Random Splats: April

Gettin' Wiki wid it

Not sure if some other K-blogger has already mentioned this, but fan death has reached wikipedia. The wiki boys seem to think it's all bunk, but I'll wait until conservapedia comes out and tells us God's Honest Truth about it before I even think of buying a fan.

Chi power!
A youtube video of a 'kiai master' whose power of chi/ki/The Force or whatever is so strong he can knock people over without touching them. The first half is hilarious, the second half...I don't know. Kind of felt sorry for the old guy. I really wonder how he let himself get into that position. Maybe after you run a scam for so long you start to actually believe in it yourself? (found the link through the James Randi site)

Random link generator: #1

This link was found by a new search tool I discovered recently, the random link generator. Decided I'd just try it out and see what happens. Hope it leads to something interesting.

Life, it turns out, may not actually be fair after all
The famous anti 'ex-patriot' piece from the Korea Times has already made the rounds in the k-blogosphere. The gist of the piece is that life is tough for a kyopo in Korea, so white  'ex-patriots' (probably referring to America-hating Democrats) should shut up.

As a female Bangladeshi factory worker in Korea (there, I've finally revealed my true identity, Allah be praised), I'd like to tell him to shut the fuck up. I'm tired of all these spoiled little kyopos who have it so easy here in Korea (relative to people like me) whining about how 'unfair' life is.

Random Link Generator #2
Again,  this link was randomly generated. It does not necessarily reflect my exact opinion on whatever topic it happens to discuss.

KGW Update
I guess we can keep this guy on our files after all.

Funny how the recent generation of Korean singers keep their romances out of the public eye so well. You hear about Eric from Shinhwa scoring with the babes every now and then, but that's about it...

86% (hat tip to koreaspondent)

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The Host Conquers America

I'm surprised this story hasn't been carried by the Chosun Ilbo yet. Perhaps they've just been struggling to find the right spin angle to present it. Allow me to help them out (I grant full permission to the good people at Chosun Ilbo to reprint this article in its entirety).

It's official: The Korean Wave has finally roared across the Greater East Sea* and has engulfed the United States of America. The Korean blockbuster, The Host, in only its second week after being unleashed in the States, outperformed no less than 79 American movies in the box office this past week. The list of vanquished Hollywood movies includes such blockbusters as Charlotte's Web, Blood Diamond, and Wild Safari 3D: A South African Adventure.  Even Oscar nomination heavyweights such as The Departed and Letters from Iwo Jima received a sound spanking. Hollywood executives could not conceal their embarrassment, if not outright terror.

Says unbiased American movie analyst Jennifer Kim:

"During the first week of its release, when it conquered no less than 88  major Hollywood releases, many people just assumed that it was due to millions of Korean-Americans flocking to the movie to bump up the numbers. However, in the second week, only about 75% of the Korean-American community was able to make it out to the theaters for a second or third viewing. Clearly, someone else is watching this movie! The Host has now absolutely proved it is no fluke. There is no Hollywood."

On the music end of the Korean Wave, America is just barely recovering from the mass hysteria that accompanied the Rain tour, which saw an amazing 400% increase** in non Asian-American fans compared to previous estimates when Rain wowed audiences at two sold-out Madison Square Garden shows.

Photo: Hordes of American fans being 비'd on at Madison Square Garden. (the photo doesn't show it, but there really was a white girl in the audience. Lots of people saw her and will tell you it is absolutely true)
 

Continues unbiased American citizen Jennifer Kim,

"The effect of the Korean Wave in America is undeniable. It was just the other day when a Chinese-American friend of mine was mistakenly assumed to be Korean by someone on the street. How wild is that? And at a party the other day I was talking to this white guy, and when he found out I was Korean he noted that he knew that Old Boy won some European award recently. He hasn't actually seen the movie, but he agreed that it's probably pretty good."

Movie critics in the States have given The Host extremely high praise. Said one reviewer,

"The Host has all the necessary components of a great movie: It's from a foreign country, it has subtitles, and most of the actors aren't white. And those who are white play stereotypical evil characters completely lacking in depth. It's got all the makings of a classic."

The Host continues to play at 71 69 movie theaters across the United States. 

