LG Training Program Update and Ajoshi Cavorting

I met with my friend who is currently in the LG training program. As you may recall when I first posted on the LG training program, she had just finished a 5 day training period and was about to enter another 2 week period.

Basically the additional 2-week training program was really just more of what she went through the first week of training. The only thing to note is that this went on every day for 14 days.

She said that after a while you just didn’t think about anything. You didn’t think at all about what you were doing, just what you had to do to finish the task at hand. No questioning, no wondering what the point of anything is or how silly you look; just do whatever they want quickly so you can finish and hopefully get the full 5 hours of sleep before you start the insanity all over again the next day.

She’s not quite done yet. She has one more workshop called, Orwellian enough, “Innovation Workshop.” This is something that everyone has to do once every three years. Basically it’s five days of training and study (in addition to seminars and workshops, you have to read a lot and write daily reports). Oh, one more thing: you are only allowed ONE hour of sleep per day and they have ever-present "minders" who make sure you don't nod off.

That’s right, 5 days, a total of 5 hours of sleep.

Why do they call it “Innovation Workshop”? Who the hell knows.

Her coworkers who have been through this tell her that it is a good experience. After you complete it, you feel like you can do anything. You also realize (contrary to what every physician and sleep expert in the world would have you believe) that sleep is overvalued.

Of course, what it really means is that no matter what kind of insane demands you receive in your department in the future, they will seem quite reasonable and tolerable compared to what you went through in the “innovation workshop.” You are now perfectly conditioned for future gruesome hours of hard work.

The worst thing is that most departmental managers continue this military style leadership. The concept of calling in an errant employee into your office for a private berating is rather foreign. Workers are screamed out and humiliated in front of the whole department.

____


This is Kim Ssang Su, the CEO of LG Electronics. Read more about this dynamic guy in a write up here.

Since the article will be archived before long, here are the opening paragraphs:

Call Kim Ssang Su a man of the people. On a chilly night in the picturesque mountains south of Seoul, Kim, CEO of LG Electronics Inc., holds aloft a paper cup filled to the rim with soju, a clear, sweet potato-based Korean alcohol with a vicious bite. Surrounding him are a dozen of the 300 LG suppliers' managers whom Kim has spent the day lecturing and rallying. They have also been hiking up a snow-covered mountainside, nnecessary training, he says, for the grand plans he has for South Korea's second largest electronics firm. At the end of the day, he treats a group of LG Electronics employees to an outdoor barbecue of grilled pork and bowls of fiery red kimchi. "Great people! Great company!" he barks. "Great people! Great company!" they chant back, pumping their fists in perfect unison. Kim downs the soju in one gulp, then marches off to another table for another round of soju and another cheer. Then another, and another.

Eight tables and countless cups later, he is red faced, still screaming chants and bear-hugging an unfortunate reporter. When dancing girls in short skirts and blond wigs start jiggling to ear-numbing Korean pop music, the tireless Kim, 59, cavorts in a mosh pit of drunken workers near a makeshift stage. Later he ascends the stage himself, microphone in hand, to croon out a popular oldie called Nui (Sister). "We love our CEO," says Kim Young Kee, an LG executive vice president. "He shows us a good time."

"Shows us a good time," by the way, actually means "he gets us drunk and laid."

I know this may just be a cultural difference, but I would totally lose all respect for my boss if he were to get publically shit-faced and "cavort" with “dancing girls” (of barely legal age, I’m certain). And if you think the dancing girls are there just for some eye candy and minor fondling, you have a lot to learn about the standard after-hours practices of male company workers.

Now, I don't want to get too preachy here, but in my humble opinion "cavorting" is something you do in your early 20's. If your desire for regular cavorting continues into your 40's, you become quite pathetic in my book. Kim SSang gu, age 59, acts like a 21-year-old frat boy in public ("Dude!! The Gu-miester's got dancing chicks coming to his all-night kegger! Bitchin!!"). This is beyond pathetic. Can you imagine a CEO in the States or Europe (outside of France, anyway) doing this?

Does the maturity level of most Korean men top out at age 19? These are "father figures" in the Korean household?

Son: Mommy? Where is daddy? It's late.

Mother: Oh, daddy's out drinking and screwing girls about the same age as your older sister again. Don't worry, he'll stumble home drunk off his ass around 4 AM, scream and slap us around a bit, and then pass out on the living room floor in a puddle of his own vomit just like he always does.

Son: Wow! That's my dad!! I hope someday I can be just like him!

Mother: I'm sure you will, son. I'm sure you will.



To their credit, a considerable number of Koreans quit companies like LG and Samsung after a few years. They go on to smaller companies or start their own businesses. The money can't be as good, but at least they save their souls/humanity.

PS:
Some sad but true advice to pass on to Korean girls: I don’t care how sweet and faithful your Korean fiancée may be, if he is in any company that encourages/demands after-hours parties like the above (and that would be most of them), he will eventually be corrupted. The higher he goes up in the hierarchy, the more temptation he’ll face.

