Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Workin' out them issues

I found a great mail order bride site, full of highly marriagable little pearls from the Orient.

Here's a link to the catalogue.


I got dibbs on "Fog!"

She's quite the dainty one. I can already see her bringing me a nice hot cup of tea and offering to give me one of them exotic oriental massages after I come home from a hard day of work.

Tammadfinger Here's a picture of her silky hair. Nice, but a little short for my tastes. That will have to change...

Also, it kind of bothers me though that she doesn't include a picture of her feet. I definitely do not want my little lotus flower to have a pair of big ugly stompers. I long for the good old days before ugly Western Imperialism destroyed all the pure Asian traditions such as foot binding.

Geniescary3 Don't worry guys, there are still lots of other good ones left. "Jade" (pictured here) is still available. She looks like a good match for someone who needs some help around the farm or anyone who has some things around the house that just need some good bendin'.

But wait! There's more!



Merscratch4_1 Karenupsmaller_2

From left to right, we have "toy," "Vanango,""Meredith," and the last one I believe is Ozzy Osbourne's daughter, Kelly.

Hey...! Wait a minute...Oh! I get it! This isn't really a mail-order bride site at all! It's one of them sly parody things!

Well, this changes everything. Now I realize that the girls on this site are just releasing all that pent-up rage they've been storing for years against white men and their dominating ways.   

Shutupben_tn Here's some of that rage right here! Take that you Asian women subjugating, uneccesarily long penised white man!

(many more photos like that here!)

Obviously the women in these pictures are daily subjected to the unwelcomed advances of white men who stereotype them as submissive Asian women. Just look at their pictures again. Yeah, I bet white guys are just all over them.

Why else would they be so angry and include a bunch of photos of Asian women beating up white guys? I mean sure, there might a FEW women like this who might have some other issues, like being constantly rejected or ignored by white guys (or any kind of guy for that matter), but obviously that would be such an insignificant percentage that I probably shouldn't have mentioned it.

Right, I shouldn't have. Forget I even brought it up.    

And I can only imagine how angry Asian men must feel to think that we might be trying to steal such precious treasures from them. Poor guys...

This the site author's general rant against all the suffering imposed upon her by Imperial Whitey.

A choice selection:

I once threw piss (not my own, because I am a real lady-remember?) at a guy who fucked me over.

Well, no need to tell us the color of this now urine-drenched male, is there?

So let me get this straight. You took the time to find someone else's urine, bottle it, and then throw it at some guy who dumped you.

Yes, a very well-measured response. Don't listen to all those people (especially the white ones with penises!) who recommend counseling.

Cornered Here she is, cornered by a mob of white men anxious for her to fulfill their fantasies of finding a submissive Asian female to serve them and satisfy their sexual urges.

Looking at her picture, I do confess that there is a part of me that longs to take her home and have her cook my rice.

I feel so ashamed...

I'll let the site author finish this post off with these words from her "manifesto."

The idea behind my site is to catch the oppressor in the act of oppression and use my personal sense of humor as a political force. I wanted to subvert the expectations of a nasty guy in search of petite naked Asian bodies by showing him the full ugliness of "Sweet Asian girls."

Mission acomplished, my dear. Keep fightin' them racist and hateful stereotypes!


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