*Also referred to as the Pacific Ocean by the uneducated
**This percentage might actually be higher. In addition to confirmed sightings of 4 non-Asians at the concerts (one was even black!), there were several reports of at least 2 other individuals that may have been Hispanic, but then again, could just have been Korean girls who were going for a gang-banger look.

Comments from original blog entry

Fan-dingle-damn-tastic.

This post almost motivates me to see the movie.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | March 19, 2007 at 11:33 PM

You forgot to mention the best part. For betraying their country the whiteys got deported from Korea.

Posted by: EFL Geek | March 20, 2007 at 01:48 AM

Bravo, sir, bravo.

Posted by: Nomad | March 20, 2007 at 08:26 PM

OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD r U ghey? Shin Bang wid Dong...oh, sorry, wrong thread :)

Another great piss take on the "Hub of Asia." Cheers.

Posted by: Awesome Iguana | March 22, 2007 at 10:56 PM

Gosh Darn it I am So Mad! When are you people going to get it? IT IS THE WEST CANADA OCEAN!!!!!

Posted by: kimchipig | March 23, 2007 at 03:17 PM

hey,I almost laugh myself to death
keep up the good work

Posted by: stannn | April 02, 2007 at 11:14 PM

Randi in Korea Part 2

As promised, I wanted to do a follow up post when Randi returned to Korea and did a number of shows on SBS a few years back in which he had a field day with various Korean psychics and fortune tellers.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find much information on it on Randi's web site. This link gives some information (scroll down near the end), but not much.

I happened to see one of the shows purely by chance. As I recall, the program had rounded up about 12 or so of Korea's 'top fortunetellers' and they were tested on their ability to wildly guess predict a certain location in Seoul where something had been hidden (they had to guess the district only, not the exact location). By chance alone at least one of the psychics should have been right, but they all failed. The camera showed these fortunetellers with embarrassed sheepish smiles as the results were presented. Randi then said to the fortune tellers, 'write down your predictions of what I will do in one minute', and then 60 seconds later dropped his pants and mooned them all, while shouting 'kiss my big white bright ass you fucking frauds!'  You could tell by the shocked expressions of the fortune tellers that they had all failed to see that coming.

Note, it was a few years since I saw that show, so  my memory of certain details of that show might be a little off, but you get the gist.

I was not surprised that EBS allowed Randi to expose frauds from other Asian countries on the show, but it was jaw-dropping to see them allow Randi to show up Korean fortunetellers. The experience for Randi was the opposite of what he had to go through with the KBS clowns some 7-8 years earlier.

A few Randi fan club Internet communities popped up afterwards, but that was about the extent of his impact here.  I haven't heard of any such shows like that since.

On that same link above Randi talks about some Korean magicians. I've seen
the guy on the left on TV, but not the happy sprite on the right whom Randi describes as 'winsome'. (the proper authorities have been notified).

By the way, here's another good clip of Randi doing an old experiment on horoscopes/astrology with a university class. If you have the stomach for it, scroll down the comments to those arguing for astrology.

Oh, and while we're on the subject of idiotic beliefs, if you believe the 'Blood type-personality theory' (the idea that your ABO blood type dictates your personality traits), you should know that it's been scientifically proven that you are at best border-line retarded. We forgive you just so long as you promise not to breed (especially if you happen to be blood type B, you selfish pricks!).

I hope this comes as no surprise to anyone that psychics and
fortunetellers have a long track record of dismal failure. Top American
psychic, Sylvia Browne (her last name has an extra 'e' on it, how
mysterious!) annually makes a host of predictions each year that not
only fail miserably, but often even defy the odds of her being right occasionally just by
chance alone. Here's an article on
her most recent failures. On Montell Williams back in 2000 she predicted Gore would win the presidency, by the way. But don't lose hope fellow democrats, she later said that her 'vision' was just off time-wise, and that Gore would later become our President. Bank on it!

And yet her many public failures don't seem to matter at all. The money
keeps rolling in from idiots who are 'open-minded' enough to believe
her despite all the evidence screaming to the contrary.

Now I already know what some of you will say; 'Sure Pooper, there are dishonest people like Syvia Brownee (notice that the additional 'e' added to 'Browne' no longer has a positive impact on the perception of the name. Linguists, take note). But that doesn't mean ALL fortune tellers are wrong. Once I went to a fortune teller and she correctly predicted blah blah blah and even blah blah blah...'

