Lap Dances Included?

This is a new one for me: China cracks down on striptease funerals.

Strip shows have been commonly used to attract more mourners to
funerals, as villagers believe a crowded send-off brings more honor to
the deceased, Xinhua news agency said.

But police took action after state television exposed the "obscene
performances" at a funeral in Donghai county, Jiangsu province, with
200 people including children in attendance, it said.

Suddenly Korea seems a helluva lot more normal.

Interesting though.  I was of the opinion that naked girls dry humping a casket would probably bring a little less honor to the deceased, but then that's probably just little old prudish me. I can just see the sobbing widow now forcing a smile as she stuffs some bills down a stripper's g-string, while the first son negotiates for a private dance in a back room, 'cause that's what Daddy would have wanted.'

Got this pic from a blogger based in Taiwan, where I suspect this kind of thing is old news. Not sure if she's working a wedding or a funeral, but it's nice to see the ajummas enjoying her performance.

Comments from original post


That's what I want at my funeral.

Posted by: Joel | August 26, 2006 at 11:08 PM

If my view of the world had not already become too cynical, I'd have thought this was a fake story.

But, If it were possible, I'd be pissed if my wife had to hire strippers to get people to come to my funeral. Not that I'd care if few came otherwise. But, pissed because I couldn't enjoy it....

Posted by: usinkorea | August 27, 2006 at 02:08 AM

The author of this blog seems extremely pervert in conjuring up disparagement of Koreans. Are you crippled in mind or... born with head below your feet or...?

Posted by: EB | September 04, 2006 at 10:22 AM

The commenter above seems unable to realize this is a post about China. Or perhaps he thinks China and Korea are the same country? Is he crippled in mind? Pervert in the lacking English? Born with head up the ass?

Posted by: scott | September 04, 2006 at 04:09 PM

'Scott'. The word 'Ajumma' doesn't apply to Chinese. So, what do you say now?

Posted by: Yunie | September 19, 2006 at 09:37 PM

Yunie, are you saying that in China there are no middle aged married women?

Or do you find it offensive if someone refers to a Chinese person using Korean terminology? Do you think the English language is degraded if Korean words are borrowed by native English speakers?

Posted by: partypooper | September 21, 2006 at 01:24 AM

What I'm trying to imply is that, if you're Korean youself, (maybe) why disgrace your own country?

Posted by: Yunie | September 23, 2006 at 10:11 AM

I believe the picture comes from a wedding, not a funeral.

Posted by: Mike | October 31, 2006 at 07:11 PM

Population Crisis and the Noh Response

The Korea Times ran an article on Korea and Taiwan having the lowest birthrates in the world. This is the second year in a row for Korea. It just so happens I have done a bit of research on this matter. Some of the more interesting tidbits:

1. The Japanese population is estimated to begin its decline this year. By the year 2100, if current trends continue, the population of Japan will be half of what it was in 2005.

2. Before the Koreans start celebrating this, however, they should realize they are not far behind. The Korean population should begin to decline around 2020 and will likewise be severely reduced by 2100.

3. In 2020 the Korean workforce will lack over a 1.5 million workers. Around 2040 the economy will pretty much be fucked unless Korea is willing to let in millions of migrant workers.

4. The Noh Response? Way too little and way too late. Current incentives to have children are very little and predictably are having no effect. A friend of mine in Seoul will have 3 children soon, and found out that all he will get is a one time payment of 50,000 won for his third child. Yippie! People who make less money than he does will get more, but that misses the whole point. It's the middle and upper classes that are having less children, knowing what each child will cost them in education costs (about 128 grand from birth to graduation).

They also plan to provide more for childcare around 2010 (can't do it now, as all their extra money either goes to keep the North Korean army fed and clothed or to increase their own military spending so they can defend themselves against said army. You try to financially support your own army and your enemy's and see how much money you have left over!).

I can't see better childcare having much effect anyway. Germany has one of the best childcare and maternal leave programs in the world and their birthrate is the worst in Europe (which is saying something).

5. Korea is not alone in failing to address birthrate problems. No country that has fallen below 1.5 birth rate has managed to bring the birth rate back to the replacement levels of 2.1.

6. By 2050, Korea will have the highest proportion of elderly citizens to those in the workforce: 1:1. To enjoy the same level of government assistance the elderly have now, taxes will need to more than double.

7. Real estate prices in Japan have been dropping since the early nineties. Prices for commercial land now are roughly the same as they were in the late 1970s. Any house or apartment that is bought today will most certainly be worth far less after the average young couple will be able to pay off the housing loan. There is no reason to believe that Korea will not follow the same pattern in the future, though I suspect certain areas like Kangnam will resist the decline to some extent.

