when you write "10s" or "Thais". It really killed your article for me. ^^

Posted by: Qinella | May 05, 2007 at 11:37 AM

The offending little monster's we're taken out. Thank's for the head's up. And rest assured, no error's in you're comment had any adverse affects on me.

Posted by: partypooper | May 06, 2007 at 04:22 AM

Hey guys, leave Ji-Hoon alone will you! I'd just like to bend him over and roger him senseless and what's wrong with that? He's got that kind of talent........

Posted by: Leone | May 06, 2007 at 05:50 AM

I love how it says his albums have "topped the charts in Japan" when they struggle even to make it into the top 20

Posted by: Angel Wings | May 06, 2007 at 08:29 AM

Bae Yong Jun: Cry for me

In Chosunilbo you can read an article about how South Koreans ignore LINK protestors trying to raise awareness about the plight of their brothers to the North, but if you want some true trajedy then go here:

Bae Yong-joon Laments the Price of Fame

Look at that pained expression. Oh why is life so hard for our little Yonsama?

"The interviewer says it looks as if Bae is unable to enjoy any
semblance of a normal life. "There can be nothing like that for me,"
the star replies. "The house, the office, the gym: my sphere of
activity is pretty limited. There's a coffee shop at a hotel that our
company manages, but even there I have to go in through the back door."
He admits to despairing sometimes when he thinks that this is how he
has to live the rest of his life."

My recommendation to Mr. Bae is to move to the United States where he can easily find the sweet oblivion that he so desperately desires. And also allow me to extend this invitation to International Mega-Superstar 'Rain' as well. If you ever want to go somewhere where no one knows nor cares who the hell you are, your own American Dream awaits you.

Speaking of the 'crying game,' transgender Ha Ri Su has made public the identity of her boyfriend.
Here is the lucky guy right here, Woo Seung-woo.

Woo-woo, mad props for being open-minded enough to date a transgender and having the courage to come public. You're more of a man than I could ever be (so to speak).

If the newest ads by Lee Joongi do not cause violent retching, perhaps you should consider getting some help.

They say that Joongi/junki/whatever is going to take on a more 'manly' role in his next acting effort. Good idea. I say he should get a fake girlfriend while he's at it. Joongi, your 15 minutes are about up on this whole girly-boy thing and though your gender-confused budding-lesbian fan-base may hold steady, I think you'll find the rest of Korean society is already getting bored (if not physically ill) with this whole 'aren't I just the cutest little princess?' act.

And finally, from an anonymous COF member I received a link to this photo.
It's a picture of the Korean soccer team in training. It seems that they were having a split-squad relay race and this is the winning team.

Question 1:
When having split-squad relay races, is it a requirement to form a 'love train' formation while watching other members race?

Question 2: In soccer, is it an acceptable act of celebration to reach around another player and grab his crotch? Or is this just a Korean guy thing?

Question 3: When another guy does grab your crotch, do you have to enjoy it as much as Kim Dong-jin (front-left) seems to be? Or is it just sports etiquette to refrain from the natural impulse to elbow the pepper-picker in the gut?

Comments on original post



The public wrap around is just too much. Have you seen The Yangpas take on Korean Gaydar (http://theyangpa.wordpress.com/2006/06/01/korean-gaydar-technology-lags-behind-international-standards/). It's pretty funny, but not nearly as good as your posts.

hmm.. no html on your comments.

Posted by: EFL Geek | June 01, 2006 at 04:17 PM

Allow me if I may to address each of these topics.

Photo 1. Yonsama is obviously despairing that his lipstick has dried up.

Photo 2. Which one is Harisu?

Photo 3. Word on the street is that Junki's "manlier" role will be the part of Harisu in the Harisu epic biography.

Photo 4. Use of the hands is apparently okay in soccer as long as you don't touch the ball(s).

Posted by: Iceberg | June 02, 2006 at 01:22 AM

Nice. Thank ya!

Posted by: Hugh | June 02, 2006 at 09:52 AM

Now those Korean footie boys are hot! I hope you don't mind Scott but I've reproduced it with credits of course!

Posted by: Leone | June 02, 2006 at 07:44 PM

Yeah baby, this is what I'm talking about. You really need to quit your day job so you can blog more. Or, do what countless other bloggers do and blog from work.

Posted by: Nomad | June 02, 2006 at 10:00 PM

Grabbing the crotch? I think it's just a Korean guy thing.

