Song Hye Kyo, you whore!

Apparently, Korean actress Song Hye Kyo has a secret life: massaging
and jerking off middle-aged men in Denver. Not only that, but
she might actually be Chinese!

Here is the evidence: Hye Kyo's picture in the add for 'Chinese Sweetheart Full Body Relaxation Massage.'

Heh heh...'full body'...heh heh heh....

Now, before you dial that number, I should let you know that there is a slight chance that Hye Kyo does not actually work the night shift in a Denver massage parlor. The good people at Naver who broke this very important story suggest that some evil people just used her picture without her knowledge. Why would they do such a thing? The noble netizen reporter conducted what was obviously an in depth and exhaustive interview with Netizen experts (who else?), and had the following to report:

사진을 돌려본 네티즌들은 “어이없다”거나 “한류 열풍 때문에 우리 배우들이 유명해지면서 이런 낯뜨거운 일도 일어나고 있다”면서 불쾌한 감정을 숨기지 않고 있다.

'Netizens seeing the picture could not hide their unpleasant feelings and said it was shocking or that through our actresses becoming famous through the Korean Wave, these kinds of low things are happening.'

Ah yes, more backlash against the mighty Korean Wave that continues to rock all of our worlds (whether we are aware of it or not). They fail to mention, however, that if this were a result of the mighty Korean Wave, why would they refer to Hye Kyo as Chinese?

Funny thing is, though, when I glanced through the comments to this article to see for myself the fury of the Netizens, I found more Netizens pointing out that sleaze merchants in Korea do the same thing
with Japanese stars (ever wonder where those women who grace those
small cards you see stuck in windshield wipers and laying on the street
in entertainment districts come from?). A few even questioned why this
was headline news at Naver.

Hmmm...not another case of uber-patriotic reporters at Naver trying in vain to stir up anti-foreigner sentiment, is it?

And what did Song Hye Kyo's camp have to say about this scandal?

송혜교 소속사 사이더스HQ의 한 관계자는 “황당하지만 대응할 가치조차 느끼지 못할 정도로 수준 낮은 광고에 불과하다”고 말했다.

"We are confused by this, but this is nothing more than a base advertisement that we don't feel is worthy of a response."

Well put. Makes you wonder why the good people at Naver didn't come to the same conclusion themselves and just not even report on this at all, does it not?

As for me, I'm not going to jump to any premature conclusions until all the evidence is in.  Didn't you notice that Song Hye Kyo's camp did NOT deny anything? Very, very, very suspicious if you ask me. Until I am presented proof that Song Hye Kyo does NOT work in a Denver massage parlor, I am going to keep an open mind on this one. Who knows? Now with the screen quota being weakened, maybe this is what Korean actresses have to do to make ends meet?

In the true spirit of Naver style journalism, I conducted my own extensive research on this case and came up with the following evidence for all to seriously consider.

Here's a picture of Song Hye Kyo with some unidentified man. As of yet, Song Hye Kyo has not confirmed nor denied that this picture may have in fact been taken at a Denver massage parlor.

Here is further incriminating evidence. Might this be Hye Kyo out on the streets of Denver, looking to bring in some customers? That certainly does not look like any street in Korea I've ever been on.
Here's Hye Kyo in what might be an advertisement for McDonald's. If she is willing to whore herself out to McDonald's and eat a Big Mac for money, what would she NOT do for money?

Now what exactly does 'celebritatio' mean? Might this be just a Konglish combination of 'celebrity' and 'felatio'?

Here are a few pictures of what Hye Kyo looks like when she's not (allegedly) rubbing oil over old
white guys with comb-overs and Asian men who want a break from blonde big-boobed white prostitutes.

I don't have any stupid comment to add to this picture, but aren't you glad I added this picture anyway? Let's just call her 'Girl Thursday'.

Thanks again to Naver for seeing to it that the Korean youth are properly informed on the major news events of the day.

And mad props to me for making sure expats everywhere do not miss these kinds of important stories either.

Comments on original post



gimme a reacharound Song Hickey-yo i wanna make Korean wave

Posted by: The Incredible Mr. Limpet | February 02, 2006 at 04:40 PM

That final pic of the lass must be her Lindsay Lohan look.

Which reminds me-- how many Korean women aged 18-38 are bulimic?


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | February 03, 2006 at 06:04 AM

Mad props to you indeed.

And Kevin, I think you meant to say "how many Korean women aged 18-38 aren't bulimic?"

Posted by: Nomad | February 04, 2006 at 01:34 AM

But hey - "how many American women 18-50+ aren't obese?"