8. Russia's population has been in the decline since 1992. There are roughly 8 million fewer Russians now than in 1992. Currently, the population is declining by about 800,000 a year. Not only do they have a low birth rate, but their death rate is quite high.

9. The population of white Americans (non-Hispanic whites, that is) is at a standstill, while minority populations are still growing. Half of the population of LA is Hispanic. In Texas and Florida, Hispanics will be the dominant ethnic group in a few decades. By 2050, the white race will make up less than 50% of the entire population.

10. #9 shouldn't really be troublesome to 'white America'. Second and third generation minorities seem just as 'American' to me as white people. It just seems like a fulfillment of what the 'melting pot' was supposed to be all about anyway.

11. Thanks to immigration and minorities having a lot of babies. America isn't going through the crisis that Asian countries face. While most minority groups assimilate relatively well in the States, European countries can't say the same. Muslims make up the bulk of immigrants, and they are far more resistant to assimilation. It's a problem that many politicians and intellectuals don't want to face, but the fact is 'liberal Europe' may be all but extinct by 2100.

The way I see it, America will be one of the very few developed countries that will get through all of this relatively unscathed.

12. In terms of being an economic powerhouse on the world stage, Korea and Japan do seem completely screwed, and China will have its own problems as well. However, for individual Koreans and Japanese, all of this is not necessarily bad news. Even though Japan's economy has been stagnant for years, per capita incomes have been fine. The population shrinks faster than the economy, so per capita incomes actually have a greater chance to rise than decline. Homes become more affordable and overall living standards are likely to increase. This is how business analyst Michael Backman sees it, anyway, in his book 'The Asian Insider', and he backs up it well with current data on Japan. Overall purchasing power of Japanese has increased significantly over the past few years and there is no reason to see Korea being different.

Comments from original blogpost


You paint a rosier picture of America's demographic future than does Pat "The Cannon" Buchanan. I prefer your picture to his. Ol' Pat's sorta scared of us off-white folks.

Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | August 23, 2006 at 10:49 AM

That was very a edumacated and fascinating analysis Pooper. Here's a summary: Roh is a fucktard.

Posted by: Massive Panda | August 23, 2006 at 05:17 PM

Fuck em I say. There are too many people in the fucking world already. Too many snot nosed brats and shit faced idiots using up oxygen and resources in their dumb pointless lives. The less people the better. BRING IT ON.

Posted by: Cockestien | August 28, 2006 at 07:43 PM

Great Post, Pooper:

What you mentioned about Japan is right on. They've had stagnant and even negative growth for several years in the late 90's and since 2000, and the sky hasn't fallen. It's not that big a deal.

But as for America, what you say about Americans assimilating is right on. I don't know of any other country where the immigrants, after simply one generation, take on such a Rambo style patriotism. Some of the biggest Bush supporters are second generation immigrants. They've totally forgotten (or never learned/retained) their culture, but they are dyed in the wool flag waving patriots. Is it the American dream (a wood and sheetrock house in the suburbs with a 2 car garage) that makes them that way?

Posted by: yankabroad | September 07, 2006 at 06:08 AM



Actually, Cockestien, I totally agree with you.

Why don't you present your case to the retards at the Korea Development Institute?

Posted by: yankabroad | September 16, 2006 at 08:57 AM

I usually only comment when I am angry at someone, but your blog entry is a very, very good piece of analysis. Thank you,
Tae from Maryland.

Posted by: sumo294 | September 21, 2006 at 08:14 AM

Fruits of the 386 Generation

In the Korean bi-annual Pardon Fest, President Noh Mu Hyun once again showed his commitment to cleaning up corruption by pardoning his former aides who were indicted for illegal fund raising in the 2002 presidential election.

So basically, Noh is grandly showing them forgiveness for illegally raising funds that helped put Noh in office.

Noh Mu Hyun: Go thy way, and sin no more.

Here the are two in question. Fresh, young faces of the Noble 386 Generation that valiantly avoided their university classes and raged, RAGED I say, against the corrupt government of the 80's. Considering their previous service and sacrifices to help make their country democratic and shiny pure, how could anyone blame Noh for overlooking their current abuses of power trivial violations? This goes right up there with Noh pardoning all those involved in illegally funneling money to the North for the 2000 Summit. The Korean Constitution, afterall, shouldn't get in the way of progress.

But to be fair, Noh also pardoned some members of the opposition party, the GNP, which is the true master of securing illegal campaign funds.

Former Grand National Party (GNP) lawmakers Suh
Chung-won and Kim Won-kil, both convicted of illegal fundraising during
the last presidential election, were also included in the special
amnesty list.

So I guess that makes everything ok. Bravo, President Noh, for cleaning up the government just as you said you would. Who will dare break election laws in the future now?