Posted by: yankabroad | June 03, 2006 at 07:08 PM

My god, that new Lee Jun-gi is just horrible. Truely retch-enducing.

The celebrity "woe is me" piece is a common tactic designed to engender a stronger sense of devotion among the fans. Reading about the sacrifices their favorite star has to make, the fans feel a stronger obligation to support their idol.

Of course, as you said, if he is really tired of the attention he can always just move to North Dakota and slip quietly into society there. But really... his management agency just isn't having that.

Posted by: Brian | June 07, 2006 at 09:24 PM

in english please..

Posted by: Joe brown | June 16, 2006 at 09:57 PM

"In soccer, is it an acceptable act of celebration to reach around another player and grab his crotch?" Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Sicko.

Posted by: Christine | June 17, 2006 at 06:29 PM

do you REALLY have nothing better to do than write all this crap?

Posted by: Yvonne | August 08, 2006 at 05:19 PM

Yvonne, this isn't the Chosun Ilbo or the daily news. It's a blog. If you can't take the heat, get out of the pan.

Posted by: littlebrownasian | August 08, 2006 at 05:37 PM

BoA and Bruce: Daily Affirmations

From Naver's "Please say you love us!" Daily Affirmation files comes this most-viewed headline story.

Bruce Willis: "Boa Is Beautiful!"

보아는 할리우드 최고 스타 브루스 윌리스로부터 "눈부시게 아름답다"는 극찬을 받기도 했다.

또한 브루스 윌리스는 레드 카펫 행사부터 시종일관 보아를 따뜻하게 배려하며 즐겁게 대화를 나누는 등 보아에 대한 관심과 애정을 보여줘 눈길을 끌었다.

Loose Translation: Bruce said she was stunningly beautiful, talked with her for a bit, showed her a lot of consideration and attention and invited her back to his hotel room so he could personally "Ride the Korean Wave".

Boa is the one between Avril Wha'ts Her Name and the guy in drag. Standing next to Avril does tend to make even the homely look good, I suppose.

Of this very important story, all Korean netizens screamed as one, "See this world? We're good enough, we're smart enough, and, doggonit, people like us!"

I honestly believe, though, that if BoA were to get a little more plastic surgery and some strategically placed implants (and replace all her songwriters), she'd have a much better chance of breaking into the America market than some fem-clone like Rain.

The Korean Gay Wave

The Korean GayWave is set to once again thrust itself upon Taiwan's shores. Happy them.

While 'Rain' may be the 'Justin Timberlake of Korea,' Kangta and Taiwanese singer 'Vanness' have joined forces to become the 'Ambiguously Gay Duo of Asia.'  Sure, Korean pop music may be a low quality imitation of western pop music, but they are definitely the vangaurd of homoerotic music and have obviously influenced/warped the Taiwan music industry.

'K-pop' and 'Gay-pop', just the difference of an aspirated consonant. Coincidence?

And next we have Korea's sweetheart Lee Jun-gi visiting Taiwan to promote his hit movie, The King and the (butt)Clown.

Some may wonder why hordes of middle school girls go
goo-goo for (presumably) male actors and singers who are nearly indistinguishable from women, but you have to understand
that at that age, young girls find the idea of actual men with penises quite
threatening. I say again, let's try to understand them, people, not judge.

Hat tip to a certain former Korean blogging deity (IA) who notified the Gaywatch Project of this recent activity. Kevin, if by chance you have some of your old blog entries on file somewhere, be a pal and let one of us bloggers post and store them for posterity. Let's do it for the children.

(shitload of) comments from original post (please read them all)



One day I watching Happy Ass TV and see picure Lee Junki. So joy that time! I screan "ASS TV NUBER ONE CHANEL" at TV and odl relative look me a nd say "WHY YOU DO" ha ha I don't explain raletive so she very angry me ^^

Posted by: Kevin Kim | May 04, 2006 at 09:42 AM

So funny!!

Posted by: Jenn | May 04, 2006 at 09:14 PM

IA @ Web Archive: http://web.archive.org/web/20040609051404/http://incestuousamplification.blog-city.com/

Posted by: SDCarroll | May 05, 2006 at 01:41 AM

Leave me and my butt alone!

Posted by: Lee Jun-gi | May 09, 2006 at 05:47 AM

Maybe we should help Korea to prolong their denial of homosexuality on the peninsula by introducing them straight to Metro-sexuality and skip the Homosexuality phase.