The advice? If you can’t develop some “open-minded” views or lowered expectations about marriage and fidelity, marry someone who is not and will not be in a “prestige” position. Sure, you’ll struggle financially, but at least you have a reasonable chance of having a meaningful marriage.

Conspiracy Theories

Went out the other night with a few Canadian acquaintances. When the conversation turned to Bush and Michael Moore (as all conversations seem to do these days) I became privy to some conspiracy theories I thought were long dead.

1. The 9/11 attacks were staged by the American government (as evidenced by the hit on the pentagon, which supposedly was not by a plane but by a missile)
2. North Korea is actually a good place, it's just imperialist propaganda that brainwashes people to see North Korea as an enemy and justify imperialist aims in Asia.
3. Nick Berg was beheaded by the CIA (he was already dead when severed by the Jihad "actors" in order to drum up more rage against Muslims).
4. There are no terrorists. The War on Terror is just an excuse for future decades of war propaganda to justify imperialist aims.

In his view, supposed "anti-Bush/America" sources such as Michael Moore and Al Jazeera (in response to what I thought was the obvious question: Why aren't more mainstream anti-Bush voices on to these theories?) are either ignorant of the depth of deception going on (and thus allowed to operate) or even possibly just fronts to give the illusion of opposition, while sources that are brave enough to expose THE TRUTH (!!!) are actively silenced.

[note that all caps and several exclamation points are required by both MLA and APA standards when reporting statements made by conspiracy theorists refering to the truth or falsehood of central beliefs: eg. How can you believe all the LIES fed to you by the American media!!!!]

Now, these views were held by only one of the two Canadians. The other one clearly didn't buy in to any of these views, and Mr Conspiracy Theory even admitted that he was no longer able to talk with his friends back in Canada about this (he lives abroad) because they were too closeminded and apparently affected by the media there.

Yeah, that famous pro-Bush imperialist Canadian media.



Now this person is a decent, kind, and (otherwise) intelligent human being. I expect this kind of reasoning (or amazing lack thereof) from a 13-year-old Saudi in his 5th year of religious "schooling" under the tutalage of a radical wild-eyed Imam (and the Joooos use the blood of arab babies for their ceremonial foods! It is the TRUTH!!!!). But what gives here?

It takes all kinds I guess...

Be the Reds 2: The Disappointment

The Olympics are coming up and with the Korean soccer team qualifying we’ll soon be treated to a rehash of Be The Reds hysteria back from the World Cup 2002 days.




Seoul: City Hall during the 2002 World Cup.

By the way, I'm the guy at the bottom-left hand side of the screen wearing a red shirt and eating dried squid.


[Warning: Irrelevant Side Rant]
First of all, a few words about soccer. This is not a real sport. Real sports are all symbolic reenactments of warfare. They require rough, physical contact and displays of brute strength, not just speed and finesse. I’m talking sports like football (“American” football), rugby, boxing and hockey.

Now, some say hockey is just a variant of soccer. This is true in the same way that dodge ball is a different form of playing tag: Same basic concepts but one is played by sissies who cry like 9-year-old girls when they fall down and the other is played by real men who feel the game really hasn’t started until someone is bleeding or spitting out a tooth.


Soccer players in action! Now click on this picture and try to tell me that soccer athletes are real men!



What in the hell is up with that hopping up and down while holding your wiener during a free kick? Is that a rule? If someone doesn’t hold their wieny are they penalized? Do the coaches run drills to make sure they are holding their weenies properly? What do women soccer players do? I’m seriously considering putting all soccer players on the Gaywatch files just for this embarrassing display alone.

[And now back to the main point of this post]

So anyway, back to soccer in Korea. Expect to see “Be the Red” nationalism again at its zaniest. There will be one key difference this time, no home field advantage. That means all the highly questionable calls that went Korea’s way probably just won’t happen again. In short: expect disappointment on a grand scale.




Hey, somebody get this guy a spellchecker before Scott at Mediasin (scroll down a bit)starts throwing candy at him.

The subject came up here with some of my English mates (“mates,” that’s England talk. I’m trying to pick up the lingo) and their view of Korea’s success in the World Cup was, as you might expect, on the negative side. They didn’t mind that Portugal, Spain and Italy were sent home crying, make no mistake, but they still thought the officiating was suspicious as bloody hell (there’s that lingo again).



"Miss World Cup"

Of course, there are some good things that will come out of all this hysteria. As the legendary Forgotit over at the Korean Herald forum once said, "She'd make the Pope stand up and beg for milk and hot biscuits" (whatever that means).




Even Fifa apparently admitted that the officiating was poor (not widely reported in the Korean media, I’d wager). I found a BBC Sport site that reviewed the World Cup. Now this is from a country that has no particular love for Souther European soccer teams so I think it's about as unbiased as you can hope for. Their assessment of those particular games went from questionable to criminal. Here's a sampling:

South Korea 2-1 Italy
Referee: Byron Moreno
• Totti is sent off for diving.
With the match in extra-time, Italian golden boy Francesco Totti goes down in the South Korean penalty box after a challenge from Song Chong-Gug.
His appeals for a penalty are not only turned down but referee Byron Moreno awards Totti a second yellow card for diving, reducing Italy to 10 men.