And a big Bravo Your Life to the 386 Generation for all they have done for Corea. One can only look forward to how the next generation will screw makeover the government.

 

Lee Seung-yeop Outrage!

The 'Homerun King of Asia' was robbed of a hit by foul Japanese umpires for the second time this season. In the ninth inning Lee's hit to left field was ruled a fly out, but instant replays showed that it bounced before being caught.

After an appeal failed, Lee's outrage could not be held back:

Returning to the dugout, Lee kicked an advertising board with anger three times and shouted toward the ground.

Hear the Lion King's roar!

The 'hit' would have been, by the way, meaningless, as the team had already secured a large lead and won 8-4. But it just wouldn't be Korean for Lee not to freak out (and all the Korean news agencies to run a story on it).

Seung-yeop has ruled the Japan league this year though. Only Fukudome (the player who, incidentally, was key to Japan's victory over Korea in the World Baseball Classic) has the stats to match him. It will be very interesting to see how the MVP award goes. Fukodome leads the league in batting average (354) with Seung Yeop no slouch at 323. Seung Yeop leads in homeruns and Fukodome leads in production. Very close call, though Fukodome's team is leading their division and sometimes that can be a deciding factor. Perhaps this is why Lee was so upset over one otherwise meaningless hit.

Anyway, I'm sure it was good fodder for the Japanese media to support their favorite Korean stereotypes. They don't like foreigners coming in and doing too well in their league, and that probably goes double for Koreans. Some say that the Japanese media and public in general are more mature about these kinds of things than their counterparts in Korea. Perhaps, to some extent, but I suspect they're mostly just better at hiding it.

What would be most interesting is to see Lee clearly have the stats to take MVP and see what the Japan league does about it. The Japanese can be no less racist when it comes to these things as Korea, who notoriously denied dirty foreigner Cliff Brumbaugh the MVP and even a starting spot on its All Star roster, despite clearly dominating the Korean league a few years back.

Fukodome will probably take the honor one way or another. It will be fun to watch the fireworks when this 'scandal' takes place.

As for Seung-yeop, it's seems a lock that he'll be in the Majors next year. A good showing in the Baseball Classic and a very strong season in Japan have sealed it.

Time for some Fearless Predictions.

Seung yeop does not get as good a deal as he (read: the Korean media) thinks he should get from the MLB clubs. They'll compare it with what some other Japanese stars like Ichiro got in the past and if its a penny less, they'll bitch.

Seung Yeop will come very close not to signing with the MLB, citing the above 'insult'. What's really behind the hesitation, however, is a fundamental fear of failure at the highest level of the game. Seung Yeop has the goods physically, but mentally he can be inconsistent, as evidenced by his failure in the first year of Japanese baseball ( and this after complaining that he should have been given a starting position in the Majors).

He'll eventually take the offer though. It's just too blatantly chickenshit to stay in Japan.

He'll start the season off somewhat well, and the Korean media will be all over it, predicting all sorts of exaggerated achievements like they always do. Great blogging material will abound. Kevin from Incestuous Amplification fame will come out of retirement as the bullshit will just be too stinky to ignore.

Seung-yeop will then go into a slump and be taken off the starting lineup. The first year will basically be written off as a 'learning period', just like his first year in Japan. The Korean sports media will somehow manage once again to learn nothing from the whole experience, despite being burned in this way time and time again.

In the second year, Seung-yeop will go to another team and have a chance to start again. He'll do ok, with occasional flashes of greatness. He'll earn a spot in the line up around 5 or 6 and finish out his career as a decent player, probably the best Korean hitter in the Bigs overall for the time being. In short, he won't be great, but he'll do well enough eventually and despite the Korean sports media desperation for their own Ichiro,  it will be a very respectable achievement.

As it is written, so shall it come to pass.

Comments from original blog post

I hate baseball with a passion. I wish there were something I could do to get you to stop talking about it. I think I'll sue you.

Posted by: Joel | August 10, 2006 at 04:47 PM

hehe, on what grounds?

Posted by: littlebrownasian | August 10, 2006 at 05:58 PM

"I wish there were something I could do to get you to stop talking about it."

Try putting on a suit and knocking on the pooper's door with a goofy smile on your face and a bible in hand. Those Latter Day Saints are so damned convincing, they could sell me my own balls.

Posted by: iheartblueballs | August 10, 2006 at 09:06 PM

Hmmm...I think I'd prefer to be sued.

Posted by: partypooper | August 10, 2006 at 09:23 PM

"Those Latter Day Saints are so damned convincing, they could sell me my own balls."

