Day in Photos: Fall 2006

Condoleezza Rice, reacting to news that South Korea has no intention of doing jack shit in response to the North Korean nuclear weapon test.

Condoleezza Rice and Noh Mu-hyun share some casual conversation. Here, Rice is telling the Korean President that no, she hasn't had a chance to hear any Korean rap or hip-hop yet, and neither has she ever been told that she looks like Whoopi Goldberg or the 'skinny one' from the Bubble Sisters.

President Noh Moo-hyun, right, talks with Japanese Foreign Minister Taro Aso about the North Korean nuclear crisis. Noh is seen talking about the importance of continuing to send money to North Korea to keep the lines of dialogue open, while Aso wonders if he has ever seen a bigger moron in all of his life.

Chung Mong-koo, left, chairman
of Hyundai-Kia Automotive Group, cheers with Sonny Perdue, governor of
Georgia, in Atlanta, Ga., Friday, ahead of a groundbreaking ceremony
for Kia Motors’ all-new U.S. plant in West Point, Georgia.

With Hyundai continuing it's Kumsan money funneling project to North Korea, consumers can feel good knowing that with every Hyundai purchased, Kim Jong-il's despotic regime is that much more resistant to sanctions. Keep buying Korean products America! Support our allies!

Does Ban Ki-moon have what it takes to be the next incompetent and irrelevant leader of the defunct UN? Our website research team says yes! Already billions of people from around the world could care less what he has to say about world issues such as nuclear weapon proliferation, looming civil war in Iraq, and poor refereeing in the Swiss-Korean 2006 World Cup match.

Michelle Wie is among the 20 highest earning athletes in the world, which is pretty good for someone who has never actually achieved anything (maybe she should start hanging out with Paris Hilton?). Must be her Asian ideal B cup boobs.

Hordes of young Korean lesbian lovers take to the mountains to enjoy the fall scenery.

And there's certainly nothing wrong with that.

Comments on original blog entry

LOL LOL LOL

X2

Posted by: Nomad | October 20, 2006 at 10:05 PM

Partypooper,

At least Michelle Wie at 16 y.o. got a few years to go from B to C.

You're pennis is still at a pubarescent stage.

Posted by: partypooper's gay friend | October 21, 2006 at 01:48 AM

Funny thing about Chung Mong-koo, chairman of Hyundai-Kia Automotive Group,is that the fucker is out on bail right now. THAT'S RIGHT!

Only in Korea, the land of "the economy is everything".

Posted by: Seth Gecko | October 21, 2006 at 02:35 AM

I have been trying to get Rice to run for president ever since I read a news report that said when she came to Korea in early 2003, she busted the South Korean government's balls in a manner that was spot on how they should have been busted:

It was reported that the SK team was explaining about the huge anti-US orgy that had been going on for months and that was widing down. They said if the US in Korea had only done this or that or this and that and so on, the orgy would have been much smaller. The USFK and Embassy guys tried to explain they had, in fact, done each of those things, but this was dismissed, as usual, as not having been done "in the right way" or with the proper "sincerity."

Anyway, Rice is reported to have cut to the chase-

She asked the Korean team if they knew the names of the two girls who were killed by the armored vehicle. "Of course" they said they did.

Then she is said to have asked them if they knew the names of any of the South Korean sailors who were killed in the West Sea Clash that happened a few short weeks before the tank accident....

The conversation came to an end on the subject of why the anti-US orgy grew into what it did.....

I would LOVE to have a video of that conversation!!!

Posted by: usinkorea | October 21, 2006 at 10:37 AM

'gay friend': For the record, I did not mean to imply that there was anything wrong with B cup size. We here at the Partypooper encourage and appreciate diversity. As for your other sentence, it wasn't particularly comprehensible. Perhaps you should refrain from attempting to use words beyond 1 syllable for a while (or at least learn how to use a dictionary). Work on 'you're' grammar more as well.

USinKorea: I thought Rumsfield was the man who nailed the 'Woori' crew with those lines. Could be wrong though. Anyway, I wonder if it was reported in the Korean newspapers.

