Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Workin' out them issues

I found a great mail order bride site, full of highly marriagable little pearls from the Orient.

Here's a link to the catalogue.


I got dibbs on "Fog!"

She's quite the dainty one. I can already see her bringing me a nice hot cup of tea and offering to give me one of them exotic oriental massages after I come home from a hard day of work.

Tammadfinger Here's a picture of her silky hair. Nice, but a little short for my tastes. That will have to change...

Also, it kind of bothers me though that she doesn't include a picture of her feet. I definitely do not want my little lotus flower to have a pair of big ugly stompers. I long for the good old days before ugly Western Imperialism destroyed all the pure Asian traditions such as foot binding.

Geniescary3 Don't worry guys, there are still lots of other good ones left. "Jade" (pictured here) is still available. She looks like a good match for someone who needs some help around the farm or anyone who has some things around the house that just need some good bendin'.

But wait! There's more!



Merscratch4_1 Karenupsmaller_2

From left to right, we have "toy," "Vanango,""Meredith," and the last one I believe is Ozzy Osbourne's daughter, Kelly.

Hey...! Wait a minute...Oh! I get it! This isn't really a mail-order bride site at all! It's one of them sly parody things!

Well, this changes everything. Now I realize that the girls on this site are just releasing all that pent-up rage they've been storing for years against white men and their dominating ways.   

Shutupben_tn Here's some of that rage right here! Take that you Asian women subjugating, uneccesarily long penised white man!

(many more photos like that here!)

Obviously the women in these pictures are daily subjected to the unwelcomed advances of white men who stereotype them as submissive Asian women. Just look at their pictures again. Yeah, I bet white guys are just all over them.

Why else would they be so angry and include a bunch of photos of Asian women beating up white guys? I mean sure, there might a FEW women like this who might have some other issues, like being constantly rejected or ignored by white guys (or any kind of guy for that matter), but obviously that would be such an insignificant percentage that I probably shouldn't have mentioned it.

Right, I shouldn't have. Forget I even brought it up.    

And I can only imagine how angry Asian men must feel to think that we might be trying to steal such precious treasures from them. Poor guys...

This the site author's general rant against all the suffering imposed upon her by Imperial Whitey.

A choice selection:

I once threw piss (not my own, because I am a real lady-remember?) at a guy who fucked me over.

Well, no need to tell us the color of this now urine-drenched male, is there?

So let me get this straight. You took the time to find someone else's urine, bottle it, and then throw it at some guy who dumped you.

Yes, a very well-measured response. Don't listen to all those people (especially the white ones with penises!) who recommend counseling.

Cornered Here she is, cornered by a mob of white men anxious for her to fulfill their fantasies of finding a submissive Asian female to serve them and satisfy their sexual urges.

Looking at her picture, I do confess that there is a part of me that longs to take her home and have her cook my rice.

I feel so ashamed...

I'll let the site author finish this post off with these words from her "manifesto."

The idea behind my site is to catch the oppressor in the act of oppression and use my personal sense of humor as a political force. I wanted to subvert the expectations of a nasty guy in search of petite naked Asian bodies by showing him the full ugliness of "Sweet Asian girls."

Mission acomplished, my dear. Keep fightin' them racist and hateful stereotypes!


Thursday, December 23, 2004

Defender of the Hub

It's the holiday season, which means I've been extra busy furthering the American Imperialist Agenda here in Korea. But the Nomad turned me on to this letter to the Korean Herald Editor and I couldnt resist a quick bloggin.

Basically its a Im tired of all these foreigners who come to Korea and just bitch about everything and there is nothing wrong with Korea so just shut up and go back to where you came from rant.


Pictures courtesy of, which has a nice collection of Korean war propaganda leaflets from North Korean and China trying to get US GIs to make love, not war.

    I'm sure David would agree that they are appropriate here as well.

Unfortunately, the author, "David," neglects to specifically address the most common foreign complaints. Couldnt he at least mention one of the top complaints and show us why it is unfounded? Couldn't he at least admit that there are SOME things in Korea that warrant criticism? I guess not.

A few thoughts on some of the things David did choose to talk about.

"...often times foreigners come to Korea and the first thing they do is to look for places where foreigners congregate"

That's quite a generalization. I'm sure there are a lot of foreigners who first look for prostitutes or a Mcdonalds. Let's try to avoid stereotyping, ok?