Aaah, those LDSes......anyone watch Orgazmo? =D

Posted by: littlebrownasian | August 10, 2006 at 10:08 PM

Master of Sock Puppets

Got back in Korea today. Was in the UK doing all manner of mysterious things in Oxford. Nice little place, lots of old buildings. Spent a day in London as well. Big place, also had lots of old buildings. Saw Parliament (Kevin? Can you give me a spell check on that? I know there's a superfluous 'a' in there somewhere, 'paraliment'? 'paarliment'?). I had just seen it gettin' blowed up real good in the movie 'V for Vendetta' while flying over from Korea/Singapore. It wasn't so bad seeing it in the non-blowed up form as well though, so yeah, I recommend it.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Over at Occidentalism Matt has 'outed' Kushibo and Nora (of Nora knows Nada) as one in the same person. (is that one t or two t's on the past tense of 'out'? Joel, feel free to jump in as well, I still remember the time you helped me figure out the plural form of 'penis' way back when--though I still prefer 'peni').

From what I recall, the main evidence is that once Nora accidentally posted a comment as Kushibo on Marmot's Hole, then came back in the next comment to say s/he accidentally used a computer that Kushibo had previously logged in on and didn't realize it at first. I guess that could happen if they work together and happen to share the same computer and Kushibo logs in to Marmot's hole all day long. I guess... Funny they never spoke as if they were familiar with each other before though.

Another piece of evidence is that Nora gave out an email address that happened to be one for Democrats Abroad, which Kushibo is supposedly affiliated with (the President? I can't remember), which is also odd since Nora claims to be a Republican (and a lesbian one to boot).

Kushibo/Nora have yet to respond, and have been suspiciously absent from the blogosphere, even over at the Marmot's (a man and a sock puppet were seen driving slowly towards the Mexican border in a white Ford Bronco though, if that means anything)

Having never been one who hesitates to rush to judgment, I thought these three pictures were the most appropriate for the occasion. It probably goes without saying, but the sock puppet on the far right is a lesbian Republican.

In case you were like me and didn't catch the 'sock puppet' reference, get yourself learned up on it here.

So anyway, there is a slight Party Pooper connection here, ergo this post (well, I  really had been looking for an excuse to show off one of my sock puppet creations as well...)

As some of you may recall, several weeks ago I had a short post that suggested I had previously posted something I came to regret and deleted it. The post I deleted was critical of Kushibo for a comment he made about Nomad that I thought was a cheap shot. Anyway, the post came out a little meaner than it needed to be and when I woke up 7 hours later I saw that Kushibo had already responded to it and explained his intent with what he said about Nomad. I decided to just delete the whole thing and let both of us go back to just ignoring each other.

Well...going through the thread on Matt's Kushibo/Nora post, it was brought to my attention that Kushibo had posted on that entry. Nothing wrong in the Kushibo's response itself necessarily, though I do wonder why he reprinted my post in its entirety rather than just link to it. But anyway, what he said was fine and perhaps even admirable in that he didn't sink to my level and start hurling back insults.

But in the comments section is a short dialog between 'Nora' and Kushibo:

        At Thursday, July 06, 2006 12:35:52 PM,
        nora sumi park said...
      

       

"I
don't think half of the comments this guy makes on other people's blogs
(and he certainly makes a lot of them) are really about adding to the
issue so much as he just really needs to know that he's being paid
attention to."

ouch! when a guy who writes things like this says that you
are a shameless attention seeker, you know you've been burned. by a
black pot. calling the kettle black. you know what expression i'm
talking about.

   
      

        At Monday, July 10, 2006 6:48:40 PM,
        Kushibo said...
      

       

Nora, are Kevin Kim and Party Pooper the same person? I thought they were two separate people, not one person with two blogs.

The 'this' link from Nora connects with Kevin Kim of Big Hominid fame, making a poetic argument for the liberal use of profanity. Thus, Kushibo comes on later and asks why she implies that Kevin Kim and the Party Pooper are the same person. Nora does not respond...

So if indeed Nora and Kushibo turn out to be the same person, then what is going on here is Kushibo making it seem that he is taking the high road in response to yet another angry blogger who assails him (he is a lightning rod, you know. Nora refers to herself as one too), while his lesbian-Republican sock puppet can come on and make the  accusations/insults for him. Classy. Now that IS my level!

Note: In no way do I mean to imply anything negative about lesbians in the above comments.
Although I can't say some of my best friends are lesbians, I would
really, really like to make some.

So if Kushbio and Nora are indeed the same person and this is how Kushibo 'rolls,' then yes Kushibo, you are a dick and its probably best that you just scrap both blogs and try this whole experiment all over again. I think the blog name 'Seoul of Kimchi ' is still available, though 'This is Seoul Aim' might be more fitting.