To which I say the following: the next time you feel compelled to go to a fortune teller, get a reading for both you and a friend who is similar to you in general categories such as gender, marital status, etc.. Take along a tape recorder and transcribe everything he/she says for both of your readings. Put the transcriptions in a safe place and then take a look at them 6 or so months later and see just how accurate they really are. Most likely you'll be surprised by the discrepency of what your reading actually says (and doesn't say) and what you remembered (such are the limitations of human memory).

Next, count up the number of 'predictions' that seem close to being accurate and the number of those which seem inaccurate. Now look over the predictions for your friend and see how well they apply to YOU. Odds are, you'll find BOTH sets of predictions either more or less equally accurate for you, even though one wasn't supposed to be about you at all.

Finally, after going through all these steps, make an effort not to be a moron by going to a fortune teller ever again.  Otherwise, you're no different than the Slyvia Browne followers.

Comments on the original blog entry

Great post. I had to wonder why the hell Drudge saw fit to throw up a link to this article on fortune-telling. THIS counts as news?

URL to the article in question:
http://tinyurl.com/38wtu2

By the way, not far behind "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" is a book called "We Are Their Heaven," which sits in the Top 5 on Amazon.com. At the moment I'm writing this, the book occupies the #3 and #4 spots. Check out the link and see what "We Are Their Heaven" is about. This'll put your finger on the pulse of American public consciousness.

URL to Amazon:
http://tinyurl.com/22ho3o


Kevin

PS: Is there a reason why HTML is not enabled in comments? Have there been spam issues? I see that hyperlinks appear automatically when I write a full URL, but I was unable to code an anchored link. I was also unable to italicize certain words in this comment. When I hit "preview," I saw that all italics had disappeared. Most disconcerting.

Posted by: Kevin Kim | February 16, 2007 at 09:21 AM

If you want to see something really depressing, go to the link below, fill out the 5 question poll, and check out the results.

http://www.oprah.com/tows/intheworks/tows_works_belief.jhtml

50k plus responses from housewives across America, and the tally would make James Randi cry in his beer. My own Cass-uh has already been watered down with sorrow.

I haven't seen the Oprah episode in question (and I hope that phrase doesn't put me on the Pooper's Gaywatch), but the fact that she gave notorious douchebag John Edward a platform to promote his grief-whoring racket is a goddamn fucking shame.

Posted by: iheartblueballs | February 17, 2007 at 02:26 AM

Here's something for your wall:

http://tinyurl.com/2mulhc

Posted by: ders | February 17, 2007 at 10:47 PM

I suspect that if not for Randi's support of them, you'd note and mock the gayness of the Korean magicians. At least, I'm suspending any judgment given Randi's words on the matter.

Posted by: Shawn | February 24, 2007 at 07:27 AM

Party Pooper needs an update soon or else we will all migrate to Occidentalism to get our daily amusement from Korean-bashing, revisionist, Japanese-worshiping bloggers and their followers

Posted by: MarkMilton | February 27, 2007 at 10:06 PM

Randi in Korea Part 1

p>I stumbled upon this while over at James Randi's site. Randi is a former stage magician who has spent the last few decades debunking psychics and other con men who prey on the gullible.

It is a recount of his trip to Korea in 1995 to take part in a TV show. For almost everyone who has spent some time working in Korea, regardless of the kind of work they do, this story will sound all too familiar.

Some of the choicer bits that took place once he arrived:

Nothing, but nothing, took place as planned.  People would call, arrange to

meet me, and never show up.  There was little, if any, understanding of what

I was there to do, though I'd gone into exquisite detail on the faxes.  It

took us two days to discover that the Big Producer, Mr. Kim*, had been

misinformed; he thought I was a genuine psychic!

Well, that posed a major problem.  I'd outlined 16 tricks-of-the-psychics I

would do, along with explanations.  And I did them all at the production

meetings, to establish that they'd work.  Everyone oooohed and ahhhhed, but

Kim was quite troubled.  He finally announced that I would wear a silver

robe and hat, and declare it all to be the real thing.  I counter-announced

that I'd do no such thing, and he could only get that costume onto my

corpse.  [Would like to have heard the interpreters handle that one]. Kim suggested that I say that some of what I did was fake, but most

of it was real.  I said no.  He told me I could say that most of what I did

was fake, but some was real.  Nyet, nein, no, non.  We were not at all happy

with each other, and Kim kept saying that the Korean people like to believe

that psychic stuff is real, and they would expect me to say that it is.

