Thursday, November 2, 2006

Tick Tock

Like most people, I keep a list of the top 30 or so people in the world I would most like to see die a spectacularly gruesome death*.

For the past decade or so Kim Jong-il has been in the top three (he alternates with Bob Saget and Bill Keane, the writer of Family Circle).

I entered Jong-il's personal data on the death clock site and found out that about this time 9 years from now Kim Jong-il should leave his Worker's Paradise behind to join his father in another Paradise (not much different in many ways than how North Korea is now, I'm sure). 

The exact date the site gave me was Thursday, November 27th, 2014.

Now wouldn't that be a Thanksgiving to remember?

That date may be wrong though, as I'm unsure of his Body Mass Index. I know that he is a manly 5 foot 3 inches, but I couldn't find his body weight and just guessed. If anyone knows, please inform me and I'll reenter the numbers and adjust the above date if needed.

Humble Proposal

Once we have the exact date determined, I propose that the Kor-Blogger community hold an annual "Ding Dong the Dictator will soon be Dead" party to mark the upcoming Happy Day.

I further propose that this celebration be held in a pub in Seoul, since as we all know, anyone who is anyone already lives here (our 'provincial' blogger friends such as Nomad and Joel are certainly welcome to come as well, just as long as each of you promises to put on a clean shirt and try not to embarrass us by spitting, scratching yourselves, or doing any other act of uncivilized behavior you might have picked up from the locals).


It's the final scene, fat boy. Here's hoping you go out painfully and shamefully.

[Picture taken from Comedy Central's "Kim Jong-il Must Die." Anyone heard anything about this? Looks like a hoot.]

*Preferably caught on video, so I can download and edit them primarily by speeding them up and dubbing in cartoon sound effects at appropriate moments,
tastefully done, of course

Comments on original post

Sure, we can all meet at a pub, but I'll have to go Muslim and order a Coke.

teetotaling asshole

Posted by: Kevin Kim | November 02, 2005 at 01:03 AM

Is it just coincidence that on the day this is posted your blog is blocked by my (south) Korean ISP ? (given that it was only for 5 odd hours I am guessing that it probably was :).

I'd have a beer to see young Kim kickin it with his old man.

Posted by: Hojuin | November 02, 2005 at 01:20 AM

Shirt? Who the hell wears shirts? It's bare feet and overalls or nothing. Oh...and did you say I had to come to Seoul for this? Do they still allow oxcarts on the highway?

And you better lay off the coffee - that's 2 posts within the last week.

Posted by: Nomad | November 02, 2005 at 09:58 PM

You should start a pool on the date - 10,000 won per?

Posted by: Richardson | November 03, 2005 at 05:54 AM

They need to start a companion website for women:


Enter your age, body stats, and weight to determine when, if ever, you will next be fucked.


Posted by: Kevin Kim | November 04, 2005 at 10:48 PM

If I can't touch my own junk under the guise of scratching then what's the fun in going out in public. I'd just as soon stay home with my sister and my goat.

On a side note I saw this article and thought of you:

Well I didn't think about you, I thought about your gaywatch.

Posted by: Joel | November 05, 2005 at 12:05 AM

Masturbation, beastiality, incest, and homosexuality all in one comment - way to go, Joel!

Posted by: Nomad | November 05, 2005 at 12:41 AM

On behalf of us country folk everywhere. :)

Posted by: Joel | November 05, 2005 at 04:06 AM

I thought the Cunt Tree Folk were mythical! Day-yamn!

life is like a box of chalk clits

Posted by: Kevin Kim | November 07, 2005 at 05:47 AM

Nomad, we don't allow oxcarts, but I'm sure you can find one of them country buses (you know, the kind that allows you to bring on chickens and as many pounds of vegetables and grains as you can carry on your head) to bring you to the big city.

Joel, the Gaywatch team has been notified. My regards to the goat.

And finally, Kevin, thanks as always for helping me making my blog such a classy joint. [see what happens when you deprive a young man of alcohol?]

Posted by: partypooper | November 07, 2005 at 05:09 PM

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