How bad? Pre-determined and provocative

_____

Tommasi's winner doesn't stand.
Damiano Tommasi latches on to a superbly angled through ball and slips the ball home for a golden goal winner.
But the linesman incorrectly flags for off-side.
Italy eventually lose on the golden goal and riots break out back home.

How bad? Just plain wrong

_____

Spain 0-0 South Korea (South Korea win 5-3 on penalties)
Referee: Gamal Ghandour
• Shoving accounts for Helguera's opener

Egyptian referee disallows Helguera's goal for pushing.
No Spanish player seems obviously guilty of the offence and Helguera is incensed.
At the end of the game Helguera is restrained as he charges at the referee.

How bad? Awful.

_______

Morientes is denied a glorious winner.
Fernando Morientes heads home Joaquin's cross to score Spain's golden goal winner.
But the referee's assistant Michael Ragoonath incredibly rules out the goal after he decides the ball had gone out of play before Joaquin crossed from the byeline.
An atrocious decision that costs Spain dearly. Coach Jose Antonio Camacho brands the match 'a scandal.'

How bad? Outrageous.

_____

Conclusion?

So far we think that Morientes' disallowed golden goal for Spain against South Korea is the worst of a bad bunch of decisions by the referees and their assistants.

Sorry to all you conspiracy-mongers out there, but you’ll notice that in each lousy call there was a different referee. Now sure, some Korean could have bribed all of them, but that’s not highly likely. For whatever reason, the refs just blew it. Maybe it was the odd cadence of the “Taehan Mingook” chant that threw them off.


I went through the reader’s comments on this article. The Korean entries were particularly interesting, especially when you consider how outraged Koreans were by the “Ono scandal” in the Salt Lake Olympics in which a ref made a controversial call that took the medal away from a Korean skater (can't recall the name nor summon the energy to look it up). I’ve collected some of the more choice comments below.

Although there were some mistakes made by the referees, if the whistle wasn't blown, the Korean goalkeeper would have definitely caught the ball. I'm sure the Korean team didn't want to win the match either if they knew that the whole world would be thinking the referees played a big role in our win.
In our point of view, we played a fair match. The whistle was clearly blown before the Spanish team had a kick on the ball. Also, nothing had been done in the Olympics when we lost our Gold medal through such poor judgment. Compared to that, this is nothing. Don't attack us because we're weaker than other countries. The world finding only our match as "injustice" is injustice itself.
SJ, South Korea

Ah yes, all countries in the world will agree that one gold medal in speed-skating is much more valuable than winning in the World Cup.
Oh, wait a minute, what planet are you on? Here on Earth speed skating is just slightly more important to the average person than badminton.

Classic quote: “Don’t attack us because we’re weaker than other countries.”
Victim mentality raises its ugly head. We’re not wrong, we are just innocent weak victims suffering from such Big Dick World Superpowers as Portugal, Spain and Italy. I guess some Koreans are so accustomed to using the “we’re just the powerless victim” line that they just can’t come up with new material.

“The world finding only our match as “injustice” is injustice itself.” How poetic. Too bad it’s also retarded.

The problem is that people no longer respect the refs, and rather trust TV broadcasters and ill-angled TV replays. Then why don't we start making the World Cup like stupid American Football? Maybe people will shut up about the refs if World Cup have timeouts, quarters, and commercial TV break in every three minutes.
Young Woo Park, S. Korea & USA

Poor Young Woo, life in the USA must not be going so well. Though this issue has absolutely nothing to do with the US, he can’t keep from taking out his frustration and impotent rage on evil America.

Tip to Young Woo: The “woo” thing doesn’t really work in English. Ever wonder why people always say, “Woo hoo!!” when they first hear your name? It has the same meaning as “Yahoo" and reminds us of a happy Homer Simpson. Get a nickname.

Back up to the first sentence: “The problem is that people no longer respect the refs, and rather trust TV broadcasters and ill-angled TV replays.”

Excellent quote. Naturally, that can be applied to the Ono incident as well, right? Right?

We don't feel we deserve to reach the semi-finals, not because our team is not good enough but because of Italy's childish blame over referees. I know there were mistakes, but Europeans blow up the excitement of the World Cup. I just hope we don't win next time. I don't want to hear German whining!
Sungjae,Korea

Sungjae! Wish granted!! Unfortunately, in the German-Korea game the referees were unable to actually kick in a goal for the Korean team and thus the march to the finals was cut short. Sucks when you have to play with the good referees, huh?

Newspapers and broadcaster have spoiled the World Cup. Have you seen the red card on Rivaldinho or Mexico's disallowed goal? Italy and Spain's negative broadcasting has led people to complain.
Y.J.Kim, Korea

Great analysis Y.J., hmmm…you don’t think that would apply to South Korea broadcasting and the Ono “scandal?” Naaaaa!!!