So foreigners congregate around other foreigners, so what?In what country, big world-traveler David, do foreigners NOT do this? People naturally gravitate towards others with whom they are familiar. Koreans do it in the States; Bangladeshi do in Korea, and the list goes on. What standard are you holding westerners up to here? Don't you tend to hang out with other annoying self-righteous assholes like yourself? I know I do.

And just because foreigners tend to spend time with other foreigners does not mean they never have contact with Koreans. Ive yet to meet a westerner who does not have some Korean acquaintances, if not friends. Sure, some never do, but thats a minority.

Oh, and by the way, the next time (might it be the first time?) you are hanging out with some Bangladeshis or other SE Asian workers, ask them how easy it is for them to mingle with the Koreans. Im sure David has never actually met a 3D worker and found out about their living conditions and treatment by their gracious Korean employers, or how they are treated like shit by Koreans in general. I, probably like David, am treated well by the Koreans I work with thanks to my occupation and skin color (and my sparkling personality certainly helps as well). But its just ignorant to pretend that all foreigners are treated well here and should keep all gripes to themselves.


Towshongf Why ARE you all still in Korea?

Come on you stinking exploitin' ungrateful foreigners! Leave Koreans to the Koreans! 

So then David goes on to explain why Korea is such a great place to live and thus is undeserving of any criticism.

It is a country filled with beautiful traditions, many related to honor and love toward family, and respect for neighbors. 

Beautiful traditions? Yes. Korea is a very special place with beautiful traditions, just like every other country in the world (except all states in the American South; it is still ok to despise and stereotype those inbred, slaving, redneck, Jesus-freak bastards).

Honor and love toward family? Sure, some aspects of Korean households are very admirable. But then there a lot of other customs and practices that are certainly not. I really cant say Korean family values are any better or worse overall than any other country Ive lived in.

Respect for neighbors? Sorry, I dont see it. Perhaps this is true in some small towns, but David's got to back this one up with some examples. Some Koreans are respectful, but quite a few are certainly not. It sounds like David pulled this one completely out of his ass.

Most of the things foreigners complain about are the same things Koreans complain about: Lack of respect for the law, abuse of authority, following contracts only when it suits the boss, lack of respect for others in public areas, and so on. Some things suck, and its just PC nonsense to try to ignore it. I'm sure patronizing people like David think they are doing good by praising and defending Korea every chance they get, but in the long run they aren't. Would it help America, Canada, Britain, etc. if Koreans gave us nothing but praise and never pointed out our shortcomings? I'd rather have someone around who can tell me like it is (with the possible exceptions of people from France and Quebec).

I'd like to see how David would respond to Koreans living in America (or whatever country he is from) who complain about society there. Would he tell them to get a one-way ticket back to Korea? Gee, that sounds quite harsh when you put it that way, doesnt it? Kind of makes the person sound like a hateful asshole, as a matter of fact.

But then, thats just how I see things.


Saturday, December 11, 2004

Stereotypes 101

Here's a little treat from one Kim Mi Kyung I found in the Korea Times.  Allow her to introduce her topic:

I teach a course on global, cross-cultural skills at a local college in Portland, Ore. To my surprise, I’m discovering that the first task in this class is the mind-bending job of teaching Americans some elementary truths about who they are.

What great expert in American studies is this Miss Kim (may we call you Professor?) who is up to this "mind-bending job" of teaching "elementary truths" about who Americans are? Let's read on.

My surprise stems from the undeniable fact that, at an important level, I certainly don’t know enough about American society to dare to teach Americans who they are. For example, my class itself knows that I mistakenly thought Lewis and Clark were Bonnie and Clyde when I went to the Oregon History Museum.

Don't feel too bad about being confused about famous people. A lot of us ex-pats here in Korea aren't sure if Noh Mu-hyun or Kim Jeong-il is the President of South Korea. All the same, allow me to politely withdraw the suggestion of calling you a "Professor."

So, you admit you don't know much about Americans "at an important level" yet you are writing an article about teaching Americans about Americans? Cool. When Americans do something like that people call us ignorant and arrogant. What words should we use for you?

Despite such wild treatments of the details, I find that not only can I teach my class what the rest of the world thinks of the country, but I must. Americans, I’m learning, have a serious aversion to basic empirical self-analysis.

Hold on a second. Let me replace the word "Americans" with "Koreans" and see how that paragraph works...hey! It fits perfectly!

One question: I thought the class was called "cross-cultural skills," not "Why the World Hates America." Getting a little off the subject, aren't you?

My first contact with this fact came on the very first day of my class, when I jotted down the most commonly observed American values. Americans, I chalked on the board, are widely supposed (or perceived) to be individualistic, competitive, self-absorbed, materialistic, obsessed with time and not overly concerned with nature. As I dashed down the list, I could hear the students gasping for air.