Posted by: partypooper | October 21, 2006 at 06:05 PM

The entire Uridang, a party consisting of North Korean sleeper agents, political hacks, assholes and retards needs to be voted out of power and replaced by a either the Hanaradang or the Minjunodongdang.

Roh is a moron, but nowhere on the level of Taiwan Province's Chen Shuibian...

Posted by: Mark Milton | October 21, 2006 at 09:52 PM

The entire Uridang, a party consisting of North Korean sleeper agents, political hacks, assholes and retards needs to be voted out of power and replaced by a either the Hanaradang or the Minjunodongdang.

Roh is a moron, but nowhere on the level of Taiwan Province's Chen Shuibian...

Posted by: Mark Milton | October 21, 2006 at 09:56 PM

Party Pooper, I think you're gay friend was slamming your athletic ability. I think he meant "Your tennis is still at a putrescent stage!"

Posted by: Jenn | October 22, 2006 at 02:55 AM

i admire your work double-P, but your characterization of wie isn't fair and balanced like we all aspire to be, but only fox news achieves.

the fact that she hasn't won an lpga tournament yet doesn't mean she hasn't accomplished anything. far from it. take a look at her wiki page, but the fact that she has six top-5 finishes (three this year) in lpga majors in the last 4 years, and is currently ranked 10th in the world rankings while playing in only a third of the events that others play says a lot about her accomplishments thus far.

who knows if she'll reach tiger-like domination status, but it's a given that she'll start winning tournaments, and soon. a golfer doesn't consistently pull top-5's without eventually putting it together and getting the breaks to win one.

let me suggest that you've fallen into the korean "gold medal equals success and silver equals failure" mentality, and that's not a crowd you'd like to be associated with.

Posted by: iheartblueballs | October 25, 2006 at 09:26 PM

Wie looks like a dude.

Posted by: hardyandtiny | October 28, 2006 at 11:02 AM

party pooper
party poopo
partypoo
partybo
purtybo
kurtybo
kurshybo
kushibo

Oh joyous penis

Posted by: rint | November 04, 2006 at 08:49 PM

rint
orint
morint
moront
moron

Posted by: partypooper | November 05, 2006 at 01:44 PM

Nice retort. But that's not the reason I stopped by - this was posted on 20 Oct and today is 8 Nov. See where I'm headed with this?

Posted by: Nomad | November 07, 2006 at 10:38 PM

Yeah, I'm with Nomad.

Posted by: Jenn | November 11, 2006 at 05:02 AM

Ugh - who said Lesbian?

Posted by: Leone | November 22, 2006 at 05:52 PM

okaii........so first of all you think two korean girls holding hands is les??? Then you have seriuos issues. (Or I'm I just a humorless dork who is making too much out of this? Really hard for me to say.) If you are best friends with someone you treat them like your sister, so basically your saying that when you were little and if you had a brother or sister and held hands with him or her you were gay. (Ok, you're clearly not saying that, sorry for the real stupid analogy). NIce...You really made a great statement. And also what's up with talking shit bout michelle wie? I mean you must be really into korean girls if you search on the interenet just to find which boob size she has. Or is that just another silly joke that dumb people take out of proportion? Hmmm...maybe I shouldn't have skipped my Zoloft today.

Posted by: mary-elle | January 13, 2007 at 06:06 PM

Trust the Computer

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

They're here for our cows...

Get to this site now and watch the video. Get informed.

Enjoy your burgers while you can, stupid earthlings...

I am reminded (for no particular reason) of a conversation I once had with an English textbook writer who stated proudly that her textbooks made no reference whatsoever to any fast food such as hamburgers or pizza. I asked her if beef itself was unhealthy, and if she also excluded mention of steak, kalbi, etc. as well. She said no, beef is fine in moderation. I then asked her if bread was unhealthy, or ketchup, tomatoes, or lettuce, with my voice rising in volume and pitch with each further hamburger ingredient until finally I was screaming at the top of my lungs, "THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS SO HIDEOUSLY WRONG WITH LETTING KIDS EAT A FUCKING HAMBURGER EVERY NOW AND THEN!" And she ran off weeping.