Posted by: Tom Thumb | June 03, 2006 at 09:23 AM

no affence or anything but theres more gay people in Europe and ESPECIALLY australia than asian countries or Korea in that fact so i think we should help the Australians and europeans first..

Posted by: Joe | June 04, 2006 at 12:02 AM

no affence or anything but theres more gay people in Europe and ESPECIALLY australia than asian countries or Korea in that fact so i think we should help the Australians and europeans first..

Posted by: Joe | June 04, 2006 at 12:02 AM

are you saying that Kangta and Vaness or something are gay cause they are both men in a group..think about D12 or sumshit, that has 6 members..woO! they must be REALLY gay! haha

Posted by: Joe | June 04, 2006 at 12:21 AM

are you saying that Kangta and Vaness or something are gay cause they are both men in a group..think about D12 or sumshit, that has 6 members..woO! they must be REALLY gay! haha

Posted by: Joe | June 04, 2006 at 12:21 AM

Like talking to the wall.

Posted by: Iceberg | June 04, 2006 at 05:21 AM

gees nothing to get pissd about@_@

Posted by: Joe | June 05, 2006 at 02:21 AM

i Just wanna help the gay europeans..thats a good thing

Posted by: Joe | June 05, 2006 at 02:22 AM

I like how you say: "I say again, let's try to understand them, people, not judge." and yet you're obviously judging.

You're obviously a smart one.

Posted by: Hannah | June 16, 2006 at 02:19 PM

Dude.... I know these posts are jokes and all but some people look at it at a literal level....
To me ur like an ignorant asshole
Start talking real and get to the main issues
If you are a teenager, start growing up...
If you are a Middle aged man, then go get a job or something...
If you are a old man, then go get a coffin or something and lay down until you die...

and to the commenters who support this man/woman
I suggest you guys should get a life tooo...

And i guess you guys are thinking..
Then you dont have a life for reading this post
Well im a teenager arent i?
and its summer...

And btw
i bet your going to try to comeback with a witty remark

Posted by: Yeah | June 16, 2006 at 06:37 PM

Wow, and to think I actually thought that you couldn't get ANY dumber. Stupid me, right? So what, is there like some kind of law that if two guys make ONE CD together, they're automatically gay? Think about how ridiculous that sounds. It might not be ridiculous to YOU because an evident IDIOT like you probably ONLY says ridiculous things. But to the rest of the world, it's just plain dumb. Give it up. It's not worth acting like an idiot. And also, that Lee Junki thing, Korea's sweetheart and "The King and the (butt) Clown"? SO HILARIOUS. Watch me die of laughter real quick.
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-, no. That wasn't funny. That, was also dumb. For your information, it's not only middle school girls who like Lee Junki. And whether or not he has a penis, HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW? What, did you like wait outside his dressing room and then look down his pants? If EVERY Korean male was gay, then I wonder how Korean males get married to WOMEN. Ever think about that, genius? Korean Gaywatch.. Haha, the work of an original comedian. NOT. Please, do the world a favor and get a life. Or suck a cock. Oh wait, you already probably do that in your spare time. But either way works.

Posted by: Christine | June 16, 2006 at 07:32 PM

Hi 'Yeah' Hanna, and Christine and all the other little middle-school Kyopos lucky enough to have found my site. I hope you have me bookmarked for your summer reading entertainment and education. Now that I realize I have such a wide, avid readership, I'll make more of an effort to post more.

And it is my hope that you try to keep in mind that just because most Korean entertainers marketed for the teenie-boppers are ridiculous embarrassments to the entire Asian world, it doesn't mean that you, as Kyopos, are bad people in any way. As Christine Aguilera says, you are beautiful in each and every way. Please don't forget that as you continue through these difficult identity-forming years.

Peace out

Posted by: partypooper | June 17, 2006 at 01:45 AM

how BORED are you?

in the end, whos the one out there being successful? whos the one making a lot of money? and whos the one getting all the boys? its the korean celebs ur talking shxt about u retard. theyr getting far out there in the entertanment busines while u sit here and try to make .001% of the history theyr making/about to mak. And yet, despite your unimportance, here I am obsessing on your site. What a world, huh?

whatever, keep doing ur thing if it makes u feel any better about urself. As for myself, I need to get back to school and work on my spelling and syntax.

