Saturday, December 16, 2006

Mission Statement

A recent post over at Marmot's Hole, my main rival as the King of Korean Blogs, has inspired me to clarify what this humble blog is all about. This post reminded me that some people might be taking this blog for
something that it is not. This is in large part my fault, as the About
page probably makes this blog seem less than it is.

So with this in mind, I plagiarize and edit write the following.

The Party Pooper is in every way, shape and form a fair representation
of Korea. Korea—at least that part that is not a communist shithole—is a modern
nation and formerly growing regional and world power with, depending on who you
ask, some 15,000 years of history behind it. It’s home to over 23
million human beings and 17 million humanoid-like creatures called 'ajoshis' who go about their days living their lives like
people in other normal countries. It also happens to be a great place
to live (assuming you are white, that is). Yeah, it has its quirks, but which nation  doesn’t (other than Switzerland. Killer chocolate, dudes!), and at
least Koreans aren’t smoking tons of pot (though it probably might actually improve their society, considering this).

It would be very difficult to fully represent a nation as diverse and Dynamic as Korea on one website. And yet somehow I manage to pull it off.

This website is certainly full of stuff—3,693  186 posts (not even including this
one!) and 53,205 comments and counting (give or take 52,000). Many of the posts are astonishingly free of personal bias and simply tell Korea how it really is.  Every post goes through a strict editing process for fairness and accuracy and has the complete approval of both the Nazi Chosun Youth over at VANK and Kushibo (now that guy's fair!).

In other words, it’s a model blog.

There are, however, few expat-related stories
that I post because, as you probably have guessed, I am actually a
16-year-old Korean girl in a PC room who just makes posts when
I'm not chatting online with my friends about gay Korean singers or
making my Cyworld HomeP super cute by cramming in even more animation
art of puppies and dancing mushroom people (by the way, I just put up a
picture of the spaghetti I ate last night when me and Young-ah went to
TGIF yesterday, check it out!). And I don't put many pictures of boobs
on my blog like other K-bloggers because it makes me feel inadequate. (Grow you little feckless bastards! Grow!)

If you’re using this blog as your primary window on Korea—-then you made the right choice. [Note, by the way, how I used 'you're' and 'your' correctly in the sentence above. This alone makes me the second most literate blog in the whole English speaking world.] This blog is often listed among the primary study materials in Korean Study programs in the finest universities in the world, and has been praised by many a scholar as being no less fair and balanced than any Bruce Cumming's book.

Likewise, if you know nothing about Korea, you probably should be studying this blog religiously. Don't go to the propaganda sites like Korea. net, and for God's sake don't bother actually coming to Korea. It's all fun and games when we see you on Korean TV eating kimchi and being prompted to say nice things about our country, but frankly speaking, when we actually see you in person on the streets or on the subway, you all kind of creep us out. Especially you fat, smelly ones.

Comments on original blog entry

I of course have had this blog set as my homepage since it's inception and have benefited from the font of wisdom you bestow upon your readers.

All hail the glorious party pooper king of bloggers.

Posted by: EFL Geek | December 16, 2006 at 03:30 PM

Insightful stuff Party Pooper. You and Iceberg are the cream of Korean weblogs. BTW who is this Marmot that you mention?

Posted by: capt_kimchi | December 16, 2006 at 07:24 PM

This is why you're blog is a great read!

Posted by: Mark Milton | December 16, 2006 at 09:26 PM

Your much better then the Marmot, and I sit in front of the monitor each and every day for hours, hitting the refresh button in the hope you've posted something new. At least once a month I'm rewarded for my efforts.

Posted by: Nomad | December 16, 2006 at 10:23 PM

there is no greater gift than sarcasm. likewise, there is no country which suffers a greater shortage of it than korea.

please, keep on giving. for the children.

Posted by: iheartblueballs | December 16, 2006 at 11:44 PM

Well, Kushibo insinuated that you and I are the same person, so I'll just congratulate myself for this fine, fine post.


Posted by: Kevin Kim | December 18, 2006 at 10:30 AM

Hey, you forgot one another mission statement.

To expose all the Korean fags and out them all out.

Are you really a fag too?

Posted by: Mac | December 18, 2006 at 07:00 PM

I knew it! I knew you were a little schoolgirl posting from the PC room! That's why all of your stuff is so accurate. None of those fat, white americans would have that much insight into the Korean culture. We are too pure and superior for them to understand.

Posted by: kimchilover | December 18, 2006 at 10:44 PM

The Great Leader tells you to shut up:

Posted by: kim | December 19, 2006 at 08:06 AM

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