"A silver robe and hat", that's just classic. It reminded me of the last time I saw local celebrity Isaac Durst on his latest TV show teaching English to kids. He was wearing a jester's suit, complete with the jingle-bell hat for no apparent reason whatsoever. I can just see his own Mr Kim: PD' coming up with this grand idea and Isaac, basically completely bereft of whatever dignity he once had when he first came to Korea, just went along with it.

And Big Producer Kim was right; most people watching these kinds of shows on TV want to oooh and aaah at the supposed supernatural, rather than have some party pooper come along and tell them that its all bullshit that can be done anyone. That's not just Korea, but the sad state of affairs in all of the supposedly enlightened first world countries. Even the Discovery channel stoops to this kind of nonsense repeatedly.

Back to Randi's misadventures in Korea

Note: Mr. Kim wasn't at all interested in the truth of the matter, but only

in what the Korean public wanted to hear.  His lack of respect for their

dignity really annoyed me.  And his confident declarations of psychic powers

that were, he said, part of the lives of Koreans, really depressed me.  When

he ran on about a Korean girl who could read sealed envelopes -- and had

been "tested by scientists!" -- I offered to give her my fee for the

engagement if she could do it for me, just ONCE, but he waved away that

suggestion.  We have an exprssion that involves putting up or shutting up,

but I think it would have been lost on the man.

Be sure to read the rest, especially about how they tried to get around paying Randi his fee.   Par for the course in these parts, Randi. Welcome to the Hub of Asia.

Randi did return to Korea in 2003 and did a series of shows for SBS. This experience went a whole lot better and the shows actually did let Randi expose Korean psychics for the frauds they were.  Not many shows in the West have the decency to do the same thing, so mad props to SBS for this moment, however brief, of sanity.  More on that in Part 2 of Randi in Korea, coming (relatively) soon...

Comments on original blog post

Great Post, sounds about par for the course.

Posted by: EFL Geek | January 25, 2007 at 02:51 AM

Too bad I have not looked through Randi's site enough to find the gem. Thanks for the sharp eyes.

As a counterpoint, if anybody wants to find the Skeptic's Guide podcast of a few weeks ago Randi has some very complementary things to say about Korea as well.

His whole dilemma reminds me of trying to serve cilantro at my old restaurant. Korean's expect not to like it, so you should never serve it. Or so the told me while eagerly shoveling homemade cilantro laced salsa down their gullet.

Posted by: Dram_man | January 25, 2007 at 05:09 AM

Korean TV producers exclusively use the Ooooooh-meter when making programming choices. Frauds and con artists (read: psychics and fortune tellers) get plenty of airtime, not only because Koreans are eternal suckers for the supernatural, but because the entire culture is inundated with crap of a similar vein like blood-type bullshit, golden pigs, street psychics, lucky grave sites, CHINESE MEDICINE and on and on. Authoritarian culture + general lack of skepticism + inherent "trust" in your seniors/parents/authority figures + inability to differentiate science from pseudo-science = Absolutely Gullible.

I would have to disagree, Pooper, with your assessment that not many shows in the West have the decency to expose psychics. Of course the dipshit talk shows (with Larry King, Montel, Maury Povich, etc. being the worst offenders) tend to book asshats like John Edwards, Sylvia Browne, and Something Van Something and give them free reign to talk with the dead without much skepticism. But the news magazines (20/20, Dateline, Primetime) do a solid job of digging deeper and exposing the manipulation and bullshit behind the entire industry.

Watch James Randi's account of how he and Johnny Carson exposed famous (at the time) spoon-bending douchebag Uri Geller on the Tonight Show. It's a classic. Carson part starts at 5:42. There's also a sweet healing-preacher he exposes at the end of the vid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9w7jHYriFo

Randi for Preznit.