Every few months I catch a news report or documentary on Korean TV about the skin disease atopy. It shows some poor kids who are almost completely covered with a nasty looking itchy rash. Without fail, they mention fast food as one of the main culprits. Having not heard of this in the States, where more burgers and fries are consumed per capita than anywhere else in the world, I looked up as many sites on atopy and eczema that I could find and soon realized that this is a Korean myth right up there with fan death. The Korean response to the fact that fast food doesn't cause high levels of atopy in the States is that our bodies must be different. So what about Korean Americans, I ask, who grow up on a western diet of fast food? And that's usually where the conversation ends.

Enjoy your burgers, people. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You don't see aliens coming millions of light years across the universe to steal our kimchi, do you? Think about it...

Comments on original blog entry

Moshi moshi oishi ushi! (Hello delicious cow!)
I kept thinking about you making that woman weep over hamburgers yesterday. It made me laugh all day!

Posted by: Jenn | October 02, 2006 at 08:45 PM

All lies by the Party Pooper.

Fan death is real and so is Miguk-hanburger-engendered atopy -- which is short for "a topping," meaning the toppings on a hanburger.

A little-known FACT is that hanburger is ground by fan blades, which accounts for the deadly deadliness of hanburgers ... especially Miguk hanburgers.

Hanguk hanburgers are not so bad because they are HANGUK.

I hope that I have persuaded you to reject the FTA, which is a plot to introduce more Miguk hanburgers into Uri Nara and weaken the Korean SPIRIT until the Miguks take over.

Resist.

Gypsy 'Hanguk' Scholar

* * *

Posted by: Horace Jeffery Hodges | October 04, 2006 at 02:52 AM

Why the hell isn't my trackback showing up?

""THEN WHAT THE FUCK IS SO HIDEOUSLY WRONG WITH LETTING KIDS EAT A FUCKING HAMBURGER EVERY NOW AND THEN!""

Too funny.

Jeffery,

Hanburgers? I'm surprised no one like Lotteria has thought of that yet...

Posted by: Nomad | October 04, 2006 at 03:23 AM

Nomad,

I realize you're joshing, but I'll be a geek, anyway:

Why no han-burgers at Lotteria? Probably because "han" all by itself means something along the lines of "bitterness." Koreans want to "untie" their han, not eat more of it!

Imagine something called the Spleenburger in the West. It might be a hit among angry nebbishes, but that's about it.


Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | October 04, 2006 at 04:39 AM

Damn, Kevin. And all this time I thought that Koreans wanted to "unite" their han.

I guess that was just my dyslexia...

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

Posted by: Horace Jeffery Hodges | October 04, 2006 at 12:17 PM

Kevin,

But by eating it, wouldn't that, in a weird way, be one way of getting rid of it? Something about swallowing a bitter pill?
A spleenburger...that's pretty funny too.

Posted by: Nomad | October 04, 2006 at 03:59 PM

The whole argument that Korean bodies are different from those of foreigners is the same that North Korea uses to sell its domestically produced herbal remedies to its citizen s and discourage med students from wanting to study abroad.

Posted by: SomeguyinKorea | October 04, 2006 at 04:43 PM

The whole argument that Korean bodies are different from those of foreigners is the same that North Korea uses to sell its domestically produced herbal remedies to its citizen s and discourage med students from wanting to study abroad.

Posted by: SomeguyinKorea | October 04, 2006 at 04:43 PM

I can imagine Lotteria's first commercial:

DAE-HAN-BUR-GER!!

dunh dunh dunh dunh dunh

Posted by: Iceberg | October 04, 2006 at 04:51 PM

Iceberg, that's pretty funny!

I see that I'd better copyright my coinage of "Hanburger" right now.

Everybody, don't forget that I came up the the word before anyone else!

Though I suppose that somebody, somewhere might have already coined it...

Jeffery Hodges

* * *

Posted by: Horace Jeffery Hodges | October 04, 2006 at 08:49 PM

Top Brits

This makes two of us. The BBC ran a '100 Greatest Britons'
poll and had Diana mentioned along with names like Churchill, Darwin,
Lennon, Shakespeare and Newton (Diana placed third, by the way).   It was
a WTF Moment that wasn't surpassed until I heard that 'Bi' was rated the second most influential entertainer in the world by Time magazine (I guess he influenced a lot of other singers around the world to poorly imitate the sound and style of American singers?).