Absolutely not! I don't think FIFA should review the referee's decision.
However, I do suggest FIFA should consider adopting high-tech assistance like video clip reviews at all the matches.
As a matter of fact, quite a lot of Koreans are admitting that there were a couple of dubious refereeing decisions during the match, but I don't think they dictated the outcome.
Jo, Younghee,South Korea

But, didn’t you hear what Young "Woo-Hoo!" said earlier? Having replays like those stupid Americans would be terrible! Anyway, I'm sure Younghee also said the same thing about whether or not the Olympic committee should have reviewed the Ono skating event.

Oh yeah, disqualifying goals never really has much of an effect on the outcomes of games. Sure.
I mean, the refs could have disqualified 5 or 6 goals in the Germany versus Saudi Arabia game and the outcome would have been the same, right? However, for games that do NOT have scores of 8-0, perhaps the disqualification of a goal or two could have a just a teensy weensy little effect on the outcome? Especially considering that Korea only won one game in the whole tournament by more than one goal?

The level of the European team's game was not better than Korea's. Italy and Spain did not have their goals disallowed by referees, they kicked the ball after referees blew the whistle and the Korean team stopped playing.
Sang, Korea

Sorry Sang, but those goals were one-on-one with the goal-keeper (who didn’t stop playing). The other Korean players stopped (actually, most didn't) because they were already beaten. You see Sang "sung Blue," these things happen pretty damn fast and by the time the ref blew the whistle and it registered with the players the ball was already in the net. Good try though.

It's very sad but true. The referee was wrong, and Spain lost two great chances to win the game. Condolences to Spain - Sorry. I hope the game does not destroy the relationship between South Korea and Spain. Eddy Park, S Korea

Nice “Eddy.” Naturally, you need to be hauled back to Corea and given some “reeducation” on how to think appropriately. You have obviously been brainwashed by foreigners as further evidenced by the fact that you have disgraced the mother country by assuming a name of the enemy.

Anyway, As for the relationship between Spain and Korea, I’m sure that dozens of Spaniard tourists will continue to flock to your country each year, don’t worry. And of course, THIS guy will always be there to keep up relations between Spain and Corea (the true Corea, that is).

Fearless Prediction? Miserable showing by the Korean soccer team in the Olympics (one win, tops), to the endless glee of millions of taunting Portugese, Spaniards and Italians. It won't be pretty...

Love Letter to Kyoung Hee

[Old blog entry from previous site. Old news, but Lee Kyoung Hee's stupidity in general is still topical.]



The first woman to become an editor of a major newspaper in Korea is Lee Kyoung Hee (Korea Herald). Unfortunately, she's also a reactionary idiot. Her editorials are usually pointless summaries of whatever the issue of the day might be, but when she does actually put forward an argument she reveals herself to be even more biased and lacking in reason than the useful fools over at the Hankoryeh.



Here's a piece she did when the US forces refused to pay money to Korean residents of Maehyang-ri who complained of damages from the US firing range.

[Sorry, link only works now for "premium subscribers" of which I am not. Note to self: in the future always copy and save articles I link to. Basically she summarizes the verdict in favor of the residents in a Korean court and then demands that the US forces in Korea help pay. Here's another article that summarizes the issue]

Having described the court decision, Kyoung Hee then gives her own "opinion" on the issue.

Therefore, it defies our understanding why the U.S. Forces Korea refuse to pay their share of the 194 million won paid by our government to 14 residents of Maehyang-ri who recently won a damages lawsuit for noise caused by a firing range located in their village.

Defies your understanding? Yes, I’m sure it does, just like it defies my dog’s understanding why I always shit in a toilet and not in the dark corner of the living room by the sofa (Petey's favorite dumping ground before I learned him to shit on my neighbor's lawn and not in the house). Possible reason for these lacks of understanding? Two words: one starts with an “I,” the other starts with a “Q”

And what is the US army's excuse for not paying? The infamous SOFA.

It states that the Korean government will assure the use of facilities and "hold the U.S. government, as well as its agencies and employees, harmless from any third party claims which may be advanced in connection with such use."

Gosh. Seems quite clear to me, yet our big editor just can't seem to figure out what that means.

Pardon me for a moment while I try to help Kyoung Hee's lack of understanding.

Dear Kyoung Hee
[I’m not really familiar with her to normally call her by her given name, but in Korean customs it is ok to address an unfamiliar person by his or her given name if that person is subordinate to the speaker in terms of IQ by more than 30 points, which even I appear to clear by quite a comfortable margin]

You’ve written another big editorial! Good for you! And you used a new big word ("equilibrium"). Somebody’s been using her Learner’s Dictionary!! Later, I’d like to teach you another fancy word you can use someday: cretinous. Don’t worry about it now; you can look it up later.

I can see from your latest editorial that once again you have become confused by the icky-complicated real world of adults. Let me explain their reasoning to you simply.

Korea provides facilities to the US forces. Why? So the US army can do their job. What is their job? Protecting your asses from the madman up north. You have asked/begged us to do this for over 50 years now. With me so far sweetie?

Now, a firing range is a needed facility. The army practices shooting big guns there. They need to do this. Why? It is considered a good idea for soldiers to actually know how to shoot their big guns when attacked. Practice is a good thing. It would really suck to have a million North Koreans storming over the DMZ (despite all the love that's been going on between the Koreas, that's still exactly what the NK troops are positioned to do) and have to take time to find the instruction manual on how to make big gun go boom.