Wow! What a great teaching technique! On the very first day of class, go into the classroom and write a bunch of mostly negative stereotypes of your students' nationality. Excellent! You certainly have proved to us that you are qualified to teach a class on "cross-cultural skills."

All you teachers in Korea, why not give this a try? On the first day of class tell your students that Koreans are perceived as overly-emotional, competitive, materialistic, and usually drunk on soju. They'll love you for it! Don't worry about the fact that you might not actually know much about Korea. Miss Kim doesn't need actual first-hand knowledge of Americans to do it, so why should you actually need to know about Koreans before teaching them how they are?

By the way Miss Kim, are you sure that "serious aversion to basic empirical self-analysis" is not really serious aversion to some stranger labeling them with stereotypes? Think about it for a while, I'm sure you can come up with the answer.

Back to the fun!

Once the items were outlined, one of the students raised his hand and asked me, ``Are you telling me that I am individualistic and greedy?’’ He seemed genuinely perturbed. A female student jumped in telling me that ``I have read some materials on altruism and I agree with what they believe in. I don’t believe I am very self-absorbed.’’ Despite my quick caveats about the limitations of simplification and generalization, the points I’d assumed to be common knowledge seemed to be genuinely new and shocking to thoughtful residents of their land of application. what exactly are these "limitations of simplification and generalization" that you mentioned? Judging by how you decided to begin this course, I'm not sure you really understand what those words mean.

I know you are the "cross-cultural" expert and everything, but can I give you a little advice? Use of generalizations and oversimplification (which you admittedly did do, by the way) to describe another's culture the very first time you meet that person is something most cross-cultural skills experts probably would suggest one NOT do. 

Lovely irony though. I almost wish I could have been there!

Then, I flashed back to something one of my colleagues had warned me about. ``We, Americans,’’ the colleague had said, ``do not want to be described. We are not a very analytical people. If you tell us who we are, we get offended.’’

Wow! Another generalization! Perhaps you should rename your class "cross-cultural stereotypes."

Anyway, I doubt that was an American who said that because if he really were an American he would have been completely incapable of such an analytical insight.

Do go on, Miss Kim.

Being a Korean who thrives on others’ perceptions of me and/or us as a group, I had a moment of epiphany.

Word choice suggestion: change "thrives on" to "is obsessed with" and you'd be more accurate.

The class and I had a moment of culture clash. It felt refreshing.

Yeah, I bet it did. I would have loved to see the "refreshed" look on your face when you realized you had insulted and lost the respect of the students from day one of the class. Probably as "refreshed" as you feel right now reading this, huh? :)

Ok, sarcasm off, let me give some real advice to Miss Kim. It's painfully obvious that your first class didn't go so well and you are struggling to save face and justify what and how you taught. I get the feeling the article you wrote was done primarily out of a desperate need to convince yourself that you did a good job and the students, not you, are the ones to blame. You must be a moderately intelligent woman, and I'm sure a part of you deep down realizes that in a course called "cross-cultural skills" you, the teacher, displayed none of them.

But I'm here to help. If for some reason the school entrusts you with another class, try the following (seriously):

1. Start by asking the class what THEY think people from other countries think of Americans. You'll be shocked (hell, it might even be another "epiphany" for you) just how much they already know.

2. Next, ask them just how much they think the stereotypes are true. Be prepared for another epiphany when they start to criticize themselves. I know you don't know much about America, but you are in Oregon and you'll be surprised how many people there are ready to criticize Americans when approached the right way. That's the way Socrates would have done it (Socratic Method, look it up).

But most importantly, you need to clarify what your course is about and what your true aims are. Are you really trying to help them gain cross cultural skills, or do you feel some urge to make them see themselves as you do? You admit that you don't know Americans, is it not possible that some of YOUR perceptions might be a bit askew? Maybe you and the class BOTH have some learning to do.

That's what cross cultural experiences are all about, right?

You quoted Socrates later in your article ("Know thyself"). Perhaps the first thing you need to do is take that mirror you are so anxiously trying to thrust in the faces of your students and turn it around and look at yourself. Refreshing epiphanies are sure to follow.

Her email address is on the article, so being the kind and concerned citizen that I am, I emailed this post in its entirety to her. If I read Miss Kim correctly, a lengthy and angry reply is sure to follow.