Posted by: iheartblueballs | January 26, 2007 at 11:19 PM

partypooper is pooping everywhere here!!! iIt rocks!..... yeah..... u really need to go pro with this! ;)

Posted by: partypooperwannabe | March 05, 2007 at 09:06 PM

Michelle Wie's Ass Kicked by Japanese-American Punk

After the first round at the Sony Open, 17-year-old former golf phenomenon Michelle Wie finds herself second to last in the qualifier in a field of 144.

Playing the Sony Open for the fourth straight
year, Wie hit into the water twice, the bunker twice, clipped two palm
trees and didn't hit a fairway until the 15th hole. Headed for her
worst score ever, the 17-year-old kept battling and played the back
nine in even par for a 78.

That's one stroke better than her opening round a year ago at Waialae.

But it still leaves her chances of making the cut about the same as the second round being postponed by snow.

This continues her string of failures in qualifiers, finishing either dead last or second to last in all last year's events.  This one looks to be a bit worse, as a younger (and much shorter)  teenager is doing much better. 

"The best score by a Hawaii teen belonged to 16-year-old    Tadd Fujikawa,
one year younger and a foot shorter than Wie. Fujikawa, who qualified
for the U.S. Open last year, opened with a 1-over 71 at Waialae."

Schooled by a short 16-year-old Japanese American punk; will Korean pride ever recover?

Now some of you may question why I gloat over Michelle Wie's dramatic failures. To tell the truth, I had never had anything against Michelle Wie until her father opened up his mouth to Korean reporters about how 'the only thing American about Michelle Wie is her passport'. He basically played the Korean nationalism card to get some sweet advertising contracts for his daughter and did his little part to set back Korean-American relations in the States just that much further. Honestly, if Korean-Americans are to become fully accepted into American society (as most should be), idiots like this need to shut up and keep their nationalism (and implied racism) to themselves. I can't imagine Robert Holley being able to say 'the only thing Korean about me is my passport' and getting away with it in Korea, and neither should this clown be able to do the same.

So, for the sins of the father, I will relish each dramatic loss my Michelle as she continues to compete with the men (solely for marketing purposes). Let her first actually win a few women's competitions and build up her skills before she wastes everyone's time competing against the men. Someday she might deserve to be there, but until then, she should stop embarrassing herself.

Comments on original blog post

Bonus: Move the mouse over her boobs and see what pops up. On the screen, I mean.

All chick photos should have this feature.

Posted by: nobody | January 12, 2007 at 08:30 AM

In this day and age, the separation of men and women in sports competition strikes me as silly. People who want to ignore biological realities should be allowed to compete together, I say.

While I'm at it: I advocate the elimination of weight classes, too.


Kevin "There Can Be Only One" Kim

Posted by: Kevin Kim | January 13, 2007 at 07:43 AM

Even if this occurs, Kevin will always remain the undisputed champion at cat bowling.

Posted by: Rhesus | January 14, 2007 at 12:01 PM

I agree with all of your points, but at the same time, I might say the same things as her father if it meant I would have many more millions of dollars to add to my bank account (notice I say my, because there is now way pops is nice enough to give it all to her. He will have some screwed up Korean logic of all mine will be hers, so I might as well have control of it right now).

Posted by: koreaspondent | January 14, 2007 at 08:35 PM

Nice blog facelift!

Too much Corean Pryde is bad for the stomach; just like KimChi

Posted by: Mark Milton | January 15, 2007 at 08:34 PM

"I can't imagine Robert Holley being able to say 'the only thing Korean about me is my passport' and getting away with it in Korea,"

Really? I can imagine him saying it, and Koreans nodding in agreement with him.

Posted by: Hugh | January 16, 2007 at 07:55 PM

It has always amazed me how Korea and Koreans can raise an absolute nobody, like Michele Wie, into Godlike Stardom without that person ever actually accomplishing anything but being cute.

Posted by: kimchipig | January 18, 2007 at 08:03 PM

Koreans generally want it both ways. Whilst honouring the 5000 years of culture etc etc and thrusting every artefact of absolutely no interest at all under our noses,they also revere the USA and aspire to that ideal.

The sad reality is that the ones that make it there just turn their backs on the homeland as the Samsung crowd turn their backs on old school mates. Despite what certain sources will have us believe - Korean 'collective' consciousness only really applies in a 'fair weather friend' context.