Now if the firing range is too close to Korean residents, this is a problem. Now, whose problem is it? The US army who is only using the land YOU gave them to do something YOU need them to do? Or was it YOUR mistake when you gave the US this land? Take your time with that one. No one is rushing you.

You really shouldn’t give the US army land to build a firing range on and then later say, “Oh, by the way, the land we gave you for the firing range is too close to some of our citizens, you’ll have to pay them big bucks.” That’s not very nice. It’s also not very fair. Yes, I’m accusing Korea of trying to be unfair to the US.

Uh-oh, I see I’ve just made you very upset and dizzy. I sense your emotions have already suppressed the portions of your brain that control logical thinking and we aren’t going to get any further today. Better sit down and do some deep breathing. Calm blue ocean….calm blue ocean…

Ok, you’d better go now. I’d like to talk to the adults again.


So what is Kyoung Hee's problem? I've narrowed it down to four possibilities.

 Physiologically brain impaired
 Divorced (making a person, as fellow Kor-blogger Oranckay noted here (scroll down for the comments), incapable of functioning reasonably for the rest of his/her life)
 Temporarily insane whenever nationalistic issues arise
 Constantly drunk


I don't have all the answers, but I'm thinking it's more than just one.

I don’t know what university she graduated from, but whichever one it is they owe the women's movement in Korea and intelligent people everywhere a big apology.

Crap Quota

Somebody Get This Man a Blog!
Cho Se-hyun: Local Ex-pat hero and sometimes seemingly the lone voice of reason in the ROK



Cho Se-hyun, a former AP reporter in the States and in Tokyo, has a weekly column at the Korean Herald. His posts are usually right on the money, and today's (well, last weeks) was no exception

According to Korean newspapers and television, those movies, as well as some of popular dramas made for television, are sweeping Japan, China, and other Southeast Asian markets, while the American industry is bracing itself for an onslaught of Korean movies.

I don't know how accurate those enthusiastic reports and rosy predictions for Korean movies are. But I am sure I am not the only one who has noticed how abruptly boasting by the Korean press, filmmakers, actors and actresses turns into whimpering as soon as someone starts mentioning the need for lowering the country's screen quota system.

That basically sums up the bullshit spewing from the mouths of the media and the film industry.

So which statement is correct?

A: "Our movies are as good as Hollywood's"
B: "Our industry is not developed enough to compete with foreign films"

Which is it, dumbfucks?

The correct answer, by the way, is C: none of the above

Now, if when you say "Hollywood" you are only thinking of the formula action movies big on special effects and well-known names but low on everything else (I.e. Armageddon, Independence Day, Daredevil, etc.), then perhaps that statement could be true: Yes, your films are no worse than a lot of the "blockbusters" that come out of Hollywood (and almost the ONLY foreign movies we can see in Korea thanks to the shitty quota system, fuck you very much).

But to compare Korean movies to the good flicks that come out of Hollywood and elsewhere is...well...no comparison. I'm talking Schindler's List, Lord of the Rings, American Beauty (I'm not sure, but I think the message in that movie was that the guy should have porked the teenager and he would have lived), Shawshank Redemption (which I think Korean TV has shown at least twice a week over the past 10 years), Pulp Fiction, etc. etc. etc.

I've seen the bulk of new Korean movies over the past 5 years. The ones that get the big hype (JSA, Swili, Friend, Sassy Girl etc.) are just average films by world class standards. Korean films were so painfully shitty for so long that when finally some directors put out something even approaching mediocrity the whole country goes apeshit (and even some expats who seem to have lost the ability to discriminate).

So then why is choice "B" (industry can't compete with foreign films) likewise incorrect?
The Korean film industry has the big advantage of an audience that desperately wants it to succeed. Just make a mediocre to decent film and they'll flock to it (basically, it's no more difficult than making a movie for an audience no more critical than your own mother).

Cho Se-hyun has talked about this issue a while back (couldn't get the link, it's been archived) and accurately predicted the infantile reaction of the film industry to demands to drop the quota system. I'll let Cho Se-hyon finish this bitch off:

Indeed, there have been several Korean movies of late that have been successful at the domestic box office. In year-end assessments of the movie industry, television networks and newspapers were euphoric about how great those movies were. Some of them even proclaimed: "There is no Hollywood," "We beat Hollywood at its own game," and so on.

Yet, I bet my last won that the minute the United States and other countries start asking the government to lift the screen quota system, the movie industry will come up with some excuse to keep the system in place for another year. There just seems to be no end to greed in this country; some people don't seem to realize the simple truth that everything in the world is done on a give-and-take basis.

PS
By the way, I saved Cho Se-hyun's picture from the Korea Herald to put on this post and this was the name of the picture that the Korean Herald people had named it:

“cum_face2”

What the fuck is up with that? I can't imagine that "The Cho" is very popular in this country. It's one thing when someone from the "Angry Expat Brigade" (of which I have raised in rank to a lieutenant, by the way) points out Korea's flaws, but when one of your own does it? That must really get under the skin of the nationalistic segment of this country that seems to dominate these days.