Posted by: yina | June 17, 2006 at 10:40 AM

You need to get a fucking life. Do you think you're the shit or something, just because your bashing some gay Korean stars.

And, why the fuck do you even care? You aren't even Korean and if you aren't going to appreciate it, then just stick to your own fucking American culture.

Who the fuck are you to bash Ahn Jeong Hwan? Gay? Probably, but he is also married to Ms. Korea. Plus, you're just fucking mad that the U.S. soccer team sucks ass and that Korea got ranked higher in the last world cup, even though we got it unfairly. Shit, U.S. already lost their first fucking game this world cup (though they were quite impressive against Italy)

Also, that post about TVXQ that you posted on the year of 2004. That's untrue, because as a matter of fact they are one of the biggest boy bands in Korea, China, Japan, and so on. True, they are gay, but so much for not remembering them in the future.

And, you're a fucking embarrassment to fucking America. You're so fucking ignorant, stereotypical, and racist. And I'm not. Get a fucking life.

So, why won't you and all the other Gaywatchers, get a fucking life.

God, why can't I get you and this site out of mind? One guy makes some jokes about Korean singers and I just go nuts. It's like I'm obsessed or something...

Posted by: partypooper is gey | June 17, 2006 at 11:00 AM

Uh, yeah. Here's where you go wrong. For your FUCKING information, I'm not a MIDDLE SCHOOLER. Yeah. Take that and shove it. Thank you.

Posted by: Christine | June 17, 2006 at 06:25 PM

Wow, so many posters in need of a good, strong vaginal douche. Maybe Lysol will do the trick.

Posted by: Giant Panda | June 18, 2006 at 05:58 PM

haha did u like edit my comment or something? if not then haha even more. i didnt know i was skilled to sound like an ass like you. smart ass i mean. gotta give u the credit. what makes u think u have the right to criticize so much people? are u all that greater than them?

please help make the world a better place and go fall off a cliff & die. please&thankyou=)

Posted by: yina | June 18, 2006 at 07:39 PM

haha did u like edit my comment or something? if not then haha even more. i didnt know i was skilled to sound like an ass like you. smart ass i mean. gotta give u the credit. what makes u think u have the right to criticize so much people? are u all that greater than them?

please help make the world a better place and go fall off a cliff & die. please&thankyou=)

Posted by: yina | June 18, 2006 at 07:39 PM

can tell from your post you are just a jealous person who views beauty as a threat...

Posted by: TM | June 22, 2006 at 09:10 PM

And whether or not he has a penis, HOW THE HELL WOULD YOU KNOW? - Christine

Snicker, snicker, snicker. How the hell would you know indeed.

Posted by: Iceberg | June 23, 2006 at 12:52 AM

"How the HELL would you know if Lee Jun Ki has a pensi?" Well, that is a good questiosn with most Koreans, since you can't tell it apart from the other pubic hairs down there. So I guess the assumption is if you can't see it it ain't there.

Posted by: Lee Jun Ki has no penis | July 19, 2006 at 01:38 AM

Image over Substance

I finally had a chance to see the Ashlee Simpson debacle on Saturday Night Live (we get the show a week late in Korea). Pretty damn funny. Here’s a link to the video.


Here’s a summary of the story if you haven’t heard about this yet (and give a rat’s ass). Basically, due to a computer glitch or a drummer pushing the wrong button, it was revealed that she had a “guide vocal” recording that she either sang along with or just simply lip-synced to. The wrong song came up and the vocals started while the microphone was nowhere near her mouth.

What makes this great is that not long ago she made the following quote, as noted in an article in globeandmail.com.

Apart from the fact that the Simpson girls, being massively hyped, are hugely obvious targets, the greatest source of Schadenfreude was a remark Ashlee Simpson made to Lucky magazine, in which she insisted that she would "never" lip-synch. "I'm going out to let my real talent show, not to just stand there and dance around," she said.

Well, “just stand there and dance around” is about all she did before fleeing from the stage (here's a good video of what happened after she left the stage).

This is all yet more proof that the music industry in general is less and less about the music and more and more about pretty faces and image.




Here's Ashlee and her true "talents."

Nowhere is this more true than in Korea (well, could be worse in Japan). As I have mentioned before, mainstream music in Korea is pure image and zero talent. Almost all the big acts were manufactured by recording executives. There are precious few bands and singers that write their own music and were signed based on proven talent after struggling and developing their craft over the years.

