Friday, September 17, 2004

Party Pooper Assaulted!

I was walking through the Sadang subway station, a fairly crowded area, when some sanity-challenged Korean walloped me with his umbrella on the back of my head. I turned around, rather stunned, and he made some wild gestures and grunts that either meant "Get the fuck out of my country you Imperialist pig," "Don't blame me, blame society," or just simply, "I'm Living la Vida Loca, baby!"

Then he turned and shambled away (only crazy homeless people "shamble," by the way. I'm pretty sure that word can only be used for them). I stood there with my mouth hanging open for 1.5 seconds, checked for blood and cooties, and went on my way.

This is the police sketch I had drawn later. Other distinguishing features include mismatched bathroom sandals (pink and light green), urine stained pants, and one mean umbrella (slightly dented).

Maybe I'm just a little nationalistic, but I really believe that our homeless in the States are far superior to the homeless in Korea. With the Korean homeless its always the same routine again and again: "Give me some money (or cigarettes), no? fuck you you foreign devil!" Where's the originality? Where's the class? Check this guy out (click to enlarge). You think you could find someone like this in Korea? Hell no. Our homeless got style!

Another advantage of the American homeless is that they can take full advantage of our advanced supermarket technology. In the States we all got it good!


Slumber Party!!!!

Word to the wise, watch yourself when you are walking around the area outside of Seoul Station (not the above picture, by the way). There's quite a gang of homeless people in the area and they don't take shit. I walked by them (about 20 or so in front of a building that had a lot of benches) in broad daylight and they stared me down pretty good. I'm not sure if they reserve their fury for foreigners or just hate all of the living, but it's not a place to be caught drunk and alone after hours.

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