What exactly did Diana do that was so great anyway? Is sleeping with Charles that incredible of an effort? If she never really loved him, wasn't she just marrying him for the money and prestige?  That's funny, because when normal women do that kind of thing we tend to call them gold-digging whores.

Other WTF Moments from the Greatest Briton's poll: Boy George was
ranked 12 places higher than Freddie Mercury from Queen. Personally, I
blame the homosexual community in general for having such awful taste in
music (I offer the Scissor Sisters
success in the UK as evidence of that). Freddie Mercury will always be the true Queen of England in my book. All the Beatles were in the top 100, save poor Ringo
who I understand was ranked 467, just behind Yoko Ono. Bob Geldof and
Bono, who are actually Irish, placed 75 and 86 respectively. And the
greatest shocker of all is that Ozzy Osbourne, the Elvis Presley of
heavy metal, was not included. Be ashamed Britain. Be very ashamed.

Comments on original blog entry

No Ozzy? A travesty, that's what it is.

Posted by: Nomad | September 03, 2006 at 04:17 PM

Diana's a poofter. So is Geldof and the gang. As for the Gang of Four, a bunch of wankers.

However, Adrian Mole Rules!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: yankabroad | September 07, 2006 at 06:00 AM

Hmmm, interesting, personally i think the world was doing a fine job of imitating the Americans without Bi... but i could be wrong... i mean i always kind of thought that working out the laws of the universe was SLIGHTLY more important than giving birth to princes...

Posted by: Crazyfrog | September 08, 2006 at 03:31 AM

if you met any english people. Its no wonder a whore like diana placed 3rd/

Posted by: Do | September 08, 2006 at 09:18 AM

Actualy I don't personaly call her a gold-digging whore, I prefer the more neutral term "ex-wife"

Posted by: Drambuie_man | September 08, 2006 at 09:29 AM

Ohhh Betty. How the hell did Michael Crawford get in there at no 17?

Since it is wikipedia, you could always edit it to suit yourself :)
Alan Turing got in quite high

Posted by: Jon Allen | September 19, 2006 at 03:59 AM

Public Punching Bags

A rash of bus driver beatings in the news recently. Found all the videos at Redbug.

Our first feature video is a drunk ajoshi who is upset because the driver doesn't have change for a 10,000 won bill. He smacks him a bit, leaves the bus, then comes back on again, drags the driver out by his neck and beats him some more.

A bit later they show another drunk ajoshi attack a bus driver as soon as he enters the bus. Very uncool. Some guys just know nothing of proper foreplay. You start with some verbal abuse and threats, followed by a bit of pushing and slapping, and only then is your victim ready to be pummeled and throttled. Beat up people right or just don't do it all, I always say.

This video has
some of the most brutal footage but you have to wait until the end of
the broadcast (the main story is about a bus driver who crashed into
several cars at an intersection). I'm sure this bus driver lost a
couple of teeth.

But it's not all drunk ajoshi's looking to get in some warm-up boxing before getting home and beating their wives proper.  This video shows a female university student attacking not one but two different bus drivers with a hammer. The reason? The brakes on the buses were too loud. Fortunately, she doesn't seem to have the strength to really do any serious damage, as both drivers were able to fend her off somewhat by blocking her swings with their hands (if I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times; women and hammers just don't mix).

I don't think she was a passenger, just someone who living near a station or a bus stop and was going nuts because of the noise.

I don't know how many passengers were on board during these beatings, but it strikes me that in not one of the clips does any one come up to try to intervene. There just seems to be something in the Korean psyche that holds them back when they see others getting attacked (unless you are an American GI involved in a scuffle, I suppose, then you can expect a mob to form almost instantly).

Don't expect any real punishment for the attackers. They'll show up to court looking properly penitent and give a good sob story about how hard their lives are and how much stress they suffer and the judge will let them go with a small fine and a warning (or a second or third warning, as the case may be). It's a 'han' thing that stupid foreigners just can't understand.

And just why is it that drunk and crazy people beat up on the people that deserve it the least? Why can't we be reading about a rash of personal injury lawyer, Amway member, Korean sports writer, Nork-funded NGO or Korean Teacher's Union member beatings?  Aren't there any drunks and loonies out there playing for our team?