And now it is biting them in the ass.

With more and more artists sounding exactly alike and putting out music that gets old in about 2 weeks, fewer and fewer people are buying their CDs. Most just download the music for free from the Internet and their cell phones.

CD sales have continually dropped over the past few years. Sales dropped 7.7 percent in 2001, another 31.4 percent in 2002, and further dropped 31.2 percent in 2003. Those are extremely alarming numbers.


More from a joongang daily article.

The total cost of releasing an album, including production and marketing, runs from 300 to 400 million won, according to Mr. Kang. These days, he says, it's hard to get a return of even 100 million won, even for albums made by established musicians.
"We're about to be standing on heaps of debt," Mr. Kang said.

According to Reuters, 95% of all music retail shops in South Korea have failed over the past 5 years.

Noticed any music retailers go out of business lately? In my case, 3 out of the 4 shops that I pass going to work each day have closed in the last year.


I have listened to music over the internet before. Perhaps I am just the “old generation” now, but when I hear something I like, I go out and buy the CD, even though I know I could download it for free on the Net. I want money to go into the pocket of performers and musicians that “rock my world.” I don’t think I’m the only one who thinks and acts this way.

Koreans, though, are just ensuring that the next generation of “musicians” are worse than they are now. For musicians in Korea to make money, they need to get on TV shows and commercials. This requires good looks more than anything else, so now the music industry is even more image conscious than they were before (which was already pretty god-damned bad).

So, flush the future of Korean music down the toilet. I’ll keep my old Seo Tae Ji and Kim Hyun Sik CDs as a reminder that Korea at least used to be capable of producing talented musicians and song writers before bands like H.O.T and the Korean music industry fucked things up.

Meanwhile, back in the West, when poseurs like Milli Vanili and Ashlee Simpson are exposed, it is our job as concerned world citizens to hound them into oblivion and send the music industry a strong message to keep talentless performers to a minimum. “Pop” music has always been a parasite that threatens to infect the music industry in general, I know. But there needs to be strong pressure on the music industry to “keep it real” as much as possible or otherwise it all becomes a beauty contest.

You know me. I like my musicians and performers good and ugly.

Crap Quota

Somebody Get This Man a Blog!
Cho Se-hyun: Local Ex-pat hero and sometimes seemingly the lone voice of reason in the ROK



Cho Se-hyun, a former AP reporter in the States and in Tokyo, has a weekly column at the Korean Herald. His posts are usually right on the money, and today's (well, last weeks) was no exception

According to Korean newspapers and television, those movies, as well as some of popular dramas made for television, are sweeping Japan, China, and other Southeast Asian markets, while the American industry is bracing itself for an onslaught of Korean movies.

I don't know how accurate those enthusiastic reports and rosy predictions for Korean movies are. But I am sure I am not the only one who has noticed how abruptly boasting by the Korean press, filmmakers, actors and actresses turns into whimpering as soon as someone starts mentioning the need for lowering the country's screen quota system.

That basically sums up the bullshit spewing from the mouths of the media and the film industry.

So which statement is correct?

A: "Our movies are as good as Hollywood's"
B: "Our industry is not developed enough to compete with foreign films"

Which is it, dumbfucks?

The correct answer, by the way, is C: none of the above

Now, if when you say "Hollywood" you are only thinking of the formula action movies big on special effects and well-known names but low on everything else (I.e. Armageddon, Independence Day, Daredevil, etc.), then perhaps that statement could be true: Yes, your films are no worse than a lot of the "blockbusters" that come out of Hollywood (and almost the ONLY foreign movies we can see in Korea thanks to the shitty quota system, fuck you very much).

But to compare Korean movies to the good flicks that come out of Hollywood and elsewhere is...well...no comparison. I'm talking Schindler's List, Lord of the Rings, American Beauty (I'm not sure, but I think the message in that movie was that the guy should have porked the teenager and he would have lived), Shawshank Redemption (which I think Korean TV has shown at least twice a week over the past 10 years), Pulp Fiction, etc. etc. etc.

I've seen the bulk of new Korean movies over the past 5 years. The ones that get the big hype (JSA, Swili, Friend, Sassy Girl etc.) are just average films by world class standards. Korean films were so painfully shitty for so long that when finally some directors put out something even approaching mediocrity the whole country goes apeshit (and even some expats who seem to have lost the ability to discriminate).

