Word to the wise: if you visit the board and scroll through the messages, limit yourself to only 2 pages a day at most. If you find yourself go further back through the messages in one sitting you WILL regret the time lost that could have been used more productively (like masturbating to pictures like these). [note: for best results, click on this link at work when your boss and several co-workers are nearby] That was for all expats in Asia who might be forgeting what you left behind back in the west.
For those of you who were not made blind by the last link, let's continue.
The post below was an exchange between Forgotit and Rocksteady, two of the more colorful characters on the board.
The Lucy Liu Debate
Years ago the editors of the Korean Herald had simple but bold dream: to gather the intellectual giants of the 21st century on one forum to discuss the pressing issues of the day. The dream has become reality, and now one can log on and drink deeply from the fountain of knowledge and wisdom that daily spews forth for all to enjoy. Let it wash over, caress and cleanse you. Drink from this water and thou shalt never thirst again.
Here’s a sampling of what waits for you.
Forum debate panel (I took the liberty of finding pictures that fit my image of the debate members)
"YY"
YY: Korean, single female, early thirties, works in an international trading company. YY is a regular member of the Korean Herald forum, a talented artist, and in the imagination of several American Gis on the board, a sex hungry vixen.
"Rock Steady"
Rocksteady: Former US military man, now a celebrated author and successful entrepreneur (wrote a book on Korean bar secrets and runs a bar himself down in Taegu, or “the goo,” as he likes to call it).
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"Forgotit"
Forgotit: Warrior, poet, philosopher: Forgotit is truly a many splendored thing. Forgotit currently works for the US army in Korea as a contractor and reportedly makes more money than you do.
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YY starts tonight’s debate with this opening statement.
YY: Is she pretty? Lucy Liu , Is she pretty to Americans? It’s so strange to me.
Americans have unique odd eyes. In our eyes or our Asian eyes, she is close to ugly face..
If she was in asia, she wouldn't be on the movie.
Forgotit: Well, she does something for me. Buddy, Buddy, Buddy!!!! Man thats all good, check her out in "Payback", I still have dreams of being corrected by her any day, even if my homework was right on it or not. I mean goddamn, look at that, even the Pope would agree, she is fine. I bet she can make the Pope stand up beg for Hot Biscuits and Butter Milk, I know she can make 99.8% men stand up. Hey that reminds me are you man or a fag, because if you are....
[editor’s note: according to current Korea Gaywatch Project data, YY is not as of yet suspected of being a gay homosexual]
Rocksteady: she's not all that pretty but certainly most guys would do her hard. She has a cute little rack and a butt built to take ferocious beatings in stride.
Forgotit: Exactly!!!!! Like I was saying 10 miles on a hard road or something like that pretty. When I think about all that stuff bottled up inside me, I just want to tear something apart, make sweat as much me. Opps, yeah she is fine isn't she!
[Editor’s Note: Forgotit does seem to find his inspiration from a muse far beyond the understanding of most mortal men (and grammarians). Readers may find it best to approach his works as a stream of consciousness that one must not struggle too hard to understand, but simply flow with while absorbing the imagery.]
Rocksteady: well, the truth is I would beat the living hell out of her. Death by sperm overdose for her or dehydration for me. Somebody is going to give up the ghost!
Forgotit: Yeah, and it might as well be me. Just like kick starting a Honda, you got to beat on it a while---leave it alone and go back and kick it some more.
Rocksteady: I think it's wise to fuck the pee out of them all. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing hard
[editor’s note: you ARE writing all this down, right? This is from a man of extensive ‘ho experience. Imagine living in Korea for 20+ years spending most of your free time in "entertainment districts" like Songtan and Itaewon. He literally wrote the book on the subject.]
Forgotit: Damn boy, your just as every bit as a Rascal as me, nice to meet me? Lets see if we can contact her Agent and see if we can both have lunch with her one day for a little sandwitch action, I got "Top Stop", I aways get top stop in these special situations!
Rocksteady: she's got three holes and there's only two of us. We ought to be able to work out the details. We'll have our lawyers hash out the fine details. Bring plenty of gatorade. We're going to do this little bitch hard and mean. Don't worry, she'll love it.
Forgotit: Nah! now that you mention it my Evil Twin Brother, Chuck, will be in Hollywood for a Script Reading for a part for "Iron Sheep, Determined Farm Boy". Maybe we can fit him in somewhere, but we better let him go last. See he kinda hard on the little things, and they ain't must [much?] to look at when he is done. That stupid shit use to ruin many of Prom Nights for some unwilling Juniors and Seniors Varsity Cheerleaders, the top notch shit. Lets see, I think it is 24 years and counting, that stupid clown still slips in the parties.
Now that I think of it screw him, I'm tired of that clown in my shadows. Hell I'll fill in for him, just like dealing cards, got make them know they are being dealt with right! I bring what I got, you make sure your doing your end right, and none of that screwing the pouch wiening either, I like mine to screeming like a Banchee.
Rocksteady: bring along some batteries and cables. We'll keep YY on her toes while she's curling ours.
YY: You often tell about sperm in your messages and you are very interested in people eating sperm.
So , i have question.
Do americans eat sperm as a meal?
Is there a sperm can in the market?
How do you cook it?
Boil it with little sugar,and oil in the pot?
Rocksteady: Very relevant questions: here are the answers.
1. I am only interested in girls eating my goo, not anyone else's.
2. American girls (like all other girls) sometimes eat the goo as a meal. Yes, thta is true. It is supposed to be fat free and hugh in protein.
3.There is no sperm can on the market that I know of but this is more a question for a cumsucker.
4. You don't need to cook it. It;'s already cooked at 98.6 degrees F. Just roll it on your tongus and take it in one gulp. No fair dribbleing either.
5. No sugar or oil or pots necessary. You may drink it straight from the tap.
Rocksteady [repost] Sorry about the earlier mis-spelled words etc. here it is again cleaned up for the masses.
1. I am only interested in girls eating my goo, not anyone else's.
2. American girls (like all other girls) sometimes eat the goo as a meal. Yes, that is true. It is supposed to be fat free and high in protein.
3.There is no sperm can on the market that I know of but this is more a question for a cumsucker. Ask Rose, PMB Or McGhoul this one.
4. You don't need to cook it. It;'s already cooked at 98.6 degrees F.
Just roll it on your tongus and take it in one gulp. No fair dribbleing either.
5. No sugar or oil or pots necessary. You may drink it straight from the tap. Good luck and good guzzling! I'm sure you'll do well and have plenty of donators available to practise on.
[I included both Rocksteady’s original post on the “goo issue” and his corrected repost as I thought it might be of value to literary scholars interested in a more complete textual analysis.]
Well, I think that should be enough for you all to digest for some time. Be sure to return to the Forum for next week’s debate (topic: Sociopolitical Analysis on the Generative Mechanism of the Korean Welfare State Abstract and whether or not YY is wearing any panties).
Some more tidbits coming soon...
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