Sunday, November 26, 2006

Dong Bang Shin Gi: Gay Asia Rising

Update 3
Finally moved this post over to the new blog. It finished with 730 comments on the original site, every one a winner.

I'm a winner too.

Update 2: Happy 300!

This post has now amassed over 300 comments, a record for expat blogs in Korea!

All recognize my power to infuriate hordes of 10-year-old Asian girls!

Photo: A still from the epic movie 300 to comemorate the new milestone for this humble post.  I chose this photo because it matches the general theme of the post (and is reportedly what Hero from Dong Bang Sin Gi uses for his computer desktop wallpaper, replacing his former picture of Ricky Martin).

I deeply apologize for not responding to all of the comments. I hope that not for even one moment do any of you commenters think that I might not be reading your comments, especially the long ones that must have taken you a long time to compose. I most certainly do read all of them. I print them out and thoughtfully consider each and every word you write, regardless of how hideously misspelled each may be. Please don't think that in any way you are just wasting your time.

So keep those comments coming! If this post doesn't reach 400 comments and soon, I'll begin to doubt your true love for this fine group of pseudo-performers!

In the meantime, here's a youtube video of the Dong Seong Bang Shin Gi 'boys' which might in some remote way be applicable to this post.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Update: Happy 200!

Just a quick shout out and big thanks to all who helped this post reach the 200 comment milestone. The last time I googled Dong Bang Shin Gi, the post was listed 6th! With a little luck (and few hundred more angry pre-teens who go completely apeshit when some random stranger on the Internet jokes about their idols), it will soon be the first site that pops up when anyone is curious to learn more about the Pride of Korea which is Dong Bang Shin Gi.



Original Post:

Cathartidae somehow finds the worst of the worst as far as Korean femboybands go. This is Dong Bang Shin Gi, the current Big Kahuna's of the Korean Gay Wave that Korea would probably be better off having the West NOT know about.

Dong Bang Shin Gi, by the way, translates into 'Gods (in pink tutus and bunny rabbit outfits) Rising in the East.'

Although not as consistently ridiculous as the above video, this one here hits gay factor 9.5 when it shows the 'boys' around a dining table near the beach doing 'love shots' and feeding each other cake (near the end of the song). This is probably the first song in the history of pop that is filmed on a beach without a single hot babe in a bikini. The world just doesn't make sense anymore...

As far as the sexual orientation of these guys, far be it from me to rush to any conclusions, as you all well know by now. I'll just leave you with some selections from a posting on one of their fan sites and let you come to your conclusions.

22 facts about DBSK Members


3.Changmin is a crybaby (he is)

4.a lady threw a bad finger at Yunho and he cried backstage (aww >.< don't cry!!)

6.they watch korean dramas when they can/have tym  

16.hero is the "mom" because he knows how to cook

and Xiah share in one bed and Micky and Max share in one bed too,
u-know gets his own bed not because he's the oldest but because he won [lost?] a game of rock paper siscors!! [What, one of the most popular bands in Korea and they can't afford more than 3 beds in their little luv shack? Right...]
19.a fan broke in to DBSG's apartment and stole changmin's USED underwear [of course, it could have been Hero, see next]

stole Changmin's first kiss, he was waking changmin up but Changmin
didn't wanna get up so he kissed him, Changmin cried after that.


Credit. AsianFanatics Forum



Note: Comments are certainly welcome and encouraged, but note that ever so occasionally some are slightly edited for language and entertainment value.

[610 comments on original posting--too many to post here. Rest assured that they were profoundly entertaining. Perhaps someday I'll include the best of the best]

Two strikes, no balls.

Lee Seung-yeop, Home Run King of FantAsia*, has opted to stay in the Japan league rather than field offers from MLB teams.


Korean slugger Lee
Seung-yeop re-signed with
the Yomiuri Giants to a
four-year extension
through 2010, the Giants
Web site announced on
Sunday. The value of the
contract, however, is still
yet to be disclosed.

But, Lee, 30, is still keeping
the door open to the
U.S. as his contract has
clauses allowing him to
leave the team “if Yomiuri
becomes Japan’s No.1

Allow me to be the first to state the glaring obvious that the Korean media doesn't want to say; he's avoiding (again) going to the MLB because he's chickenshit. Here's what I said back in the summer:

Seung Yeop will come very close not to signing with the MLB, citing
the above 'insult' [refering to offered salary]. What's really behind the hesitation, however, is a
fundamental fear of failure at the highest level of the game. Seung
Yeop has the goods physically, but mentally he can be inconsistent, as
evidenced by his failure in the first year of Japanese baseball ( and
this after complaining that he should have been given a starting
position in the Majors).

He'll eventually take the offer though. It's just too blatantly chickenshit to stay in Japan.

Despite my psychic powers and keen insight into the human condition, even I was unable to see the depths of Lee's cowardice.

Lee is in a perfect position to go the Big Leagues, following a strong season in Japan and a good showing in the WBC. If he can do as well as he has against Japanese pitchers, he has a legitimate shot at doing well in the MLB. Yet rather than even see what teams such as the Yankees might have to offer, he rushed into resigning with Yomiuri. 

His stated reasoning for staying with the Giants is to see them win a championship. What a load of bullshit. He's only been with the team for one season, so why would he care about helping them get a title? What, a Korean with a sudden love for a Japanese baseball team that before this year he had absolutely no connection with? Who really buys this shit? It's a lame excuse, but I guess it beats telling the truth.