If Matt is mistaken and there's a logical explanation for everything and you and 'Nora' prove it by showing up together in Itaewon, then it will be all apologies and group hugs. However, we'll also need to see proof that Nora is indeed a Republican (we'll bring a hippie along for her to beat up) and a lesbian (it's Itaewon, we'll figure something out).

Also, I will promptly delete this post (though not before you have a chance to copy it and add it to your ever-growing list of people's comments about you on your blog, you little hot sparkin' lightning rod you!).

Now, some of you may be asking, are the Big Hominid and I indeed the same person as Nora knows Nada suggests? Of course we are, ya idjits! Just look at all the evidence:

1. Both blogs make continuous scatological references.

2. Have you seen any other blog display as many of Kevin's (MY) drawings from the Big Hominid site? For Gods sake, I posted the 'It makes a difference to the sheep' pic alone three posts in a row a few months back!

Look, here it is again! Seriously, who the hell other than Kevin (ME!) would keep showing this picture over and over again? Oranckay? Jodi? I don't think so...

3. We both claim to be American and yet did not support the Iraq war from the very beginning. Come on! What are the odds of that? (oh, I guess I may have given it away now, but Cathartidae is my blog too.

So next the question is 'why'?

Well, I invented the Party Pooper primarily for two reasons:

1. Because I have always wanted to vent my true feelings about Korea anonymously without getting fired from my job or disowned by my parents. Really, posts like  'Song Hye Kyo, you Whore!' just wouldn't be understood by my students and being a single man going into my thirties, my mother would get more than a little nervous if she knew I had started a 'Gaywatch' project or even referred to someone like Lee Junki in passing.

2. I would have the Partypooper purposely mispell words and then I could come along and grandly correct them for all to see (just look at the comments section in a day or two and you'll see an example of this from these very sentences!).

So anyway, there it all is out in the open and damn if it just doesn't feel great. No more lies!

And by the way, if you'd all like to buy one of Kevin's my books (you know, the 'scary spasm chasm' thing and that 'skull in the water' or whatever book)  just go ahead and send your money through this site and you'll get a 40% discount. Yeah, do it soon.

Comments on original post

Comments

No corrections from me. Outed is the correct spelling. But perhaps you don't know because I never mentioned it on my blog, but I too am an American who opposed the war from its onset. Does that mean that we are the same person? And what does that say about how crazy I am seeing as I've met both you and the Big Ho in person? I'm certifiable.

Posted by: Joel | August 03, 2006 at 01:12 PM

OMG...One of your best posts to date. And just when I was going to start sending you nasty stalker-type emails for not posting more often like you said you would.
And lest's see if I can add this all up. Both Kevin and I like Peanut Butter Cups (not sure what that means, but I thought I'd throw it in there). Kevin claims to be my father (My mom still hasn't gotten back to me about that one, btw).
You and Kevin are the same person....oh boy.

Posted by: Nomad | August 03, 2006 at 07:10 PM

Truly brilliant. I'm not entirely sold on the Kushibo/Nora thing, but looks compelling. Methinks I'll hold for a response from either site before deciding for sure.

What amuses me more is this whole K-blog subculture that everyone knows everyone (at least via comments and trackbacks). The true beneficiary? Anonymous but faithful readers like me.

Posted by: Shawn Lee | August 03, 2006 at 09:23 PM

Excellent post, Me. I found this post via Lost Nomad, who is also Me. As should be obvious by now, I am everyone. And everywhere. The entire K-blogosphere is just me talking to myself.

(Whoa-- forgot to capitalize "me" and "myself" there.)


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | August 03, 2006 at 10:35 PM

There's a lot of that going around it seems. Now if anyone can prove Mizs and Magoo are one in the same I'll feel vindicated knowing I was right. In fact, Kushibo and Mizs always seem to show up together now that I think about it.... hmm.

Posted by: Gar | August 03, 2006 at 10:43 PM

You forgot to add your experince on the grassy knoll in Daley Plaza.

Posted by: Drambuie_man | August 03, 2006 at 11:05 PM

my plan to create a sock to complement my own posts is now on hiatus. probably for the better, as i was told that my choice of "iloverottencrotch" as my sock handle was too transparent.

Posted by: iheartblueballs | August 04, 2006 at 12:12 AM

Dammit, why can't Kev be a hot mixed-race lesbian, too?

Posted by: Justin | August 04, 2006 at 02:44 AM

Justin,

I'm mixed-race and get hot when I hike up the mountain, but it's gonna take a few days with the pocketknife before I can even begin to resemble a lesbian.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | August 04, 2006 at 06:54 AM

I think a few days is a generous estimate. It could take you a lot longer than that just to find the thing.