Yay peace guys!

This is a blog entry from my old "Blog-City" site I wanted to move over here. The previous post on the "historical" 6/15 summit brought this "peace guys" post back to mind. I updated it a little (the previous link was dead) and added some more as well.

One difference between when I first posted this peace and now is that after the recent elections idiots that believe this NGO's line of reasoning are now in power. Yippie.



Here is yet another Korean NGO website: People's Solidarity for Participatory Democracy (PSPD).

Most interesting is their "action body" called The Center for Peace and Disarmament

As usual, I'll select some choice quotes from their Message of Peace and Love and add my unbiased, objective commentary that you all have come to expect.

The peace movements within the civil society that rose between 2001 and 2003 show that South Korean civil society, which had experienced the Korean war and national division, was breaking away from rigid perceptions concerning war and was starting to accept new values concerning peace.

Ah! New values!! And it's about time too! The past 50 years have been quite brutal to Korea, what with all this, uh, improper peace and resulting prosperity that has been going on for the last 50 years thanks to those big-nosed western barbarians. It is shocking that these kinds of peace movements did not start much earlier.

Experiences such as the Inter-Korean summit, improvements in north-south Korean relations, the 2002 Korea-Japan World Cup, anti-war movements against the war in Afghanistan, movements against the F-X project, candlelight rallies in the memory of the two middle school girls killed by a US military truck, debates on peace and war during the recent presidential elections, and movements against the dispatching of troops to Iraq and against the war in Iraq have all led peace-loving people to reject the choice of war as policy and theory of pro-security and voice their concerns.

I'm sorry, you lost me Peace Guys. Some of these things are related, but most are not. What does the 2002 World Cup have to do with the peace movement? The candlelight rallies for the victims of the accident were anti-war? Hmm...I don't think these all fall under a unified topic of "Peace movement." Try something like "random ultra-nationalistic anti-Americanism." Yeah, now everything you mentioned fits in nicely. Isn't it great how ultra-nationalism and hatred can make someone so Peace-loving? Why wasn't Jesus onto this?

From the view of new security and order in the 21st century, the reality based on south Korea-US alliance is antithetic to the new world view.

Uh huh. And this "new world view" is what now? Oh yeah, the view that North Korea is good and the US is evil. Sorry! I have a hard time keeping that straight sometimes. It's just these damn North Korean refugees who keep opening their loud mouths about the evils of the Kim Jeong il regime that make me confused sometimes. Can't you do something to shut them up? Are KBS and the Hankyoreh the only media outlets truly patriotic enough to pretend these people don't exist?

The peace movement is a cultural movement for the establishment of a peaceful culture. First of all, the peaceful cultural movement rejects the theory of war of national liberation.

Ok, no war to liberate people. I'm sure you have 100% support from Kim Jeong il, Saddam Hussein and all other bloodthirsty tyrants who wish to fuck over their citizens without interference from the outside world. Oh, I guess another charge you can make against the US is that the bloody imperialistic war they had against Japan which ended up freeing Korea. We should have let the Japanese keep Korea, and just peacefully urged them to reconsider their evil ways for at least a few decades. I'm sure they would have come around eventually and South Koreans would have been just fine waiting for that happy day to arrive without any interference from the meddling US.

What else? Oh, I'm sure Tibet will be free any day now since the entire world, including the US, is so nice and progressive enough to just let peace melt the hearts of the Chinese occupiers. And how about those evil Palestinians and those suicide bombings? They should be severely condemned for not following peaceful methods to get Israel out of their lands. Ok Peace Guys, I get it now!

Ultimately, peace must be discussed as a lifestyle. Coexistence, the diversity of life, and tolerance should be practiced in daily life.

Of course, what they really mean is coexistence with regimes like Kim Jeong il. Hey, you say tom-ah-to, I say tom-aye-to. Kim Jeong il butchers and starves his people, the free world gets fat and spoiled with prosperity. To each his own!!

Oh! One question! Does this "tolerance practiced in daily life" extend to American Gis stationed in Korea at your country's request? Or will you still insist that they be punished for wrongdoings beyond what Korean law would do for its own citizens? And are you also encouraging more tolerance of Japan rather than brainwashing your kids to hate them? Hey, what am I saying? Of course you do!! These are progressive, open-minded, loving, drunk on sunshine Peace Guys!!

The culture of peace frees us from our nationalistic interests.

[insert rim-shot laughter cue here]

When we are thus free, we can counter globalization that causes inequality and conflicts.

The "culture of peace" will lesson nationalism AND counter globalization? Cooooool. It's amazing what makes sense after the 3rd bottle of soju, huh?

Above all, the awareness for breaking away from the fear of death and the rationale for controlling oneself against profits are traits that must be attained by peace lovers.

Ok, I admit I'm pulling this one out of context a little (they are relating their philosophy to that of Kant), but it just sounded so honest and prophetic on its own. For those who would like to see idiots like these rule Corea, being able to overcome the fear of death and "control yourself against profits" is sound advice indeed. Just ask the average North Korean.