Lap Dances Included?

This is a new one for me: China cracks down on striptease funerals.

Strip shows have been commonly used to attract more mourners to
funerals, as villagers believe a crowded send-off brings more honor to
the deceased, Xinhua news agency said.

But police took action after state television exposed the "obscene
performances" at a funeral in Donghai county, Jiangsu province, with
200 people including children in attendance, it said.

Suddenly Korea seems a helluva lot more normal.

Interesting though.  I was of the opinion that naked girls dry humping a casket would probably bring a little less honor to the deceased, but then that's probably just little old prudish me. I can just see the sobbing widow now forcing a smile as she stuffs some bills down a stripper's g-string, while the first son negotiates for a private dance in a back room, 'cause that's what Daddy would have wanted.'

Got this pic from a blogger based in Taiwan, where I suspect this kind of thing is old news. Not sure if she's working a wedding or a funeral, but it's nice to see the ajummas enjoying her performance.

Comments from original post


That's what I want at my funeral.

Posted by: Joel | August 26, 2006 at 11:08 PM

If my view of the world had not already become too cynical, I'd have thought this was a fake story.

But, If it were possible, I'd be pissed if my wife had to hire strippers to get people to come to my funeral. Not that I'd care if few came otherwise. But, pissed because I couldn't enjoy it....

Posted by: usinkorea | August 27, 2006 at 02:08 AM

The author of this blog seems extremely pervert in conjuring up disparagement of Koreans. Are you crippled in mind or... born with head below your feet or...?

Posted by: EB | September 04, 2006 at 10:22 AM

The commenter above seems unable to realize this is a post about China. Or perhaps he thinks China and Korea are the same country? Is he crippled in mind? Pervert in the lacking English? Born with head up the ass?

Posted by: scott | September 04, 2006 at 04:09 PM

'Scott'. The word 'Ajumma' doesn't apply to Chinese. So, what do you say now?

Posted by: Yunie | September 19, 2006 at 09:37 PM

Yunie, are you saying that in China there are no middle aged married women?

Or do you find it offensive if someone refers to a Chinese person using Korean terminology? Do you think the English language is degraded if Korean words are borrowed by native English speakers?

Posted by: partypooper | September 21, 2006 at 01:24 AM

What I'm trying to imply is that, if you're Korean youself, (maybe) why disgrace your own country?

Posted by: Yunie | September 23, 2006 at 10:11 AM

I believe the picture comes from a wedding, not a funeral.

Posted by: Mike | October 31, 2006 at 07:11 PM

Population Crisis and the Noh Response

The Korea Times ran an article on Korea and Taiwan having the lowest birthrates in the world. This is the second year in a row for Korea. It just so happens I have done a bit of research on this matter. Some of the more interesting tidbits:

1. The Japanese population is estimated to begin its decline this year. By the year 2100, if current trends continue, the population of Japan will be half of what it was in 2005.

2. Before the Koreans start celebrating this, however, they should realize they are not far behind. The Korean population should begin to decline around 2020 and will likewise be severely reduced by 2100.

3. In 2020 the Korean workforce will lack over a 1.5 million workers. Around 2040 the economy will pretty much be fucked unless Korea is willing to let in millions of migrant workers.

4. The Noh Response? Way too little and way too late. Current incentives to have children are very little and predictably are having no effect. A friend of mine in Seoul will have 3 children soon, and found out that all he will get is a one time payment of 50,000 won for his third child. Yippie! People who make less money than he does will get more, but that misses the whole point. It's the middle and upper classes that are having less children, knowing what each child will cost them in education costs (about 128 grand from birth to graduation).

They also plan to provide more for childcare around 2010 (can't do it now, as all their extra money either goes to keep the North Korean army fed and clothed or to increase their own military spending so they can defend themselves against said army. You try to financially support your own army and your enemy's and see how much money you have left over!).

I can't see better childcare having much effect anyway. Germany has one of the best childcare and maternal leave programs in the world and their birthrate is the worst in Europe (which is saying something).