Posted by: Joel | August 04, 2006 at 09:12 AM

Yeah; call me Fats Pimpledick.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | August 04, 2006 at 09:30 AM

Man, aren't you sensitive? I was saying you have a small penis. I wasn't trying to imply you were fat. ^^

Posted by: Joel | August 04, 2006 at 12:13 PM

"sock puppet"? Well the Wiki definition was new to me too; the one I new about involved the hollywood/film world practice of clothing "peni" of male actors with socks when they are appearing in nude scenes where said peni won't be called on actually to make an appearance.Doesn't apply in porn, obviously, even when the main charater isn;t in "in action", since it's usally then getting "fluffed".

Posted by: Sperwer | August 04, 2006 at 05:46 PM

Joel,

Well, THANK GOD it was only THAT!

Me, I interpreted the joke as "combing through rolls of fat for Teenie Weenie," hence Fats Pimpledick.

Now, alas, our jokes have been spoiled through overanalysis and overexplanation, and I still haven't found my dick. Does Emmanuelle Chriqui have it?


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | August 04, 2006 at 09:06 PM

This post is getting funnier all the time.

"Fats Pimpledick"

Oh man.

Posted by: Nomad | August 04, 2006 at 09:26 PM

It occurs to me that it is going to cost Kushibo a lot of money to find a Korean-American girl willing to pretend to be Nora.

Posted by: Matt | August 06, 2006 at 09:25 AM

It occurs to me that it is going to cost Kushibo a lot of money to find a Korean-American girl willing to pretend to be Nora.

Too bad Lee Joon-gi's English isn't up to snuff. Otherwise he could pull it off easily.

Posted by: Iceberg | August 06, 2006 at 08:17 PM

Ice> Nah thats not going to go well since the "Nora" is going to have to prove an intrest in girls.

Posted by: Drambuie Man | August 06, 2006 at 10:24 PM

Dram-Man,

When you say 'nora' will have to prove an interest in girls, do you mean the 'Kushibo' nora pretending to like girls? Or the woman Kushibo will pay to pretend to be Nora to prove an interest in girls. I think it will be easier for the paid fake nora to prove she likes girls.

However I am sure Kushibo will be happy to show off his lance bass sticker collection.

Posted by: kramer | August 07, 2006 at 12:40 AM

Kramer>Can I get a diagram before I awnser that one?

Posted by: Drambuie_man | August 07, 2006 at 11:07 PM

I like sheep --- in that way....

Posted by: usinkorea | August 08, 2006 at 07:15 AM

"hike up the mountain"?

It's been awhile since I was on a college campus with the young folk.

What kind of gay/lesbian sex act was that a reference to?

Posted by: usinkorea | August 08, 2006 at 07:18 AM

Is Kushibo OK? Does he have any friends that can find out if he is alive.

Posted by: HopSinger | August 19, 2006 at 08:36 PM

Check out Occidentalism, Kushibo is alive living in Hawai`i and made an appearance on t.v.!

http://www.occidentalism.org/?p=362

Posted by: kealii | September 22, 2006 at 01:28 AM

Be the Reds (or Be Dead)

Did any catch this story about
the Korean sports commentator who got fired because he pointed out that
the controversial offsides call in the Swiss game was actually correct?

 
 

Shin reiterated inflammatory remarks that cost him his job
late last month, saying a controversial off-side decision in Korea’s
game against Switzerland in the World Cup should not have been played
up. “Korean Football Association president Chung Mong-Joon told the
public he would protest against bad calls by referees over the off-side
issue to FIFA, and it infuriated people and poured oil on the flames by
not offering accurate information on the off-side rule to the people
who didn’t know enough about it.”

 

Shin was branded a traitor by some when he sided with the
referee over his decision to overrule a line judge who signaled Swiss
forward Alexander Frei was off-side in Switzerland’s game with Korea on
June 24. Frei scored a second goal for his team in the 32nd minute of
the second half. Such was the outcry over Shin’s remark that SBS, where
he was meant to work until July 10, sent him home on June 28.

Here's the traitor himself. May he never be allowed to work in this country, nor wear the color red, for the rest of his life.

Kind of reminds me of last year when patriotic Koreans ganged up on MBC
for suggesting that Dr. Hwang conducted fraudulent research. Nice to
see that so much was learned from that painful event.

And finally, I just have to remind everyone that Italy has won the World Cup, as I fearlessly predicted
long ago. The odds that Italy would win the
world cup were 10-1. That was money in the bank had you, my dear
readers, been wise enough to heed my visions.

Now some of you might well ask why I did not follow my own psychic
visions and become rich. Foolish mortals, that is not the Psychic Way.
We float above the masses with their common desires for the petty
rewards of the material world. Our work is to bring healing to the
planet and help humanity connect with the spirit world. It's all in a
book I'm writing that will soon be made available to the public through
my website in the near future (retail $45, all major credit cards
accepted).