Also required are a partially deformed reason to free oneself from the rationale of security and economics and a secondary or voluntary deformity to break free from what we know.

"Deformed reason to free oneself from the rationale of security" Well said. What other hideously deformed reasoning do you have to offer us?

In this aspect, we have to pursue changes in our language and habits as well as changes within the citizens' movements. We also need to undertake media monitoring.

Oh! Oh! I know this one! Changes in language means no more talking bad about North Korea so they do not get their feelings hurt. How would YOU like it if people kept calling you bad names every time you systematically kill off a million or so of your own people? Not very good I'd wager! That's why it's such a noble, courageous and progressive idea for South Korea to refrain from condemning North Korea on human rights. And it is good to note that the media should be monitored to make sure no one strays from the party line. May I make a suggestion? Don't reinvent the wheel; just follow the already tried and true policy the North Koreans have. It does the exact same thing!!

At the moment, the most urgent issues concern the nuclear conflict between North Korea and the USA as well as the related crisis on the Korean Peninsula.

Conflict between NK and the US? SK has no interest in the peninsula staying nuke free? Since when did "peace movements" have no interest in stopping the production of nuclear bombs which in turn would cause surrounding countries to likewise arm themselves? Confusion returns.

The policies of the government will be evaluated and alternatives from civil society will be proposed. In the long term, we aim to build peace and a system of corporation on the Korean Peninsula and in East Asia by countering the US-centered power system.

"Countering the US-centered system"? You mean the same system that has held off a second unprovoked attack from a million NK troops poised on the DMZ to strike? The same system that has prevented Japan from fully rearming? The same system that has kept China from over-running Taiwan? You go girl! I can't wait to see what you intend to replace all that with.

The ultimate aims peace and disarmament are the reductions of arms and breaking away from security-oriented policies.

Yay! And Kim Jeong il PROMISES he will do the same without the need for verification, just like he almost kept his promise not to build nukes. Oh yeah, getting away from security-oriented policies. Nothing gives Kim Jeong-il a boner like that kind of talk coming out of South Korea.

It might seem too idealistic...

What? No! Who would ever accuse Peace Guys of being ignorantly idealistic and dangerously naive?

but citizens monitoring of the military and security sectors must be expanded to take up issues with the increase of military weapons and human rights violations in North Korea.

Ok, you got me. That's not what the site said. The real sentence finishes with, "human rights violations in the military." Rest assured that the Peace Guys (which include several human rights NGOs) not once ever condemn North Korea for human rights violations. If Kim Jeong il tortures and/or kills anyone who does not follow his authoritarian rule, it is not really THAT bad, is it?


In the old days, Peace Guys were hippies who, though perhaps not having the firmest grasp on reality, did good drugs and listened to music that kicked the ass of all music that had come before. They may have been stoned, but at least when they talked about peace and love they had a degree of sincerty. Also, to their credit most eventually put away their bongs, got jobs, and became rational human beings (well, those who lived outside of San Francisco anyway).

The new brand of Peace Guys seems a little different to me. "Love is all you need" has been replaced with "Hate of the US is all you need." I am not saying that the US can't be criticized on war and peace issues. I am just saying that it is very telling what regimes Peace Guys criticize and what regimes they avoid talking about or bend over backwards defending. All this energy being directed at the US and not a peep about the true monsters of our age; that is what the Peace Guys have become.

The day that the US considers carpet-bombing France to resolve some free trade issue or decides to invade Canada just because they call our President a moron I will jump on the Peace bandwagon and be at the next protest calling for Bush's head (hmm, not a very "peaceful" action I guess, but anyway...)

But so long as the US is playing hardball with monstrous (and yes, evil) dictators like Saddam Hussein and Kim Jeong il and medieval regimes like the Taliban, I think I will save my energy for something else. Get some fucking perspective already.

The nutty professor

This is an article from the Korean Times by "nutty" Professor Kim Keun-sik. Let's get out our "blue Corea" flags and wave it along as he edumicates us on the great value of the 2000 Inter-Korean summit (you know, the one where Kim Jeong il and Kim Dae Jung got all snuggly).


Hi! My name is Kim Keun-sik and I'm a professor of something in Kyungnam University. By the way, I'm also retarded! But don't just take my word for it; please read my article and find out for yourself!

It has now been four years since the June 15, 2000 joint declaration was made. The inter-Korean summit talks leading to that declaration is an accomplishment in itself that has historical significance. If we look at the conflict-filled history between the two nations since the division, the fact that the leaders of the two enemy countries hugged each other with broad smiles shows that the first step toward the era for reconciliation has been taken.

I agree, it was historically significant. The summit, as Keun-sik apparentely forgot to mention, was purchased for the parsely sum of 100 million dollars, ergo the willingness of Kim Jeong il to smile, hug and shake hands (hell, I would hump someone's leg like a dog for that kind of money). The historical signficance is that from that point forward Kim Jeong Il and Co. are now assured that the South Korean government will in no way try to get them to change their evil ways. No compromise is too big, no blackmail payoff is too high. We are one people!!

