Tuesday, July 6, 2004

Love Letter to Kyoung Hee

[Old blog entry from previous site. Old news, but Lee Kyoung Hee's stupidity in general is still topical.]


The first woman to become an editor of a major newspaper in Korea is Lee Kyoung Hee (Korea Herald). Unfortunately, she's also a reactionary idiot. Her editorials are usually pointless summaries of whatever the issue of the day might be, but when she does actually put forward an argument she reveals herself to be even more biased and lacking in reason than the useful fools over at the Hankoryeh.

Here's a piece she did when the US forces refused to pay money to Korean residents of Maehyang-ri who complained of damages from the US firing range.

[Sorry, link only works now for "premium subscribers" of which I am not. Note to self: in the future always copy and save articles I link to. Basically she summarizes the verdict in favor of the residents in a Korean court and then demands that the US forces in Korea help pay. Here's another article that summarizes the issue]

Having described the court decision, Kyoung Hee then gives her own "opinion" on the issue.

Therefore, it defies our understanding why the U.S. Forces Korea refuse to pay their share of the 194 million won paid by our government to 14 residents of Maehyang-ri who recently won a damages lawsuit for noise caused by a firing range located in their village.

Defies your understanding? Yes, I’m sure it does, just like it defies my dog’s understanding why I always shit in a toilet and not in the dark corner of the living room by the sofa (Petey's favorite dumping ground before I learned him to shit on my neighbor's lawn and not in the house). Possible reason for these lacks of understanding? Two words: one starts with an “I,” the other starts with a “Q”

And what is the US army's excuse for not paying? The infamous SOFA.

It states that the Korean government will assure the use of facilities and "hold the U.S. government, as well as its agencies and employees, harmless from any third party claims which may be advanced in connection with such use."

Gosh. Seems quite clear to me, yet our big editor just can't seem to figure out what that means.

Pardon me for a moment while I try to help Kyoung Hee's lack of understanding.

Dear Kyoung Hee
[I’m not really familiar with her to normally call her by her given name, but in Korean customs it is ok to address an unfamiliar person by his or her given name if that person is subordinate to the speaker in terms of IQ by more than 30 points, which even I appear to clear by quite a comfortable margin]

You’ve written another big editorial! Good for you! And you used a new big word ("equilibrium"). Somebody’s been using her Learner’s Dictionary!! Later, I’d like to teach you another fancy word you can use someday: cretinous. Don’t worry about it now; you can look it up later.

I can see from your latest editorial that once again you have become confused by the icky-complicated real world of adults. Let me explain their reasoning to you simply.

Korea provides facilities to the US forces. Why? So the US army can do their job. What is their job? Protecting your asses from the madman up north. You have asked/begged us to do this for over 50 years now. With me so far sweetie?

Now, a firing range is a needed facility. The army practices shooting big guns there. They need to do this. Why? It is considered a good idea for soldiers to actually know how to shoot their big guns when attacked. Practice is a good thing. It would really suck to have a million North Koreans storming over the DMZ (despite all the love that's been going on between the Koreas, that's still exactly what the NK troops are positioned to do) and have to take time to find the instruction manual on how to make big gun go boom.

Now if the firing range is too close to Korean residents, this is a problem. Now, whose problem is it? The US army who is only using the land YOU gave them to do something YOU need them to do? Or was it YOUR mistake when you gave the US this land? Take your time with that one. No one is rushing you.

You really shouldn’t give the US army land to build a firing range on and then later say, “Oh, by the way, the land we gave you for the firing range is too close to some of our citizens, you’ll have to pay them big bucks.” That’s not very nice. It’s also not very fair. Yes, I’m accusing Korea of trying to be unfair to the US.

Uh-oh, I see I’ve just made you very upset and dizzy. I sense your emotions have already suppressed the portions of your brain that control logical thinking and we aren’t going to get any further today. Better sit down and do some deep breathing. Calm blue ocean….calm blue ocean…

Ok, you’d better go now. I’d like to talk to the adults again.

So what is Kyoung Hee's problem? I've narrowed it down to four possibilities.

 Physiologically brain impaired
 Divorced (making a person, as fellow Kor-blogger Oranckay noted here (scroll down for the comments), incapable of functioning reasonably for the rest of his/her life)
 Temporarily insane whenever nationalistic issues arise
 Constantly drunk

I don't have all the answers, but I'm thinking it's more than just one.

I don’t know what university she graduated from, but whichever one it is they owe the women's movement in Korea and intelligent people everywhere a big apology.

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