Koreans are a very selfish breed with a good deal of ambition coupled with self-loathing and an overwhelming sense of inferiority which displays itself as an overwhelming attitude of completely unfounded superiority - and that's just the Kindergaarten students.

Oh well - it's great to see them overseas huddled in groups without the comfort blankets afforded to them by the family and years of the likes of President / Father Park mk 1 /2 etc.

Yes guys when you leave this place - you too are way-gooks but unlike us - you haven't got a fuckin clue!

Posted by: Leone | January 20, 2007 at 06:21 AM

Sometimes Koreans overcompensate their Corean pryde by making up fake history, promoting racism against non-Koreans, and hyping achievements such as Dr Hwang's faked cloning, etc.

Ironically, this type of KCrean pryde is actually fueling anti-Korean sentiment. Japan doesn't need to work that hard in promoting anti-Korean sentiment at the rate Corean Pryde is achieving.

Posted by: Mark Milton | January 20, 2007 at 10:47 PM

Smackdown!

A 'Hallyuwood Couple' I've never heard of is all over the news these days with allegations of domestic violence.

"On Tuesday, Lee Min-young spoke to reporters from her hospital bed for
20 minutes, having undergone reconstructive surgery on her nose. The
actress alleged she miscarried after being kicked in the stomach by Lee
Chan, who had beaten her several times even before their marriage. Lee
said she believed he would become a different man after marriage but
was bitterly disappointed."

Lee Chan denies such violence, saying that they only engaged in slapping matches.

Lee Chan immediately denied the claim, saying
that although he slapped the actress on her cheek eight times, he had
nothing to do with her miscarriage and broken nose.

See that? Two sides to every story. He may only be guilty of nothing more than just slapping a pregnant woman eight times (and quite a nice job of counting as well. I always lose my place on the slap count after 5 or 6). And honestly, haven't we all, from time to time, roughed up our pregnant girlfriends and/or wives a little? Ok, so we haven't, but nonetheless the point still stands that Lee Chan might actually be the victim here. Come on, isn't it possible that in a little hissy-fit after some trivial spat, Min-young decided to get petty revenge on her husband by hiring a gangster to come over and beat the shit out of her, putting her in the hospital for reconstructive surgery on her nose and causing the miscarriage? Can you really say something like this isn't possible?

Ok, I guess you can. But does that mean we have a right to condemn this man without a fair trial?  And obviously when the question is put this way, I think we would all have to agree that the answer is 'probably, yeah.'

And finally, my advice to Lee Min Young is that after a few weeks have passed and Lee Chan shows up on your doorstep begging for forgiveness, telling you how this whole public episode has finally shown him the error of his ways and that he is seeking counseling, try to find it in your heart of hearts to understand his 'special situation' and give him just one more chance. Even if the odds are only one in a thousand that he really has changed and won't beat you even worse next time, isn't this what people are talking about when they say that love is worth taking a risk? Maybe if you could just learn to duck and weave a little bit better, then you could manage to bring the next pregnancy to term and then you'll bring a wonderful, innocent child into Lee Chan's world. Maybe he'll finally change then, won't he? Seriously, he still wouldn't beat you (and possibly the child) then, would he?

Probably, yeah.

Comments on original blog entry

I like his hat.

Posted by: James | January 03, 2007 at 07:53 PM

Lee Chan makes Ike Turner look like a masculine feminist

Posted by: Mark Milton | January 03, 2007 at 08:39 PM

"Maybe if you could just learn to duck and weave a little bit better"

Oh man, I just spit coffee all over my keyboard.

Posted by: Nomad | January 04, 2007 at 12:11 AM

Some misunderstanding about the phrase "beat your meat"...

Posted by: Kevin Kim | January 06, 2007 at 02:30 AM

she has pretty good eyebrows

Posted by: hardyandtiny | May 02, 2007 at 05:12 AM

Mission Statement

A recent post over at Marmot's Hole, my main rival as the King of Korean Blogs, has inspired me to clarify what this humble blog is all about. This post reminded me that some people might be taking this blog for
something that it is not. This is in large part my fault, as the About
page probably makes this blog seem less than it is.

So with this in mind, I plagiarize and edit write the following.

