Sunday, May 27, 2012

Jesus returns in 2033

I didn't intend to post until later in the year, but I received a revelation after reading an article and realized I needed to go public on this before someone else beats me to it.

Jesus will return April 3rd, 2033, exactly 2000 years after he was crucified according to this news story.

Naturally, as the earth is 6000 years old, we are getting close to the time of Jesus 2.0. Even a three-year old can see that April 3rd, 2033 has three 3s, which is 333--'coincidentally' half of 666, which is the number of the beast and is the sign of the end of times. Duh!

[Unhappy with the images that came up with a google search for '666', this is what I found with '666 boobs'.  Inspiration has struck again!]

Need more proof? The scripture quoted in the linked article is Mathew Chapter 27. What is 2+7? 9. And what is 9 divided by three? 3. And how would you explain how you arrived at that number via multiplication to the above-mentioned three-year old, who, not being Asian, hasn't memorized the multiplication tables yet? By writing out 3+3+3, of course.

So there's 333 again! It's getting a bit spooky, no?

And there's more: 

How old was Jesus when he died? 33!

How many days was Jesus dead? 3!!     [722335 or so and counting might also be the right answer, though]

How many thingamajigs in the trinity? 3!!!

How many examples of the number 3 appearing in the bible did I just give before this one?  3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So suck on that, Harold Camping. Your prediction for the return of Jesus (May 21, 2011) didn't even have ONE 3 in it! Idiot! 

Camping's answer to my last question above. Who listened to this fucking moron?

I found the above image by typing 'Harold Camping Boobs' in google search, by the way.


Here's what I found with 'Harold Camping Asian Boobs', though.
So, now that math, which I think Einstein once said was the language of God, or something, has shown me the Truth, I hereby renounce my atheism (for the next 21 years, anyway) and will use this blog to spread the New and Improved Good News (Like the Bible, but better!). I'll need some funds to get the Word out, so I'll probably add a tip jar or pay pal thingy soon, and maybe get some of those Korea ads on the site because I'm sure they bring in a lot of revenue.

(I imagine this girl has committted suicide by now.)

In closing, I'll let you guess what keywords I used to find these pictures.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Post of the Year

"Post of the Year" as in, my only post of the year (not to be misunderstood as 'my best post of the year', though I think you'll find it hard to argue that it isn't).

The issues that have kept me away from this blog look to be nearing a welcome end.

I shall return in 2012.

Is my return what the Mayans foresaw?


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Draw Muhammad Day

The last picture is the Muh-man with his 9-year-old bride*. The next time you see an elementary school girl on the street, imagine marrying her and taking her to bed (if you're a guy, of course. Don't turn this into some sicko lesbian thing!). Picture it in as much detail as you can. If that looks pretty sweet to you, perhaps you too have what it takes to become a prophet of an all-knowing, loving deity. Look into it.

But perhaps I shouldn't have posted these pictures. Perhaps it is better to allow people from a medieval religion to tell me what I can and cannot do. Yeah, that's probably the better choice. If there is anything else we shouldn't be free to do, I hope our Muslim friends will kindly let us know.

All swiped from here. I did try to draw my own picture of Muhammad. He was eating cotton candy, and some of it was sticking in his beard! (Oh, how he hated when that happened!)

Anyway, it didn't come out so clearly, so I opted not to post it.Maybe next year.

*To be fair, there is some controversy over when Muhammad consummated the marriage.  She might have been 10 at the time, not 9.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Cleaning out the pic folder

No, I'm not even close to blogging again regularly.

Boob job or no?

Regardless, I'm happy with the outcome.

I swiped this next picture from another Kblog. I'd link to it, but then, that would require more effort than I can currently summon. It's a Korean based blogger who takes a lot of pictures. Figure it out.

It just seemed weird that there were no comments on it. I love it.

It's good to be the photographer.

Read the caption at the bottom of the following picture (click to enlarge). Perhaps Lee Byung Hun's alleged fiancee should have looked into this before giving up the milk for free.

Korean girls or Japanese girls? Debate among yourselves, fellow hapless victims of le fièvre jaune. My studied take on the issue is that Korean girls are generally prettier, but I have heard recently from a friend that Japanese girls are more likely to give unsolicited rim jobs, so there's a factor I hadn't previously considered.

OK. maybe it would be best for everyone if I stopped typing now and went back into hibernation mode.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Mystery Girl

I will resume my new homeopathy-inspired blogging approach promptly (every day I don't post actually strengthens the blog. I highly recommend it to certain other bloggers). It just seemed wrong that no one else has found a reason to post this picture.

She's a famous talent in Korea, but she's wearing sunglasses, so good luck trying to identify her.

Perhaps her hairstyle might give her away.