*FantAsia is a mystical wonderous land in an alternate reality in which Korea is properly the center of the universe and everything the Korea media tells you is true. It does not follow the usual laws of  logic that burdens those in the 'real world.' See any Korean media story on 'fan death', kimchi folklore, or the Korean Wave for a glimpse into this magical realm.

Comments on original post


Yes, I'm familiar with this land of Fantasia. It's a land where each food has special healing and redemptive properties, and where it is impossible to eat a meal without a resident of Fantasia extolling the health benefits thereof.

Posted by: Whitey | November 26, 2006 at 10:23 PM

All this raving ranting anger over a baseball player.

Typical angry expat in Korea.

Get a life, move on, and get some therapy.

Posted by: hmmm.. | December 05, 2006 at 05:02 PM

All this raving ranting anger over some stranger with a blog.

Typical Angry Kyopo stalking me from another site. Get some therapy and move on with your life (I like the way I said that better).

[By the way, can I take your lack of criticism to the post content itself to mean that you agree with it?]

Posted by: partypooper | December 06, 2006 at 12:19 AM

you are chiken not lee dont write it, say it directly to lee! Giants nearly become champion not if not only their losing streaks that put them to 5th place thats why he wanted to stay to give kyojin a champion

Posted by: npb | December 26, 2006 at 09:45 PM

i REALLY dont geddit. i read your other blogs and one of your hobbies seem to be dissing korean people. well. you have a very loud mouth sitting behind a computer screen. hm.. and you seem to think that the korean way of displaying affection [to the same-sex friends, not to be taken sexually] means that they are gays or lesbians. wow. you really have problems.


Posted by: kristinaa | January 12, 2007 at 06:28 PM

Thursday, November 2, 2006

Tick Tock

Like most people, I keep a list of the top 30 or so people in the world I would most like to see die a spectacularly gruesome death*.

For the past decade or so Kim Jong-il has been in the top three (he alternates with Bob Saget and Bill Keane, the writer of Family Circle).

I entered Jong-il's personal data on the death clock site and found out that about this time 9 years from now Kim Jong-il should leave his Worker's Paradise behind to join his father in another Paradise (not much different in many ways than how North Korea is now, I'm sure). 

The exact date the site gave me was Thursday, November 27th, 2014.

Now wouldn't that be a Thanksgiving to remember?

That date may be wrong though, as I'm unsure of his Body Mass Index. I know that he is a manly 5 foot 3 inches, but I couldn't find his body weight and just guessed. If anyone knows, please inform me and I'll reenter the numbers and adjust the above date if needed.

Humble Proposal

Once we have the exact date determined, I propose that the Kor-Blogger community hold an annual "Ding Dong the Dictator will soon be Dead" party to mark the upcoming Happy Day.

I further propose that this celebration be held in a pub in Seoul, since as we all know, anyone who is anyone already lives here (our 'provincial' blogger friends such as Nomad and Joel are certainly welcome to come as well, just as long as each of you promises to put on a clean shirt and try not to embarrass us by spitting, scratching yourselves, or doing any other act of uncivilized behavior you might have picked up from the locals).


It's the final scene, fat boy. Here's hoping you go out painfully and shamefully.

[Picture taken from Comedy Central's "Kim Jong-il Must Die." Anyone heard anything about this? Looks like a hoot.]

*Preferably caught on video, so I can download and edit them primarily by speeding them up and dubbing in cartoon sound effects at appropriate moments,
tastefully done, of course

Comments on original post

Sure, we can all meet at a pub, but I'll have to go Muslim and order a Coke.

teetotaling asshole

Posted by: Kevin Kim | November 02, 2005 at 01:03 AM

Is it just coincidence that on the day this is posted your blog is blocked by my (south) Korean ISP ? (given that it was only for 5 odd hours I am guessing that it probably was :).

I'd have a beer to see young Kim kickin it with his old man.

Posted by: Hojuin | November 02, 2005 at 01:20 AM

Shirt? Who the hell wears shirts? It's bare feet and overalls or nothing. Oh...and did you say I had to come to Seoul for this? Do they still allow oxcarts on the highway?

And you better lay off the coffee - that's 2 posts within the last week.

Posted by: Nomad | November 02, 2005 at 09:58 PM

You should start a pool on the date - 10,000 won per?

Posted by: Richardson | November 03, 2005 at 05:54 AM

They need to start a companion website for women:


Enter your age, body stats, and weight to determine when, if ever, you will next be fucked.


Posted by: Kevin Kim | November 04, 2005 at 10:48 PM

If I can't touch my own junk under the guise of scratching then what's the fun in going out in public. I'd just as soon stay home with my sister and my goat.

On a side note I saw this article and thought of you:

Well I didn't think about you, I thought about your gaywatch.

Posted by: Joel | November 05, 2005 at 12:05 AM

Masturbation, beastiality, incest, and homosexuality all in one comment - way to go, Joel!

Posted by: Nomad | November 05, 2005 at 12:41 AM

On behalf of us country folk everywhere. :)

Posted by: Joel | November 05, 2005 at 04:06 AM

I thought the Cunt Tree Folk were mythical! Day-yamn!

life is like a box of chalk clits

Posted by: Kevin Kim | November 07, 2005 at 05:47 AM

Nomad, we don't allow oxcarts, but I'm sure you can find one of them country buses (you know, the kind that allows you to bring on chickens and as many pounds of vegetables and grains as you can carry on your head) to bring you to the big city.

Joel, the Gaywatch team has been notified. My regards to the goat.

And finally, Kevin, thanks as always for helping me making my blog such a classy joint. [see what happens when you deprive a young man of alcohol?]

Posted by: partypooper | November 07, 2005 at 05:09 PM