Besides general agreements such as the principle of autonomy and the recognition of a plan for reunification, the joint declaration touched on resolving humanitarian issues,

Ignore the "general agreements" because they are completely meaningless, but what's this you say? Resolving humanitarian issues? Did, Kim Dae Jung, that famous crusader for democracy and human rights, get Kim Jeong il to commit to changing his atrocious human rights record?

including the reunification of separated families; economic cooperation and bilateral exchanges; and regular convening of inter-Korean talks between the two Koreas.

Oh. I guess the subject of a million plus dead North Koreans, political concentration camps, and the general day to day crushing of thought and spirit by the Norcs just didn't come up. I bet on the last meeting Kim Dae Jung was saying, "Damn, there was one more thing I wanted to bring up but I just can't remember it right now...ah well, it probably wasn't that important! Enjoy all our money!"

Now, "reunification of separated families" should read "very brief and heavily monitored reunification of separated families paid for by the South and thus at absolutely no inconvenience or threat to the North Korean regime." It is certainly a good thing and the more the better, but let's not kid ourselves into thinking it reflects any real change in the North. Get the North to actually let these elderly people return to the south and live out the remainder of their lives with a full belly admist their loved ones and I'll be impressed.

"Economic Cooperation and bilateral exchanges" means South Korea agrees to send a shitload of money and goods to North Korea and North Korea agrees to accept it (assuming they can remove all traces of evidence of its origin and that they can use it secretly in any way they wish). Thanks Kim Dae Jung!!

Now, four years later, we can see in various places how the ``strength’’ of the June 15 declaration is building up. More than anything else, the strength of the declaration can be seen in the South’s society.

Yes, the "strength" of the June 15 declaration can ONLY be seen in the South's society!! Thank you for being honest Keun-sik. You see, these days, "progress" is made by changing the society in democratic south and not demanding ANY changes from our comrades to the north. Also, it was a good call to put quotation marks around "strength." It saved me from having to mentally do that myself.

The development of exchanges between the two Koreas since the summit talks and the acceleration of reconciliation of the peoples resulted in the political victory of forces for peace in the 2002 election. And in the recent April elections, for the first time in our constitutional history, the forces for reconciliation of the two Koreas became a majority in the National Assembly.

So, thanks to summit talks the Corean government is finally moving away from forces critical of North Korea. Indeed, this IS great progress. Now lets see, you paid money a ton of money to Kim Jeong il AND delivered a friendly government. In return, Kim Jeong il agreed to do nothing to substantially change his government or treat his people better in any way. You shrewd negotiators you!

After the summit, the conflict between South and North remained, but the changing times showed the mood was turning towards reconciliation and cooperation.

Yeah, unfortunately North Korea kept killing South Korean soldiers (well, their navy anyway) and decided to break their agreement about not making nukes. Hmmm...maybe you should have given them more money? Anyway, fortunately the progressives were able to ignore those little details and keep blindly pushing on towards reconciliation.

Despite protests by conservatives, the movement to help North Korean victims of the recent explosion at Ryongchon enjoyed a great deal of support, and became an example of how the strength of the June 15 declaration was one that couldn’t be ignored.

Protests from conservatives? Missed that one, unless you are talking about those troublemakers who were critical of North Korea for stalling efforts to get medical supplies to the injured.
Ah yes, thanks to the June 15 declaration now we can rest assured that North Korea will take as much money and supplies from us as we will give. Yes, truly another great strength of the June 15th declaration.

Oh, one question! How are the other 30+ million starving North Koreans doing? What, isn't the June 15 declaration helping them out in some way? What about the hundreds of thousand refugees being hunted down and shipped back to North Korea by the Chinese? Anything in the declaration for them? No?

Also, the strength of the June 15 declaration is affecting the development of South-North relations and the development of peace in the peninsula. After the summit, there have been 14 ministerial conferences and nine Inter-Korean Committee for the Promotion of Economic Cooperation talks between the two nations. Meetings between the two countries have now entered a level of order and structure, and the civic exchanges and cooperation between countries have developed so quickly it is difficult to absorb all the progress in detail.

Yes, many, many meetings. So much progress to absorb in detail. I'm sure if Keun-sik had the time, he would tell us all of this great, great progress towards peace on the peninsula. Let's just take his word for it and stop asking so many pestering questions.

And so the BS continues. No time for details, just generalized statements that mask the fact that the summit was by any rational analysis a victory only for Kim Jeong il regime. The Sunshine policy has not resulted in ANY significant change in the North Korean regime nor is there any reason to hope it will do so in the near future.

This is what passes for critical analysis from academia? As usual, not one word of reproach or even caution about a regime that will go down in history as equals with Hitler and Pol Pot. Can this kind of professor really be so naive? Is it just denial?

I'm not big on conspiracy theories, but when I see these progressive types bend over backwards to avoid criticizing such an infamous regime and spewing such blatant bullshit I have to wonder if the Norcs infiltration plans into the South Korean government and institutions aren't a little more successful than we'd like to believe.