Comments from original post

Sign me up right away immediately! My credit card number is 3212-333-222-366-3212-3333-22321.

Posted by: Ders | July 11, 2006 at 05:08 PM

better article here:

http://english.donga.com/srv/service.php3?bicode=070000&biid=2006070831378

Posted by: iheartblueballs | July 11, 2006 at 08:45 PM

Traitor to Tangun~!

To Yodok with you!

Posted by: Hugh | July 11, 2006 at 09:53 PM

Oh those silly Coreans!!! Why can't they just ZERG RUSH kekekeke Damaedo just to make a point about Corean Pryde?

Posted by: Mark | July 12, 2006 at 08:56 PM

"It's all in a book I'm writing that will soon be made available to the public through my website in the near future (retail $45, all major credit cards accepted)."

This sounds discomfitingly familiar...


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | July 13, 2006 at 05:39 AM

Fear of a Crumply Brown Hat

I should have learned my lesson yesterday, but I didn't and here's another post that I'll probably regret putting up. Oh well, gotta be me.

While looking for information on early English education, a series of unfortunate links led me to the ELT News site and this article in their 'ELT Thinktank' section.

This is Chris Hunt: EFL kindergarten teacher extraordinaire in Japan. If you can look past the hat (I know, it isn't easy), you'll see that he is holding something that looks like some kind of wind instrument (be sure to click on the picture to make it even harder to see) Or maybe it's a 'love stick' he uses on his children and/or himself? I dare not speculate.

The point in this 'thinktank forum' is just to share a good idea you’ve had that other teachers might find useful. The other entries all seem more or less fine, but Chris, like his appearance, proves to be unique.

Either missing the
point entirely or just seeking desperately to be clever, this is part of his initial
response to the topic:

Somewhere in King Lear there’s a discussion about the worst. For better or for worse the argument
goes as follows ­ so long as we can say this is the worst, then it is not the
worst. But how does the argument stand up the other way around? Let’s try it out. As long as we can say this is the best, it is not the
best! What is best can be bested. Something better this way bends. I guess
whether you find this a cause for celebration or a cause for concern depends
upon your point of view. Or perhaps it is both? Or perhaps it is neither?

Perhaps you can get to some sort of logical point?

Can you imagine having to sit in a meeting with this guy?
It’s late, you’ve got things to do and just want whatever is on the agenda to
be resolved and then this guy opens his mouth and starts babbling out this kind
of nonsense ad nauseum. Knuckles whiten as you clutch your Parker pen tightly
and stare down at your daily planner. Maybe if everyone avoids eye contact he’ll
eventually get the hint and stop?  You begin to doodle cartoons of a little stick
figure with a big hat dying in various, gruesome ways. The babbling continues…

Why is it that human beings get so wrapped up in what is
best? Is it a facet of what has been termed the ‘human condition’ or just a
function of social conditioning? Is it the pursuit of excellence or merely the
expression of ego? Is the source a love of life or a fear of it? Does it spring
from an abundance of self esteem or from a lack of it? Don’t expect much of an
answer from me ­ at the moment I fear I am not in my perfect mind. Perhaps I
need a drink; but first an aside.

I'm sorry, an 'aside'? You mean you are going to go even further away from the topic than you already have been for several paragraphs? You look around the meeting room desperately at the other teachers forced to endure this bullshit. Your heart sinks as you see nothing but helpless despair in all of their eyes. And Chris mercilessly rambles on...

Where do ideas come from? When I sat down to write this
piece I began with just one idea in mind, a feeble joke. It went like this. Ah
yes, my best idea of the year ­ I’m still waiting for it. But now thoughts are
swirling around me and through me like so many phantoms. Which ones can I give
shape and substance to? Which ones will allow me to?

 Yeah, at this point, sitting in our hypothetical meeting with Chris babbling away, you’ve got your own phantom-like
thoughts swirling around your head. Which to give shape and substance to? The
ones impelling you to try to knock off that ridiculous hat by angrily hurling your
daily planner across the room? Or the ones compelling you to scream and hurl
yourself out the window and fall to your death?

I don’t mean this as a blanket condemnation of everyone in education, but
I just have a hard time thinking of where else this guy would be able to hold a
job, let alone be allowed to speak in a public forum. Nothing comes to mind, but an IMAO “In my world” type scenario just popped
into my head with our beloved Chris as a member of the Bush cabinet.

Bush: So people, what’s the best way to get out of this Iraq quicksand…mirey thing?

Chris: Well, I don’t really like to think about things in terms of ‘best’. I mean, what exactly does ‘best’ mean? And when we agree to
label something ‘best’, are we really saying it could not bested? What if something better this way bends…ACK!..AARRGH, GASP!