Saturday, November 27, 2004


Another post from my old blog I wish to have preserved for posterity. I sent their site an email asking some specific questions that I raise in this post (What kinds of crimes are included in their statistics, Is the crime rate of GIs in Korea higher than that of the average Korean male, etc.) and asked why they neglected to include such crucial information (or point out on their site where I can find it).

Surprise, surprise, there was no reply.

Anyway, here's the original post:

This site, USAcrime, is perhaps the worst of the worst as far as blindly anti-American NGOs go. I've copied their English introduction page here and added a few innocent comments of my own.


"The USFK (United States Forces in Korea) has been stationed in South Korea since 1945. Presently there are 96 bases of 74 million pyong (one pyong = 6 sq feet) occupied by 37,000 U.S. troops in South Korea


[Informative statistics and facts. Good research.

Question: How long do you think they can keep this up?]

The long history of the USFK in South Korea has greatly influenced our society.

Yes, I've noticed that too. You no longer are forced to learn Japanese, nor are you eating grass and living in constant fear of the Dear Leader. Do go on...

Statistically, people bound by SOFA (soldiers, civilian components, their families and their relatives) have committed 2-3 crimes against Korean citizens a day.   Hence there have been over 100,000 cases of criminal acts since 1945. Nevertheless, Korean courts have only judged around 4% of these crimes (confined to US soldiers). In most other cases, U.S. soldiers who have committed crimes against the Korean people, have been released without punishment or due compensation to the victims.

Answer of earlier question: Not very long.

Playing with statistics looks fun! Can I play too?

Ok, according to your numbers (100,000+ cases over the past 59 years) that's about 1,700 "criminal acts" per year from a population of 37,000 (actually, it should be more than that even now that the numbers have been reduced, because their statistics include soldier's families, relatives, and all others covered by the SOFA).

Thus about 4% of GIs are committing crimes each year (actually less, since there would certainly be some repeat offenders doing more than their share).

So at worst, only 4% of the soldiers are bad guys and the other 96% are more or less law-abiding people doing nothing more than serving their country and protecting Korean democracy at your nation's request.

Wow! 33,600 soldiers every year just minding their own business and doing nothing more than making sure Korea stays safe. Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. I never realized just how well they were doing.

Also, what percentage of these "crimes" are traffic violations? What percentage is just brawls between GIs or fights in which both parties (GI and Korean) were at fault? Come on, drunken Korean men never bait GIs or start pushing first?

Drunktatoothumb The average Korean's image of the typical USsoldier.

Oh my God! He's even got a tattoo! Those animals!


Not to excuse all of the above actions, but I sense that this site is trying to give the faulty impression that all of these "crimes" are on the level of murder and rape. If these figures for "crimes" include all of the above, however, then that 4% Bad GI percentage goes down even further. Hell, that makes them even more law-abiding than peace-loving Canadian English teachers!!!

Here is some information on the US Embassy site.

The Korean Government has also chosen not to exercise its jurisdiction in minor cases, the bulk of which are minor traffic infractions. Some confusion has arisen because statistics in Korea include these minor infractions in the total of crimes committed. The number of serious crimes, as defined by the Korean Government, committed by USFK personnel has remained constant over the past decade -- between zero and ten cases per year. I am not minimizing the victims' loss and pain when I say that the number of serious crimes committed by USFK members is low. Of course, even a single crime is one too many, but I want to underline the fact that the SOFA does not encourage crime, and the overall USFK crime rate is very low. 

0-10 per year from a population of 37,000. Yes, clearly this is a huge problem that terrorizes Koreans day and night. Just imagine, each year, of every 3,700 GIs you run into on the street, one of them could be a violent criminal and there is a 1 in 365 chance that the day you meet him (or her!) is just the day he strikes! Lock your doors, hide your daughters. My God, I've been in Korea for almost 5 years now and I've probably encountered nearly 3,000 already. I'm lucky to be alive.

By the way, what is the crime rate among average Koreans? Isn't it about the same? Well, perhaps I'm jumping the gun here. I'm sure later this site will let me know that kind of crucial information and thus prove crime by GIs in Korea is indeed a serious matter (beginning to hold breath while waiting for this to happen]: back to the noble NGO site.

Moreover, the USFK has polluted our environment and undermined our culture. 

[exhaling...] Well, I see we are changing the topic somewhat. Ok, yes, the USFK has polluted your environment. One person dumped 120 liters of diluted formaldehyde into the drains that lead to two water treatment facilities before emptying in the Han which, as we all have seen many times before, is where all Seoulites daily fill their water jugs and carry back to their mud huts to provide their families with their water drinking needs.


