Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Little Bride Review

There's a new movie out taking Korea by storm called "The Little Bride" (어린 신부), and it looks HOT!!


It's a story about a 25 year old guy who is "forced" by his grandfather to marry a 16-year-old girl. Now, look at that picture; does that guy look like someone who was "forced" to be in bed with that little sweet hottie minor (played deliciously by new actress Moon Geun-young)? I think not!!!

Just looking at this picture reassures me that the director handles this subject in a realistic manner. Now, he could have had the 25 year-old guy with a look of panic on his face just like that sexy little cutey next to him, but no! Look at that shit-eating grin on his face! He's scored big and he knows it!


Just look at that little doll-faced cutie! So young, innocent and pure...they say she's 16, but I'd say she doesn't look a day over 12! Perfect casting! Just look at the smile on that actors face! And can you blame him? Wouldn't you be grinning ear to ear knowing that you were lying in bed next to a girl who is still wearing a training bra? Schwing!!!


Oh know there are going to be a lot of scenes with this cute little number in her school-girl outfits. It's about time the Korean film industry woke up to what people here in Korea want to see. We're tired of all these 20 something over-the-hill actresses showing off their tired old bodies in vain. That's not what we want to see! The popularity of Moon Geun-young is through the roof! She's all over the TV and the sports pages. Will she soon be posing nude on the Internet? One can only hope!!


Here's my favorite promo-pic from the movie. VERY hot. it baby...gnaw on that long "screw bar" like there's no tomorrow! Oh yes, Daddy Like!!!

Anyway, when I first heard about the movie I worried that they would do a PC butchering of this PERFECT theme by having the couple later realize that they just could not possibly stay married. But no!!! He gets to keep this little hottie in the end! Assah!!!!

My only criticism of the movie is the extremely unrealistic story-line of when the main actor is tempted by a 24 or so year old slutty character played by Kim Bo Young.


Now someone please tell me why in the world would you be distracted even for a moment from your perfect barely-teenage looking bride by this over-ripened old hag? Come on!!

Now what they should have done is have the guy be tempted by one of his bride's hot little high school friends. You know, all of her high school girl friends come over for an over-night pajama party (now THAT would be a hot scene!) and one of her friends makes a move on him while they are all playing Twister (I mean, hell, if we're going to make a fantasy-fulfillment film for pedophiles, let's go all the way!). This would be much more believable than having the Bo-young girl trying to seduce him by swinging her overly developed breasts in his face (Yuck!!).

So hats off to the writers, directors and producers of this one. Sure, considering the fact that Korea and Japan have a big problem with under-aged girls sleeping with adult guys for shopping money you could easily imagine this kind of movie would be avoided, or at least they would wimp out and not let the couple stay together. But no! They have the courage to give the people what they want. On behalf of all true men in Korea (especially male high school and middle school teachers), I thank you.

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