Konglish Slogans

A happy fun article on korea company inadequate using English of.

These companies need professional help and since they are obviously too cheap to get it, I hereby volunteer my services with the following proposed changes.

KTF--Have a good time!       

Should be commended for at least forming an intelligible sentence. However, the slogan is irrelevant to the product and just comes across as silly.   Proposed change:

KTF--Love you long time!

This creates very endearing, nostalgic images of Asia that are still cherished by many in the West.

KB: Think Star                                

[Completely meaningless. I suggest the following change:

KB: Think Deathstar

A powerful symbol of strength and authority. People will definitely think twice before skipping out on college loans from a bank with this slogan. This picture almost works with the new slogan as is, though it would be better if they had their stormtrooper riot gear on.

SBS Humanism through Digital       

Barf. Someone please tell me the marketing team didn't spend over 2 weeks and God only knows how many man hours coming up with this nonsense. Suggested change:

SBS: Oh the Humanism!

The ad should be complete with the SBS blimp going down in flames (they do have a blimp, don't they?). Would be very symbolic of what the Korean media is doing to the country.

Seoul Milk: Milk itself                    

As noted in the article, strange images arise if you consider 'milk' as a verb. Why not just go directly to these slogans:

Seoul Milk: Milk Me!

[Cue Beavis and Butthead chuckling here]

For the women (and Leone over at Mincing), Nelly could do the advertising with just a slight change of wording to the slogan:

Seoul Milk: Milk This!

"But Mr. Partypooper," the Korean ad execs say, "milk does not come from man."

"Uh, yeah. It's one of them metaphor thingies. Trust me on this one" I reply with a sagely grin.

[Check here for some other interesting milk ads I stumbled across. The second and third are ok, but the first one I found a little disturbing. Another cute picture to amuse the immature.]

KT&G: Korea Tomorrow and Global          

Uh...what?

How about this?

FD&C: Feast, Domain and Context

I choose these three words by opening the dictionary to three random pages. I don't think I did that much worse that the original.

Some other Korean company slogans from the recent past that could use a little changing:

Change the morning                    

[Change your English editor]

Get a success!                           

[Get a clue!]

And my all-time favorite:

We've  

Ah yes, that meaningless, unfinished sentence that passes itself off as a name for apartment building complexes. Doesn't this just make you want to grab the Korean ad execs by the throat and scream:  "We've WHAT! What the hell have you people done! Finish the damn sentence!"

I think the Korean equivalent of this kind of nonsensical grammar fragment would be a slogan like: 갰다!

Yeah, I like that. Maybe that could the official slogan for this blog?

The Party Pooper: 갰다!

Other ideas for Konglish slogans for me bloog:

The Party Pooper: 10 Thousand Years! (guess the literal translation from Korean)

The Party Pooper: Dynamic Know-How of Blog!

The Party Pooper: The World's Greatest Aspirin [wait, that dumb-ass name has already been taken]

The Party Pooper: Digital Well-being! [The trendy Konglish phrase of the year]

The Party Pooper: Be the Bitchy Expats

I love them all. Maybe I should just rotate them.

Comments from original post


Great post, Scott...deserves to go into the PP hall of fame.

Posted by: Nomad | July 09, 2005 at 03:50 PM

Welcome to your new cyber happy!

Party Pooper long collegiate!

Korea juice celestial runs!

Samsung Noble Valence Tech

Naver: Think the bigger nova!

It'll!

Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | July 10, 2005 at 03:59 AM

Oh, yeah-- almost forgot:

Fondle your pink dreams!

Never sweat hanky up again!

Dollop in of country!

No dog can't but love the snarl flavor!


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | July 10, 2005 at 04:02 AM

Haha Kevin. You're in the wrong business - instead of teaching, you should be designing t-shirts and catchy slogans. I can imagine the looks on tourist's faces upon arriving in Incheon and seeing a huge banner proclaiming "Welcome to Korea - fondle your pink dreams!"

Posted by: Nomad | July 10, 2005 at 08:55 PM

How about the company names that just repeat the same word twice, like "Bread & Bread"? WTF? And have you seen the "We've Pavilion" downtown? WTWTF??? But it's more than a little ironic that the Korea Times is pointing out improper English use.

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Posted by: Michael | July 10, 2005 at 10:12 PM

Milk This? Thank you for thinking of me but don't flatter yourself sweetheart - ha ha.

Posted by: Leone | July 10, 2005 at 10:55 PM

Just so you know, KT&G's new name/slogan is a way to cover up the original name of the company--Korea Tobacco & Ginseng.

Posted by: FYI | July 11, 2005 at 06:06 AM

Big Ho--your Konglish Kung-fu is indeed mighty. 'Welcome to your new cyber happy' is my favorite, by the by, followed closely by 'It'll'

Michael--forgot about the word repetition. There's a 'Donut and Donut' shop where I used to live. It was a great place to go if you ever needed a donut. They also sold donuts, by the way.

Leone--if I don't flatter myself, who will?

FYI--Ah...it almost makes sense now. Thanks for the info.

Posted by: partypooper | July 12, 2005 at 11:47 AM

The Party Pooper: 18! (ship pal)

Posted by: phrawgh | July 26, 2005 at 07:57 PM

Whilst on a day out yesterday I noticed a kids t-shirt for sale in a local market. It depicted a happy looking cartoon dog with "Doggy Style" emblazoned across it...........only in Korea!

Posted by: Leone | July 30, 2005 at 08:09 PM