Woe be us!



Pop Quiz: How many people in this picture have real jobs?



First of all, simulated tests showed that it was not toxic by the time it reached the water supply and it does not even begin to compete with the HUNDREDS OF TONS of similar waste poured DIRECTLY into the Han by Korean companies. Read more about it here (picture swiped from same site).

What else...they undermined your culture? Hard to refute such a vague, baseless generalization as that except with this less vague and baseless generalization: You're organization is full of clueless, racist, morons.

They have introduced the AIDS virus to Korea, brought recreational drugs, and started a black market for the illegal trafficking of PX goods.

Introduced AIDS to Korea? Where the hell did that come from? Some links? Some evidence to back that up? Anything? No?

I'll tell you where the real danger of AIDS in Korea is from; it's those many "business trips" Korean ajushi's are taking to Thailand.

And how about them "recreational drugs?" How many soldiers bring them to Korea? How many drug-related arrests per year? Do they sell them to Koreans? If so, why isn’t it all over the news?

And what's the big problem anyway? Did you think "Korean drugs" (alcohol and tobacco) are any less harmful? Trust me (and my Canadian English teacher friends will back me up on this one), Korea wouldn't have HALF of its current social ills if they would just put down their soju bottles and pick up a joint.

US soldiers started the black market? That comes as quite a shock. I've been to several "black markets" in Korea and it’s funny how all those “black marketers” look exactly like Korean ajoshis and ajummas. And how is this exactly a crime against Korea again? I just don't get it, but maybe I'm just not viewing this whole think "emotionally" enough.


Confiscated booze stolen from the Yongsan US base by Korean employees.

Damn you American GIs!!!



There is also the issue of Korean-American (Amerasian) children abandoned by their U.S.GI fathers and the problems related to the stunted development of the "Keejichon" ("military base towns")surrounding the U.S. bases. These problems are a direct result of the unequal Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA), which has affected our society severely. As a result of the lack of discipline those affiliated with the U.S. army act arrogantly towards Koreans. 

True, GI fathers abandoning children is an awful thing. But how widespread is it in this day and age? What percentages of GIs leave behind pregnant Korean women? Since you guys seem a little too busy to research these issues, is it ok if I just assume it is something less than .05%? I know that estimate is probably too high, but I just want to be on the safe side.

As for the Keejichon, it was always my understanding that those towns get a lot of money pumped into them (among other things...) from the soldiers. I mean, they sure do bitch and moan whenever word gets out that the bases might move.

As for "stunted growth," can you compare those towns to other Korean towns without military bases that have experienced "non-stunted" growth? The entire population of Korea has been flocking to the big cities for the past 30+ years for economic opportunities, so I don't think you'll have much luck proving this. Ooops, I forgot! You apparently have no intention of proving anything.

Thus, we are not only referring to the victims of crimes by U.S. troops against Koreans, but we are also talking about the human rights of all Korean citizens and our autonomy as a nation. This is a national issue that can no longer be pushed aside. In order to regain our genuine independence, after over 50 years of enduring damage and injury directly inflicted by the

U.S. military, we are taking a small first step. This very step is "The National Campaign for Eradication of Crime by U.S. Troops in  Korea." 

After reflecting on the above, may I suggest a slightly different approach to regaining your "genuine independence?" Increase your military spending to the level of other developed countries and take care of yourself!!! You'll be surprised how just little resistance you get from Americans on this one. Don't worry, you'll still have Japan around to direct your racism and hate towards.

Anyway, check out the site. I especially recommend the "Data" link. One might think it would be chock-full of statistics, surveys, government reports, etc., but I guess they didn't need any of that (good luck finding any links that work). 

So I'd like to finish by saying, "Good work NGO guys!!!! Sure, everyone looked down on you for not being able to get a real job in a company or even as a middle-school teacher after you graduated with a 2.1 GPA (hey, it's hard to study when there is so much noble protesting to do), but now you've shown them all the true extent of your intellectual abilities. Be proud!


Wednesday, November 10, 2004



Cliff Brumbaugh was by far the most dominant batter in the Korean league this year. He led the league in batting average and slugging percentage. Was number two in homeruns (one less than the leader), and third in total number of hits. For those who do not follow baseball, nearly leading in all major batting categories is somewhat of a rarity.

So naturally he was a candidate for the all-star team and MVP.

How did the fans vote?

"he was excluded from the starting lineup in the all-star fan voting in June. Despite leading the league in most batting categories Brumbaugh placed 10th out of the 11 outfielder candidates and only joined the West squad just by managers’ recommendation."