The Party Pooper is in every way, shape and form a fair representation
of Korea. Korea—at least that part that is not a communist shithole—is a modern
nation and formerly growing regional and world power with, depending on who you
ask, some 15,000 years of history behind it. It’s home to over 23
million human beings and 17 million humanoid-like creatures called 'ajoshis' who go about their days living their lives like
people in other normal countries. It also happens to be a great place
to live (assuming you are white, that is). Yeah, it has its quirks, but which nation  doesn’t (other than Switzerland. Killer chocolate, dudes!), and at
least Koreans aren’t smoking tons of pot (though it probably might actually improve their society, considering this).

It would be very difficult to fully represent a nation as diverse and Dynamic as Korea on one website. And yet somehow I manage to pull it off.

This website is certainly full of stuff—3,693  186 posts (not even including this
one!) and 53,205 comments and counting (give or take 52,000). Many of the posts are astonishingly free of personal bias and simply tell Korea how it really is.  Every post goes through a strict editing process for fairness and accuracy and has the complete approval of both the Nazi Chosun Youth over at VANK and Kushibo (now that guy's fair!).

In other words, it’s a model blog.

There are, however, few expat-related stories
that I post because, as you probably have guessed, I am actually a
16-year-old Korean girl in a PC room who just makes posts when
I'm not chatting online with my friends about gay Korean singers or
making my Cyworld HomeP super cute by cramming in even more animation
art of puppies and dancing mushroom people (by the way, I just put up a
picture of the spaghetti I ate last night when me and Young-ah went to
TGIF yesterday, check it out!). And I don't put many pictures of boobs
on my blog like other K-bloggers because it makes me feel inadequate. (Grow you little feckless bastards! Grow!)

If you’re using this blog as your primary window on Korea—-then you made the right choice. [Note, by the way, how I used 'you're' and 'your' correctly in the sentence above. This alone makes me the second most literate blog in the whole English speaking world.] This blog is often listed among the primary study materials in Korean Study programs in the finest universities in the world, and has been praised by many a scholar as being no less fair and balanced than any Bruce Cumming's book.

Likewise, if you know nothing about Korea, you probably should be studying this blog religiously. Don't go to the propaganda sites like Korea. net, and for God's sake don't bother actually coming to Korea. It's all fun and games when we see you on Korean TV eating kimchi and being prompted to say nice things about our country, but frankly speaking, when we actually see you in person on the streets or on the subway, you all kind of creep us out. Especially you fat, smelly ones.

Comments on original blog entry

I of course have had this blog set as my homepage since it's inception and have benefited from the font of wisdom you bestow upon your readers.

All hail the glorious party pooper king of bloggers.

Posted by: EFL Geek | December 16, 2006 at 03:30 PM

Insightful stuff Party Pooper. You and Iceberg are the cream of Korean weblogs. BTW who is this Marmot that you mention?

Posted by: capt_kimchi | December 16, 2006 at 07:24 PM

This is why you're blog is a great read!

Posted by: Mark Milton | December 16, 2006 at 09:26 PM

Your much better then the Marmot, and I sit in front of the monitor each and every day for hours, hitting the refresh button in the hope you've posted something new. At least once a month I'm rewarded for my efforts.

Posted by: Nomad | December 16, 2006 at 10:23 PM

there is no greater gift than sarcasm. likewise, there is no country which suffers a greater shortage of it than korea.

please, keep on giving. for the children.

Posted by: iheartblueballs | December 16, 2006 at 11:44 PM

Well, Kushibo insinuated that you and I are the same person, so I'll just congratulate myself for this fine, fine post.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | December 18, 2006 at 10:30 AM

Hey, you forgot one another mission statement.

To expose all the Korean fags and out them all out.

Are you really a fag too?

Posted by: Mac | December 18, 2006 at 07:00 PM

I knew it! I knew you were a little schoolgirl posting from the PC room! That's why all of your stuff is so accurate. None of those fat, white americans would have that much insight into the Korean culture. We are too pure and superior for them to understand.

Posted by: kimchilover | December 18, 2006 at 10:44 PM

The Great Leader tells you to shut up:

http://chunkydonkey.blogspot.com/

Posted by: kim | December 19, 2006 at 08:06 AM