So then why is choice "B" (industry can't compete with foreign films) likewise incorrect?
The Korean film industry has the big advantage of an audience that desperately wants it to succeed. Just make a mediocre to decent film and they'll flock to it (basically, it's no more difficult than making a movie for an audience no more critical than your own mother).

Cho Se-hyun has talked about this issue a while back (couldn't get the link, it's been archived) and accurately predicted the infantile reaction of the film industry to demands to drop the quota system. I'll let Cho Se-hyon finish this bitch off:

Indeed, there have been several Korean movies of late that have been successful at the domestic box office. In year-end assessments of the movie industry, television networks and newspapers were euphoric about how great those movies were. Some of them even proclaimed: "There is no Hollywood," "We beat Hollywood at its own game," and so on.

Yet, I bet my last won that the minute the United States and other countries start asking the government to lift the screen quota system, the movie industry will come up with some excuse to keep the system in place for another year. There just seems to be no end to greed in this country; some people don't seem to realize the simple truth that everything in the world is done on a give-and-take basis.

PS
By the way, I saved Cho Se-hyun's picture from the Korea Herald to put on this post and this was the name of the picture that the Korean Herald people had named it:

“cum_face2”

What the fuck is up with that? I can't imagine that "The Cho" is very popular in this country. It's one thing when someone from the "Angry Expat Brigade" (of which I have raised in rank to a lieutenant, by the way) points out Korea's flaws, but when one of your own does it? That must really get under the skin of the nationalistic segment of this country that seems to dominate these days.

Little Bride Review

There's a new movie out taking Korea by storm called "The Little Bride" (어린 신부), and it looks HOT!!



It's a story about a 25 year old guy who is "forced" by his grandfather to marry a 16-year-old girl. Now, look at that picture; does that guy look like someone who was "forced" to be in bed with that little sweet hottie minor (played deliciously by new actress Moon Geun-young)? I think not!!!

Just looking at this picture reassures me that the director handles this subject in a realistic manner. Now, he could have had the 25 year-old guy with a look of panic on his face just like that sexy little cutey next to him, but no! Look at that shit-eating grin on his face! He's scored big and he knows it!



Just look at that little doll-faced cutie! So young, innocent and pure...they say she's 16, but I'd say she doesn't look a day over 12! Perfect casting! Just look at the smile on that actors face! And can you blame him? Wouldn't you be grinning ear to ear knowing that you were lying in bed next to a girl who is still wearing a training bra? Schwing!!!



Oh yeah...you know there are going to be a lot of scenes with this cute little number in her school-girl outfits. It's about time the Korean film industry woke up to what people here in Korea want to see. We're tired of all these 20 something over-the-hill actresses showing off their tired old bodies in vain. That's not what we want to see! The popularity of Moon Geun-young is through the roof! She's all over the TV and the sports pages. Will she soon be posing nude on the Internet? One can only hope!!



Here's my favorite promo-pic from the movie. VERY hot. Yeah...work it baby...gnaw on that long "screw bar" like there's no tomorrow! Oh yes, Daddy Like!!!



Anyway, when I first heard about the movie I worried that they would do a PC butchering of this PERFECT theme by having the couple later realize that they just could not possibly stay married. But no!!! He gets to keep this little hottie in the end! Assah!!!!

My only criticism of the movie is the extremely unrealistic story-line of when the main actor is tempted by a 24 or so year old slutty character played by Kim Bo Young.



Now someone please tell me why in the world would you be distracted even for a moment from your perfect barely-teenage looking bride by this over-ripened old hag? Come on!!


Now what they should have done is have the guy be tempted by one of his bride's hot little high school friends. You know, all of her high school girl friends come over for an over-night pajama party (now THAT would be a hot scene!) and one of her friends makes a move on him while they are all playing Twister (I mean, hell, if we're going to make a fantasy-fulfillment film for pedophiles, let's go all the way!). This would be much more believable than having the Bo-young girl trying to seduce him by swinging her overly developed breasts in his face (Yuck!!).

So hats off to the writers, directors and producers of this one. Sure, considering the fact that Korea and Japan have a big problem with under-aged girls sleeping with adult guys for shopping money you could easily imagine this kind of movie would be avoided, or at least they would wimp out and not let the couple stay together. But no! They have the courage to give the people what they want. On behalf of all true men in Korea (especially male high school and middle school teachers), I thank you.