5. Korea is not alone in failing to address birthrate problems. No country that has fallen below 1.5 birth rate has managed to bring the birth rate back to the replacement levels of 2.1.

6. By 2050, Korea will have the highest proportion of elderly citizens to those in the workforce: 1:1. To enjoy the same level of government assistance the elderly have now, taxes will need to more than double.

7. Real estate prices in Japan have been dropping since the early nineties. Prices for commercial land now are roughly the same as they were in the late 1970s. Any house or apartment that is bought today will most certainly be worth far less after the average young couple will be able to pay off the housing loan. There is no reason to believe that Korea will not follow the same pattern in the future, though I suspect certain areas like Kangnam will resist the decline to some extent.

8. Russia's population has been in the decline since 1992. There are roughly 8 million fewer Russians now than in 1992. Currently, the population is declining by about 800,000 a year. Not only do they have a low birth rate, but their death rate is quite high.

9. The population of white Americans (non-Hispanic whites, that is) is at a standstill, while minority populations are still growing. Half of the population of LA is Hispanic. In Texas and Florida, Hispanics will be the dominant ethnic group in a few decades. By 2050, the white race will make up less than 50% of the entire population.

10. #9 shouldn't really be troublesome to 'white America'. Second and third generation minorities seem just as 'American' to me as white people. It just seems like a fulfillment of what the 'melting pot' was supposed to be all about anyway.

11. Thanks to immigration and minorities having a lot of babies. America isn't going through the crisis that Asian countries face. While most minority groups assimilate relatively well in the States, European countries can't say the same. Muslims make up the bulk of immigrants, and they are far more resistant to assimilation. It's a problem that many politicians and intellectuals don't want to face, but the fact is 'liberal Europe' may be all but extinct by 2100.

The way I see it, America will be one of the very few developed countries that will get through all of this relatively unscathed.

12. In terms of being an economic powerhouse on the world stage, Korea and Japan do seem completely screwed, and China will have its own problems as well. However, for individual Koreans and Japanese, all of this is not necessarily bad news. Even though Japan's economy has been stagnant for years, per capita incomes have been fine. The population shrinks faster than the economy, so per capita incomes actually have a greater chance to rise than decline. Homes become more affordable and overall living standards are likely to increase. This is how business analyst Michael Backman sees it, anyway, in his book 'The Asian Insider', and he backs up it well with current data on Japan. Overall purchasing power of Japanese has increased significantly over the past few years and there is no reason to see Korea being different.

Comments from original blogpost


You paint a rosier picture of America's demographic future than does Pat "The Cannon" Buchanan. I prefer your picture to his. Ol' Pat's sorta scared of us off-white folks.

Kevin

Posted by: Kevin Kim | August 23, 2006 at 10:49 AM

That was very a edumacated and fascinating analysis Pooper. Here's a summary: Roh is a fucktard.

Posted by: Massive Panda | August 23, 2006 at 05:17 PM

Fuck em I say. There are too many people in the fucking world already. Too many snot nosed brats and shit faced idiots using up oxygen and resources in their dumb pointless lives. The less people the better. BRING IT ON.

Posted by: Cockestien | August 28, 2006 at 07:43 PM

Great Post, Pooper:

What you mentioned about Japan is right on. They've had stagnant and even negative growth for several years in the late 90's and since 2000, and the sky hasn't fallen. It's not that big a deal.

But as for America, what you say about Americans assimilating is right on. I don't know of any other country where the immigrants, after simply one generation, take on such a Rambo style patriotism. Some of the biggest Bush supporters are second generation immigrants. They've totally forgotten (or never learned/retained) their culture, but they are dyed in the wool flag waving patriots. Is it the American dream (a wood and sheetrock house in the suburbs with a 2 car garage) that makes them that way?

Posted by: yankabroad | September 07, 2006 at 06:08 AM



Actually, Cockestien, I totally agree with you.

Why don't you present your case to the retards at the Korea Development Institute?

Posted by: yankabroad | September 16, 2006 at 08:57 AM

I usually only comment when I am angry at someone, but your blog entry is a very, very good piece of analysis. Thank you,
Tae from Maryland.

Posted by: sumo294 | September 21, 2006 at 08:14 AM