Bush: Cheney, stop enstrangling the guy. I
like when he talks. Gives me a chance to look out the window and clear my head,
think about ranch stuff I’d like to do come this month’s 2-week vacation.

Cheney: Sorry, Mr President. I was just
going to straighten out his tie and I tripped. Let me make it up to you Chris
by taking you out on a hunting trip.

Chris: Can I wear my hat? It makes me look
taller!

Cheney: [flashing that classic
heart-warming Cheney smile] Oh yes. Please do wear the hat. Yes...

Ok, back to Hunt’s deep dish of philsophical goodness.

Suddenly I’m reminded of an old Monty Python skit where
John Cleese (I think) dressed as a middle aged woman recites his theory about
dinosaurs, “Dinosaurs are thin at one end, fat in the middle and thin at the
other. This is my theory and mine alone.” Yet how many of us have had an idea
that we can honestly lay claim to alone? Can ideas really be born in isolation?
And if this is not the case, what price copyright?

Back to my drink. Okay, who’s been drinking from my glass?
Just look at it! I could say that it is half empty. I could say that it is half
full. I could say it’s just a glass. After all, it’s just imagination.

For some reason, this picture (swiped from the Big Ho's gallery) comes to mind after reading the above.

Seriously, does he even remember the original question at this
point? And I am the only person masochistic enough to continue reading?

Well, apparently Chris does look back to
the original question and finally gets around to answering. It’s some reward system he worked out to get his kindergarten kids to
speak in English. If for whatever reason you kind of feel down on your life, I
encourage you to read this. Might make your life seem a whole lot better in comparison.  

And I think Chris himself starts to reflect a little too much on the meaning (or lack thereof) of his life. After talking about his classroom for a few paragraphs, this is what he
writes next:

Lately I haven’t been sleeping so well. I’m
wondering about whether to renew my contract.

Then he goes right back into discussing his
kindergarten class without missing a beat. A beautiful little glimpse into a
troubled mind. I can’t help but start to pity him
at this point. He begins to criticize his ideas and I seriously wonder if he is
about to completly lose it. I’m not up on my psychology,
but I think that the day he decided to start wearing that hat was one of the
first warning signs that he needs help. Is it too late for Chris?

I’ve
described my best idea of the year as garbage. It is working well as a control
system but is undemocratic. Yet it offers a reference point for me to move away
from. Something is not always better than nothing, but then nothing comes of
nothing ­ so create again.

Yes, I…uh, what?

A reference point to move away from. I do
like that quote. English teachers everywhere in Asia, here is a reference point
that I hope you all can move away from.

A little quality control could do wonders for the reputation of the English teaching industry in Asia.

Comments from original post

That dude's la-la musings remind me of the classic creation hymn found in the Rig Veda (10.129):

There were begetters, there were mighty forces,
free action here and energy up yonder
Who verily knows and who can here declare it,
whence it was born and whence comes this creation?
The Gods are later
than this world's production.
Who knows then whence
it first came into being?
He, the first origin of this creation,
whether he formed it all
or did not form it,
Whose eye controls this world
in highest heaven,
he verily knows it
...or perhaps he knows not.

Posted by: Kevin Kim | July 01, 2006 at 06:11 AM

I've been feeling a bit down of late but that - what can I say? Funny as fuck...ha ha. Thanks - x

Posted by: Leone | July 01, 2006 at 06:57 AM

How much do you want to bet he speaks like that to his kindergarten students too? Some of these dudes get off on talking over people's heads.

And on an aside what exactly is "getting off?" Is it merely an abstract concept that we have created to define a chemical reaction occurring in the medial forebrain bundles? Or is there an actual "getting off process" that can be quantitatively measured? And how do such measurements relate to erections? What is an erection and why did we start calling it a boner? And how come there is a word for boner backwards, renob, but not for erection? Wouldn't a word like noitcere be more conducive to experiencing this getting off?

Posted by: Joel | July 02, 2006 at 06:13 PM

Very deep Joel. And would said boner be best described as half-erect? Or half-limp?

And by the way Pooper, what's with your unnecessary slanderations of the President? Why do you hate America so much?

Posted by: captainhowdy | July 02, 2006 at 10:49 PM

I have always enjoyed the term "semi-flacid," but maybe that's just me.

Posted by: Joel | July 03, 2006 at 06:59 AM

Where do ideas come from? Do they fall from the sky? Are they innate in the mind? No, they come from practice and reflection on this practice.

Mao Tse-tungjavascript:void(0)

Posted by: Tony | July 04, 2006 at 01:21 AM

Is he wearing a pink bunny suit?

Posted by: Hugh | July 10, 2006 at 04:59 PM