Posted by: Leone | February 04, 2006 at 02:55 AM

Leone has a point. If the choice is between snapping a woman in half or getting crushed between massive fat rolls, I'll choose snapping any day.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | February 04, 2006 at 04:45 AM

Leon,

I think you meant to say "how many American women of any age aren't obese?" or better yet, "how many Americans aren't obese?"

*Disclaimer - the reply to Kevin was a joke. Korean women...love 'em, love 'em, yes I do.

Posted by: Nomad | February 04, 2006 at 02:03 PM

Bulimia is just a women's way of telling us guys that they think the world of us and would do anything for our acceptance and approval. I just don't know where American women went wrong...

Posted by: scott | February 04, 2006 at 05:39 PM

RED!

You're a bit late for Christmas with the new color scheme. Or are you going for a more "One Free Korea"-ish look?

The Konglishie motto rocks.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | February 05, 2006 at 04:47 AM

It's free whether you like Korea or not, but do not blame unrelated people with
dirty means.

Posted by: Umbrial | February 19, 2006 at 02:40 AM

who ever wrote this nonsense news.....
YOu need to get a life and stop stalking on people...Nobody wants to read this shit.....get a hobby....write about trees or somehting if you have nothing good to say about anyone...What's the difference? jeezzzz....rumors...rumors, rumors,

Posted by: me | February 24, 2006 at 04:07 AM

whoever you are asshole!!!! you don't even know song hye kyo! DUH! for heaven's sake! Asian Women don't want White Americans! too ugly for us!!!!DUH!!!! You're so D-U-H with an "!!!!". Get a life!!!!Where too much "Good" for them...and for you...hahaha! FREAK!

Posted by: F*CK YaAH BiAtCh! | February 24, 2006 at 07:04 AM

iS dAt trUe ?! !?

Posted by: ChikO _ san | February 27, 2006 at 02:09 AM

whoever wrote this is a frkn idiot!! Get a life! Song Hye Kyo wouldnt do this kind of shit......you're a RETARD!

Posted by: azn_master766 | March 24, 2006 at 04:29 AM

Who wrote this????It's a bunch of bulshit!The writer is an idiot!

Posted by: MiNim3 | March 24, 2006 at 04:32 AM

Finally, some commenters who realize that this post is absolutely 100% serious and in no way just a silly joke. If I had a million dollars, I would bet every penny of it that Song Hye Kyou can be found, right now as you read this, in a sleazy massage parlor jerking off old men. Just look at the evidence! Stop denying the clear and obvious truth!

Posted by: partypooper | March 24, 2006 at 05:15 AM

Good stuff. The previous comments absolutely kill me. "You don't even know Song Hye-kyo." Hahahaha! After this story, I think we must all admit that none of us really knew her. At least this side of her. :-)

By the way, I think you might truly be on to something with that Konglish phrase.

Posted by: Iceberg | March 25, 2006 at 05:13 PM

hei..anyway aLL i caN say is your such a nice persOn..

Posted by: jesa | May 03, 2006 at 11:09 PM


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luv u...mwaahh

Posted by: jesa | May 03, 2006 at 11:12 PM

i dont believe that song hye kyo is any of this thing that you people are on about. the first photo of her and the guy is one of her shots that were taken wen she was photo taking. if you people dont liek hye kyo just get over it man. but theres no use baggin her when all your stories are bc. the second photo is just a ramdom that was taken by a fan. omg yu people are soo sad. dont judge her if you dont know her.

Posted by: fcuk_ | May 15, 2006 at 03:51 AM

jsut stop of this bs rumours.

Posted by: fcuk | May 15, 2006 at 03:55 AM

jsut stop of this bs rumours.

Posted by: fcuk | May 15, 2006 at 03:55 AM

lizzen UR sooo bad don be judge if song hye kyo jerk off old guy OMG stut jop of dis BS ROOMER OMG who is gay? RU gay? no corea gay and song hye kyo no take doggy style hardcore DP bondage anal etc etc

Sorry Mr. Pooper, I couldn't resist.

Posted by: Giant Panda | May 15, 2006 at 04:32 AM

:)

Sometimes I wonder about the literacy skills of our dear Kyopo high school kiddies.

Posted by: partypooper | May 15, 2006 at 06:00 AM

"Sometimes I wonder about the literacy skills of our dear Kyopo high school kiddies."

Beats me too, partypooper. Geez, what a lame attempt to pass themselves off as 'leet' English speaking kids, when in fact it only makes them sound like they were scraped from the bottom of the barrel in some third-class hagwon or something.

BTW, nice pics there. Them nice Kyopo kids have a point: we DON'T know who she is. (yeah, like hell these kids do).

Posted by: littlebrownasian | May 15, 2006 at 09:32 PM