It's sure nice to see that Korean fans were fair enough to vote him ahead of at least one player (I wonder if the 11th candidate was another foreigner...). Yes, very kind indeed.

Well, what about the Korean sports journalists? Certainly they would be objective  enough to recognize Brumbaughs dominance, right? These are professionals, right?


In the MVP vote, Brumbaugh got 13 votes to pitcher Bae Young-soo's 84.

Not even close.

Bae Young-soo did have a good year, but was not really a standout. He tied for the lead in wins, but that is certainly easier to do that when backed up by a team capable of scoring a lot of runs. Bae Young-soo tied in number of wins with two other 'imports' (read: dirty stinkin mercenary foreigners) Gary Rath and Daniel Rios (guess how many votes they got for MVP...) 

Pitcher Park Myong Hwan led in perhaps the two most important categories: ERA and strikeouts which much more clearly show an individual pitcher's ability. So basically Young-soo didn't clearly lead in any category, and was behind others in the ones that counted the most. Bae Young-soo was good, but I wouldn't even pick him for the best pitcher this year, let alone MVP.

Perfectsoul200411081930330bae2 Here is Bae Young-soo and his award for MVP. The first words of his acceptance speech were, and I quote:

"I first want to thank my parents for not being foreigners. I wouldn't be here tonight if it weren't for them. Seriously. I will do my best to be even more Korean in the future."

The article, written by Kim Hyeon-Cheol, states the obvious:

"Thus, taking all this into account, there seems to be only one answer to the exceptional gap of votes between Bae and Brumbaugh _ he’s not a Korean. Take out the name Brumbaugh and replace it with Shim with the same record and under the same circumstances. Do you think anyone would have denied him the MVP?"

Well put. I suppose what surprised me most about this story was not that Korean fans and sports journalists are generally racist, but that a Korean journalist would have the balls to call them out on it.

I've looked around and haven't found any other sotires covering this blatant discrimination. Korea desperately needs more people like Kim Hyeon-Cheol.

Sunday, November 7, 2004

(Free)Base 21

p>Here is a nice collection of pictures I got from the Base21 site. It has a lot of coverage of Kim Jeong-il's favorite butt-buddies south of the border, the radical univesrity student group hancheongnyon.

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Here is our great enemy that we facing today.  we are great freedom fighters going to protest evil big-nose imperialists. Oh! keep your eyes on that sign, we surely have sneaky radical plan for that!!

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Ah yes! No we start noble protesting. Notice our scary fist pumping actions! It not being easy do this all day long, so we preparing our muscles for this by when we masterbate in hot fury to pictures of big breasted blonde white women. Look at muscles of fist pumping Jin-seok on the left! I think he practicing at home a lot!!

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Did you noticing our pretty hats? Chang-sun pick those out and we got nice discount for all 200. They are so lovely!

Oh! see Jeong-son on the left with the pretty red manpurse? I am so envy!

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I am proud to showing our new way of burning imperialist flag. This way we are not burning the fingers or hairs like we always doing before.

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Now super action starting! Oh! I love it when they are touching me in that place! It gives me such funny feeling! I struggle more and they touch me more! Oh! exciting!

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Don't! Stop! Don't! Stop! Don't...stop! Don't...Don't stop! Don't stop!

(for only a sweet moment, intense feelings of loneliness and sexual frustratings vanishing...)

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Recognize the loveliness of our hats!! Why must you prevent our brothers in the North from having equally lovely hats!

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Oh no! Look at Jae-sun at the bottom of the picture! He loses his lovely hat! Where is it! Give it back you fascismist bastards!!!

Don't worrying Jae-sun, our struggling goes on.

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And now as are promised...the sign! We will tear it down to show our raging!! Push hard!!

Ugh! This is strong sign. Get some of our women for help, they have much stronger legs than we.

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Hah! Down you go sign of imperialistis! Recognize our power!

Oh no! Four more peoples lose the hats. Everybody look in the grasses for the hats!

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Now we party like it is year 2000 all again! We do joyous and funny dances!

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Whoever saying our womens are not pretty maybe never see Hae-son and Young-mi! No big American gi ever get his bloddy hand on these pure Korean angel! Only you dream it!

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Finally we have great song that we know our dear Leader relally likes. This is pure one Corea with No more white-devel western corropution influencing!

Soon Dear Lader! We working hard to help you bringing dignity of united Corea with not more American imperialistims! Daehan minguk Mansei! Mansei!